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Sarah's professors tell her 
there's no such thing as 
absolute truth. Professor 
Theophilus says even they 
don't really believe that...


DETAILS!!!

3 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

Ever wonder how much you're worth?

Well, we know all humans
are priceless, but seriously, ever wonder how much money
the elements found in your body are worth?

Well...when we total the monetary value of the elements in our
bodies and the value of the average person's skin, we arrive
at a net worth of $4.50!

This value is, however, subject to change, due to stock market
fluctuations. Since the studies leading to this conclusion
were conducted by the U.S. and by Japan respectively, it might
be wise to consult the New York Stock Exchange and the Nikkei
Index before deciding when to sell!

The U.S. Bureau of Chemistry and Soils invested many a hard-
earned tax dollar in calculating the chemical and mineral
composition of the human body, which breaks down as follows:

65% Oxygen
18% Carbon
10% Hydrogen
3% Nitrogen
1.5% Calcium
1% Phosphorous
0.35% Potassium
0.25% Sulfur
0.15% Sodium
0.15% Chlorine
0.05% Magnesium
0.0004% Iron
0.00004% Iodine

Additionally, it was discovered that our bodies contain trace
quantities of fluorine, silicon, manganese, zinc, copper,
aluminum, and arsenic. Together, all of the above amounts to
less than one dollar!

Our most valuable asset is our skin, which the Japanese
invested their time and money in measuring. The method the
Imperial State Institute for Nutrition at Tokyo developed
for measuring the amount of a person's skin is to take a
naked person, and to apply a strong, thin paper to every
surface of his body. After the paper dries, they carefully
remove it, cut it into small pieces, and painstakingly total
the person's measurements. Cut and dried, the average person
is the proud owner of fourteen to eighteen square feet of
skin, with the variations. Basing the skin's value on the
selling price of cowhide, which is approximately $.25 per
square foot, the value of an average person's skin is about
$3.50. Please check out John 3:16

Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard said...

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true, Doc?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it,
don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's
like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it
faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Professor Howdy said...

As it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived what God has prepared for
those who love Him. --1 Corinthians 2

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