Monday

Mother-n-Law Insult!


When the man came home, his wife was crying.

"Your mother insulted me," she sobbed.


"My mother? How could she do that when she
is on vacation
on the other side of the world?"
the man asked.



"I know. But this morning a letter addressed
to you arrived.
I opened it because I was curious."


"And?"


"At the end of the letter it was written:


PS. Dear Diane, when you have finished reading
this letter,
don't forget to give it to my son."


















*Above demonstrates what intelligent
beautiful girls do when you send them
'T & H' jokes if they esteem you!!! 100%
Veracious - Why wrastle with the hassle!!!
Scientifically Proven - Results Plighted!!!

Famous One Liners! #1



Ninety-nine percent...



of lawyers...



give the rest a bad name!



UNC 3-D Computer!


UNC is working on new 3-D technology
that can be seen without special glasses.
But it's not ready yet, so if you want to
experience 3-D without having to wear
3-D glasses, you have to go outside and
look at something.






Click Here

Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?

Click Here
Click Here


Things To Tell Your Grandkids!




Things to tell your grandkids (if they're young enough, they'll believe you): Back when I was in school we had to walk from the house to the school uphill before daybreak in 2' of snow everyday w/o a coat & barefooted! We had to walk back at midnight uphill also & study for 10 hrs! Things were definitely harder back then! We were only allowed on Facebook, Smart Phones & Twitter on weekends. Fortunately our typewriters were online also & had really cool games!



A Hot & Humid June Afternoon!



It was a hot and humid July 
afternoon last Summer, when 
I decided to visit my girl friend, 
Susie who was a recent UNC grad. 

Beautiful and resourceful, Susie
had decided to repaint her kitchen 

herself instead of hiring a professional. 
I thought she might appreciate 
a break and brought over some iced
tea and some sandwiches.

When I arrived, I found Susie 

working hard, painting the kitchen 
walls. 

To my utter amazement, instead of
wearing old clothes, she was wearing 

her fur coat and her ski parka. 

I asked her why she was dressed that
way on such a hot day. She brought me 

the paint bucket and told me to read 
the instructions. I did. There was the 
explanation for me in black and white.
It said..."For best results, put on two coats."



O.K. To Pass On To Friends/Family/Fellow
Workers/Fellow Students/Fellow
Faculty


No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However a large number of electrons were terribly
inconvenienced...


Thanks/Grazias/Dank/Merci/Danke/Grazie,
Prof. Howdy



Remodeling Your Kitchen?



Riddles!



1) "I know a word of letters three,
add two and fewer there will be."
So, what's the word?


http://images.meredith.com/bhg/images/01/m_FAM900765.jpg

2) What is so fragile that when you say its
name you break it?


3) The first is foremost legally
The second circles outwardly
The third leeds in victory
The last twice ends a nominee
What am I?


4) Count the number of "F"'s in the following text:


FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Got it?


*Answers are located in "comments"
for your convenience & felicity but
no machination or peeking allowed.





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Sunday

Underwear Trial!



A UNC Freshman was arrested with more
than 10,000 pairs of stolen underwear in
his dorm room. Legal experts are expecting
a brief trial. - Jimmy Fallon

Properly Endorsed!


Proud and pleased as she 
could be, the new, young bride,
and a recent graduate of UNC, 
Mrs. Stanford Strothers, strode 
briskly up to the teller's cage 
at the bank to cash her husband's 
pay check for the first time.


When the teller told her the check 
would have to be endorsed, the 
bride grabbed the pen and 
unhesitatingly wrote on the
back, "I heartily recommend 
my husband, Stanford Strothers."


#UNC #BankTeller #JustMarried 

Thursday

Food Quiz!



Food labels are changing in look and content due to federal regulations intended for consumer protection. Knowledge of such terms as the ones listed below can help you shop and eat smarter. Take this test to determine if your vocabulary needs enrichment.



1. organic (adj.) - A: natural. B: synthetic. C: careful.
D: toxic.

2. nutrient (n.) - A: calorie. B: medicine. C: nourishing
food. D: mixture.

3. tofu (n.) - A: oriental spice. B: flavoring. C: soybean
product. D: cooking procedure.

4. cholesterol (n.) - A: poison. B: fat. C: muscle strength.
D: nerves.

5. vitamin (n.) - A: essential substance. B: mineral.
C: digestive aid. D: pep pill.

6. megadose (n.) - amount or portion that is A: dispensed
intermittently. B: large. C: given once. D: generally pre-
scribed.

7. carbohydrate (n.) - a compound A: produced by plants.
B: made artificially. C: high in protein. D: without water.

8. beta-carotene (n.) - source of A: vitamin A. B: chloro-
phyll. C: calcium. D: sugar.

9. ascorbic acid (n.) - A: thiamine. B: bioflavonoid.
C: vitamin B-6. D: vitamin C.

10. metabolism (n.) A: bacterial growth. B: antibody produc-
tion. C: homogenization. D: conversion of food into energy.

11. monosodium glutamate (n.) - A: smart drug. B: preser-
vative. C: flavor intensifier. D: emulsifier.

12. RDA (n.) - acronym for A: Rich Dessert Assessment.
B: Related Digestive Abnormality. C: Regional Desalination
Allocation. D: Recommended Dietary Allowance.

13. plaque (n.) - A: swelling. B: weak spot. C: puncture.
D: deposit of fat.

14. serotonin (n.) - A: cholesterol-reducing substance.
B: chemical. C: artificial sweetener. D: herbal tea.

15. gustatory (adj.) - pertaining to A: taste. B: over-
eating. C: sourness. D: spicy food.

16. amino acids (n.) - A: food preservatives. B: pesticides.
C: protein "building blocks." D: cleansing solutions.

17. fructose (n.) - A: coloring. B: fruit sugar. C: liquid
diet. D: soybean milk.

18. gastronomic (adj.) - having to do with A: stomach acid.
B: a medical procedure. C: eating well. D: inexpensive food.

19. polyunsaturated (adj.) - with fat content that is
A: high. B: medium. C: nonexistent. D: low.

20. sodium chloride (n.) - A: table salt. B: bubbly drink.
C: baking soda. D: antacid.


http://www.mercola.com/images/newsletter/2005/05/07/teens.jpg


*Answers are located in "comments"
for your convenience & felicity but
no machination or peeking allowed.





Do You Believe This?

You believe this? Which takes more Faith & which is more Scientific? Soup or Genesis?

(And Christian Intellectuals - Don't try to Compromise this Truth! God did it all in six twenty-four hour days! Remember "The Evening & The Morning" were the First Day, Second Day, etc.!)

A Mystery Story Set To Music!



#NotToUs


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