Saturday

#SunkenShip

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Voyage Marié Juste!



Two newlywed UNC* 
grads were driving 
through Louisiana.

As they were ap -

proaching the town 
of Natchitoches, they 
started arguing about 
the pronunciation of 
the name. They argued 
back and forth until 
they stopped for lunch. 
 As they stood at the 
counter, one UNC grad
asked the manager, 
"Before we order, 
could you please
settle an argument 
for us? Would you 
please pronounce
where we are,...very 
slowly?"


The manager leaned 
over the counter and 
said, "Burrrrrrrr-
gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."


*Please see "comments"
for additional pertinent
& germane information.



http://static.flickr.com/183/404320777_22bea7e97b_m.jpg
Is she laughing or crying at this joke???

Four BullFighters!

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What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?

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A Really Dumb Bumper Sticker!



This Politically Correct Bumper Sticker 
(shown here in black) is strictly for the 
naive & gullible among us! 

Every religion symbolized on this B.S. 
believes that it alone is the only correct 
way but all are false except the ONE WAY 
provided for us by the Creator God of the 
Bible. Weep & cringe for the driver who 
displays this because their ultimate end 
(unless they accept God's ONLY WAY) 
is eternal destruction forever! So sad!

===

The Roman emperor Diocletian, 
following an edict in 303 A.D.,
failed to stamp the Bible out. 
The French Revolution could 
not crush it with secular 
philosophy (Rousseau, one 
of its heroes, converted to 
Christianity). The Communists 
failed to stamp it out with 
atheism and political ideology. 
One might well ask why this 
book has been banned, burned, 
and bludgeoned with such
animosity and scorn. The 
great Reformation hero John 
Calvin responds in this way: 
"Whenever people slander 
God's word, they show they 
feel within its power, however 
unwillingly or reluctantly." - Joe Boot

===

I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying
the really foolish thing that people often say
about Him [Jesus Christ]: "I'm ready to accept
Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't
accept His claim to be God."

That is the one thing we must not say. A man
who was merely a man and said the sort of
things Jesus said would  not be a great moral
teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on a
level with a man who says he is a poached
egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

You must make your choice. Either this Man
was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman
or something worse...

You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit
at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can
fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God.
But let us not come up with any patronizing 
nonsense about His being a great human
teacher. He has not left that option open
to us. He did not intend to.

          -- From C.S. Lewis
(Author of The Chronicles of Narnia)

===

The Bible claims to be the Word 
of the only true God. In addition 
to historical, archaeological, and 
scientific proofs, there are numerous
internal proofs. No such evidences 
exist for other "sacred writings."

The Bible was written during 1,600 
years by 40 prophets, most of 
whom lived in diverse cultures, 
at different times in history, yet 
who never contradict but comple -
ment each other. For the Qur'an, 
Muslims must take the word of 
Muhammad, just as the Book 
of Mormon rests solely upon 
Joseph Smith's word. But every 
biblical prophet is confirmed 
by 39 other prophets.   
              
 - Dave Hunt 

===

God designed humans to want 
to believe in something. That's 
the image of God that is in us. 
But as G. K. Chesterton famously 
put it, when we reject the God
of the Bible, we don't believe 
in nothing; we believe in everything -- 
including Little Green Men.

              - Chuck Colson 

===

The Bible is the best of all books, 
for it is the word of God and teaches 
us the way to be happy in this world 
and in the next. Continue therefore 
to read it and to regulate your life by 
its precepts. - John Jay, letter to 
Peter Augustus Jay, 1784

I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever 
given to man. All the good from the Savior of the 
world is communicated to us through this book.       
- President Abraham Lincoln

For we must consider that we shall be as a City 
upon a hill.  The eyes of all people are upon us.  
So that if we shall deal falsely with our God in this 
work we have undertaken, and so cause Him to 
withdraw his present help from us, we shall be 
made a story and a byword throughout the world.
- John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630  

It is impossible to rightly govern the world without 
God and the Bible. - Attributed to President George Washington

The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, 
with a power that conquers all that oppose it. - Napoleon

That Book accounts for the supremacy of England.
- Queen Victoria 

===

Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, 
and the life. No one can come to the 
Father except through Me. - John 14:6

Nor is there salvation in any other, 
for there is no other name under 
heaven given among men by 
which we must be saved. - Acts 4:12

Here’s What Fear, Hunger & Faith Look Like!



