Male vs. Female!

Things you'll never hear a man say:

1) Here honey, you use the remote.
2) While I'm up, can I get you anything?
3) Aww, forget Monday Night football,
    let's watch a "chick flick.."
4) Hey, let me hold your purse while
    you try that on.
5) We never talk anymore.

Things you'll never hear a woman say:

1) What do you mean today's our anniversary?
2) Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd
    rather just watch TV.
3) Ohh, this diamond is way to big!
4) Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure
    you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
5) I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way
    to much for a designer dress.

The Economy!

                                                             Click on Pic to Enlarge!


A man and his girlfriend
were out to dinner one night.

The waiter tells them the
night's special is almond
chicken and fresh fish.

"The chicken sounds good;
I'll have that," the woman

The waiter nods. "And the
vegetable?" he asks.

"Oh, he'll have the fish,"
she replies.


So Forgetful!


After eight days of backpacking with my wife Linda, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles.

"Terry," she said, "does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?"

I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?"

Breaking News: Two Students Held Hostage! #BreakingNews #UNC #HeldHostage

Two students were being held hostage
in a third world country and both were
going to be shot.

The NCSU Student

One of them was a UNC student who
was a country music lover and the other
was a N.C. State student who enjoyed all
kinds of music. Before they were shot
they were asked for one last request before
they died. The UNC student said, "I would
like to listen to 'Achy Breaky Heart' fifty
times in a row." The State student says,
"Please, shoot me first."

The UNC Student

Police Arrest Man For Medical Fraud!

The police recently busted 
a man selling 'secret formula' 
tablets he claimed gave eternal 

When going through their 
files they noticed it was the 
fifth time he was caught for 
committing this same criminal 
medical fraud.

He had earlier been arrested 
in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983...........

Making Man!

God made mankind. Sin made him evil.

(Details in Comments!)

The Beauty Of Autumn!

The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold

I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sun-burned hands I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon Ill hear old winters song

But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

Cest une chanson, qui nous ressemble
Toi tu maimais et je taimais

Nous vivions tous, les deux ensemble
Toi que maimais moi qui taimais

Mais la vie spare ceux qui saiment

Tout doucement sans faire de bruit

Et la mer efface sur le sable les pas des amants dsunis...


We're Closed!

If you’re not worth a commitment, he’s not worth your time! ⌚💥
#marriage #love #bestfriends #always #husband #wife #relationship #team #teamwork #blessed #commitment #relationship


'T & H's Anniversary! ♥♥♥

“Sustainability” is a big word today! 

Sustainability matters. Sustainability. 

If you want to own the Millennial generation — if you’re an advertiser, if you are a person with a cause, if you’re in any way involved in drawing a crowd and holding the crowd or separating people from their money and your target is Millennials — say “sustainability.” I don’t know how it happened. Don’t care, doesn’t matter. “Sustainability” is one of the major things to Millennials. Prof Howdy's 'Thought & Humor'  began July 26,1997!

Bride's Request!

Dearest Dad,

I am coming home to get married soon, so get your check book out. I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me.

As you know, I am in Australia ... and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook , had long chats on Whatsapp. He proposed to me on Skype, and now we've had two months of a relationship through Viber.

My beloved and favorite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding.

Lots of love and thanks

…..Your favorite daughter, Lilly


My Dear Lilly,

Like Wow! Really? Cool!

Whatever ... I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through PayPal.

And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on eBay.

….. Love, Your Dad

* This Was Your Life!

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