Friday

Some Things Are Simply Not Done!


Give Me Ambiguity!


Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Advice From The Ocean!


So - What Are You Doing This Weekend?


Skydiving At UNC!



A UNC student was taking her first
skydiving lesson.

The instructor told her to jump out
of the plane and pull her ripcord,
explaining that he himself would
jump out right behind her so that
they would go down together.

The student understood and was ready.

Just before it was time for her to jump
out of the plane, the instructor reminded
her that he would be right behind her.

She jumped, and, after being in the air
for a few seconds, pulled the rip cord.
The instructor followed her out of the
plane. He pulled his rip cord but the
parachute didn't open.As he struggled
to pull the emergency ripcord, he shot
downward and darted past the UNC student.

Seeing this, she quickly undid the straps
to her own parachute, and yelled after him,
"So you wanna race, huh?!"




Note: Please do not attempt the
above without qualified supervision.


Various College Job Descriptions - Now Available - Great Salary & Benefits!



The PSU graduate with 
a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"



The GT graduate with 
an Engineering degree 
asks, "How does it work?"









The MSU graduate with 
an Accounting degree asks,
"How much will it cost?"



A UNC graduate with 
an Arts degree asks,
"Do you want fries 
with that?"

Vroomscreechvroomscreech



What goes "vroomscreechvroomscreech"? 

A UNC student at a flashing red light.

Happy Sunscreen Protection Day!


DETAILS!!!

TECHNOLOGY TODAY!


Daughter: "Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Australia and he lives in the UK. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of relationship through Viber. Dad, I need your blessings and good wishes."

Father: "Wow! Really! Then get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay through Paypal. And if you are fed up with your husband... sell him on EBay."

UNC Heart Doc!

.

Newest UNC Computer!

Newest UNC Computer
http://siliconvalleywatcher.com/mt/archives/Early-Computer.jpg
#UNC #UNCComputer #UNCC #UNCA #UNCW

Riddles!



1) A woman went to visit her bank manager and
she took her young daughter with her. The bank
manager said that the woman's daughter could
stay with his secretary during the meeting. When
the woman and her daughter left, the secretary
turned to the other secretary and said to her,
"That little girl was my daughter." How could
that be?





2) Who worked at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, London?

A) Mary Poppins
B) Queen Elizabeth I
C) Sherlock Holmes
D) Winston Churchill


http://www.homeschool.com/articles/Keystone3/Girl_Computer.jpg

3) What's the only play of Shakespeare
to mention America?


A) Comedy of Errors
B) Hamlet
C) Macbeth
D) Tempest



*Answers are located in "comments"
for your convenience & felicity but
no machination or peeking allowed.




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Monday

The Answer Please!



Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

The Lotto!


A UNC student buys a ticket and
wins the lottery.

He goes to Raleigh to claim it and
the man verifies his ticket number.
The UNC student says, "I want my
$20 million."

The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't
work that way. We give you a million
today and then you'll get the rest
spread out for the next 19 years."

The UNC student said, "Oh, no.
I want all my money right now!
I won it and I want it."

Again, the man explained that he
would only get a million that day
and the rest during the next 19 years.

The UNC student, furious with
the man, screams out, "Look,
I want my money! If you're not
going to give me my $20 million
right now, then I want my dollar
back!"

Computer Dating!



A UNC student gave up on Computer
Dating after she was stood up by two
mainframes, a mini, and a laptop.



#UNC #Dating #ComputerDating

Your Medical Results Available From UNC Hospital!

http://static.flickr.com/23/26305593_cec25f483f_m.jpg


"Doctor, can you help me? 
Every time I sit down I see 
visions of Mickey Mouse 
and Pluto, and then when 
stand up I see Donald Duck!"

"I see. Tell me, how long have 

you been suffering these DISNEY 
spells?"



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