Exhausted mothers. Fathers fearing for their families. Children dying of thirst and hunger. Brand new babies delivered with no medical assistance. Dehydrated elderly. These are just some of the dire circumstances the Yezidi community has faced since being forced to flee their villages for the top of Mount Sinjar, Iraq, after terrorists from the Islamic State attacked them for their religious beliefs Aug. 2.

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Wednesday

UNC Math Class!




The UNC math professor said, 
"Now class, we know their are 
60 seconds in a minute, 60 
minutes in an hour, 24 hours 
in a day, and 365 days in a 
year, so who can tell me how 
many seconds there are in a year?"

All the students looked baffled 
by the question except Rufus, 
who raises his hand and waves 
it excitedly. "Yes, Rufus, how 
many seconds are there in a 
year?" the math professor asked.

Replied Rufus, "Twelve, m'am. 
January second, February
second, March second..."

Three Women In Court!



Three women appeared in court, 
each accusing the others of causing 
the trouble they were having in the 
apartment building where they lived. 

The women were arguing noisily
even in the court. The judge, 

banging his gavel to quiet them,
said, "We are going to do this 

in an orderly manner. I can't 
listen to all of you at once. 
I'll hear the oldest first." 

The case was dismissed for 

lack of testimony.

#BrokenPencil

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Bank Robbery!




A lawyer enters a 
bank as a robber 
is making his get -
away.

Noticing that the 

customers have 
their faces buried 
in the floor, and 
the tellers have 
their hands in 
the air, the lawyer 
asks what's going 
on. As the bank 
manager dials the
police department 
he shouts, "That 
man just walked 
out of here with 
a million dollars!"

"A million dollars! 

Why didn't you 
say something?" 
the lawyer says 
in shock. "I would 
have given him 
my card."

Riddles!



1) I am never quite what I appear to be.
Straight-forward I seem,
but it's only skin deep,
for mystery most often lies beneath my
simple speech.
Sharpen your wits, open your eyes,
look beyond my exteriors, read me backwards,
forwards, upside down.
Think critically and answer the question...
What am I?




2) Like a clown I bring laughter to a child's face,
Like a bird I can fly through open space.
People buy me only to throw me away
Come the very next warm summer day.




3) I always fall,
but I never get hurt.
I can bend over backwards,
but cannot break.
I arrive free of charge
but often leave for a fee.
What am I?


*Answers are located in "comments"
for your convenience & felicity but
no machination or peeking allowed.



http://static.flickr.com/160/433975647_19d679246f_m.jpg

Word Knowledge Quiz!

http://static.flickr.com/35/70845583_623c60a4cb_m.jpg

Match the words in the left-hand
column with the correct definition
in the right-hand column.


1. usurp .............. A. A tale of sorrow
2. slimsy ............. B. Tending to do nothing
3. pleonasm ...... C. Requiring immediate aid or action
4. peripatetic .... D. Use something without the right to do so
5. mores ............. E. The use of more words than are necessary
6. exigent ........... F. A naive girl or young woman
7. delectation ... G. Of or pertaining to walking about or traveling from place to place
8. jeremiad ....... H. Great pleasure
9. ingenue .......... I. The fixed customs of a particular group
10. faineant ...... J. Both slight and flimsy


*Answers are located in "comments"
for your convenience & felicity.

"Comments" only work on Computers
& not Mobile Devices. Thanks Google!

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Tuesday

#EatingSpagetti

                               #Spagetti #ProfHowdy #SillyQuestion #Funny Question

Bar Service!





A man walks into a restaurant 
with his pet alligator under
his arm. "Do you serve tax 
collectors?", he asks the 
barman.

"Of course", says the barman. 


 "Well," replies the man,
"I'll have a root beer, 
and my alligator will 
have a tax collector."

Fixing A Flat - UNC Style!



There was this fellow from UNC 
who had a flat tire. He pulled off 
on the side of the road, jumped 
out of his car, walked down the 
hillside and picked a bunch of 
wildflowers, and proceeded to 
put one bouquet of the flowers 
in front of the car and one behind 
it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as 
he drove by and was so curious 
he turned around and went back. 
He asked the fellow what the 
problem was. The man replied,
"I have a flat tarr."

In response the passerby asked, 
"But what's with the flowers?

The man responded, "When you 
break down the State of North 
Carolina tells you to put flares 
in the front and flares in the 
back! I never did understand 
it neither cause the tarr is still 
flat."

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