A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is almond chicken and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says.
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks. "Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.
I walked into a coffee shop in Chapel Hill to find the UNC student behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform. "May I ask the meaning of the sponges?" I asked. The student responded proudly, "My psychology professor told our class that it was O.K. to be self-absorbed."
Please help - I awoke this morning to find myself surrounded by "Global Warming"! People are throwing it at me and kids are making "Global Warming" Men. Where's Al Gore when he's needed??? Professor Howdy
Two mothers met for coffee. "Well Ruthie, how are the kids?"
"To tell you the truth, my son has married a real tramp!" says Ruth. "She doesn't get out of bed until 11. She's out all day spending
his money on Heaven knows what, and when he gets home, exhausted, does she have a nice hot dinner for him? Ha! She makes him take her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant."
"Oh! What a shame. And how about your daughter?" "Ah! Now there's a lucky girl. She has married a saint. He brings her breakfast in bed, he gives her enough money to buy whatever she needs, and in the evening he always takes her out to dinner at a nice restaurant."
A UNC student ventured over to a fancy restaurantin Raleigh, and showed the doorman his driver's license and one of the wheels off his Chevy Impala. The doorman asked what the wheel was for. The UNC student replied in a disgusted tone, "The guy on the radio said you were checking ID's and a tire."