Wednesday

Please Report Your Cruel Neighbor!


UNC Science Class!



"Can you spell "water" for 
me?" The UNC science 
professor asked his class.

H I J K L M N 0 answered 

one student after everyone 
else hesitated.

The prof. look puzzled. 

"That doesn't spell "water.'"

"Sure it does," said the 

student. "It's all the 
letters from H to O."

Prof Howdy's Wife On His Day Off!


A Letter To My Blog Friends!





Dear Friends,


For a couple years I've been 

blaming it on lack of sleep 
and too much pressure from
my job, but now I found out 
the real reason: I'm tired 
because I'm overworked.


The population of this 
country is over 237 million.
104 million are retired. 
That leaves 133 million 
to do the work. There are 
85 million in school, which 
leaves 48 million to do the
work.



Of this there are 29 million 

employed by the federal 
government, leaving 19 
million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the Armed 

Forces, which leaves 16.2 
million to do the work.

Take from the total the 

14,800,000 people who 
work for State and City 
Governments and that 
leaves 1.4 million to do 
the work.

At any given time there are 

188,000 people in hospitals, 
leaving 1,212,000 to do the 
work. Now, there are 
1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people 
to do the work. You and me. 
And you're sitting at your 
computer reading jokes!!!

Dr. Howdy

Shopping Near UNC Campus!



I was shopping with my roommate, 
and I saw a humorous button that said, 
"It might look like I'm doing nothing, 
but on a cellular level, I'm quite busy."

I showed it to her, and her response 
was, "Oh, I should buy that one, I'm 
always talking on mine."

Friday

Prof Howdy In His New Shoes!



MORE FUNNY VIDEOS!!!

As Escolhas Da Universidade!



The aspiring psychiatrists from various colleges
were attending their
first seminar on emotional
extremes.

"Just to establish some parameters," said the
professor, to the
student from Vanderbilt, "What
is the opposite of joy?"


"Sadness," said the student.

"And the opposite of depression?" he asked
of the young lady from FSU.


"Elation," said she.  


"And you sir," he said to the young man from 

UNC, "how about the opposite of woe?" 

 The Tar Heel* replied, "Sir, I believe that would
be giddy-up."





*Please see "comments"
for additional pertinent
& germane information.


UNC Class!



UNC* Prof: Use "defeat," "defense" and "detail"
           
in a sentence.



UNC* Student: The rabbit cut across the field,
          
and defeat
went over defense before detail.

*Please see "comments"





Chapel Hill Restaurant!



I once went with friends to
eat at the fanciest restaurant
in Chapel Hill.* One friend was
about halfway through his meal
when he took a hard look at the
potato, called the waitress over
and said, "This potato is bad!"

To our utter amazement,
the waitress picked the
potato up, smacked it,
put it back on the plate,
then told my friend,
"If that potato causes
any more trouble, just
let me know."


*Please see "comments"
for additional pertinent
& germane information.


1983 Vs. 2013 In Technology!


Big Kitty!


‎'Skinny' the 41-Pound Cat Up for Adoption - Is Rupert the cat the world's biggest kitty? Already weighing in at about 20 pounds, the giant breed Maine coon cat is three times bigger than the average cat. Rupert has also been named cat-of-the-year three times in Australia according to the Daily Mail.

He Breaks The Law Everyday!



Aerodynamically, 
the bumble bee
shouldn't be able 

to fly, but the
bumble bee doesn't 
know it so it goes 
on flying anyway.



After all, He's famous for 
great and unexpected acts; 
there's no end to His surprises. 
He gives rain, for instance, 
across the wide earth, sends 
water to irrigate the fields. 

- Job 5:9&10



Understanding English!

                                                   #ProfHowdy

Understanding Women!




When your wife says, "What do you think?" she is not asking for YOUR opinion. She is asking for HER opinion, from your mouth.

A Note From Long Ago!



For in the Gospel a righteousness which God ascribes is revealed, both springing from faith and leading to faith [disclosed through the way of faith that arouses to more faith]. As it is written, The man who through faith is just and upright shall live and shall live by faith.

For God’s [holy] wrath and indignation are revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who in their wickedness repress and hinder the truth and make it inoperative.

For that which is known about God is evident to them and made plain in their inner consciousness, because God [Himself] has shown it to them.

For ever since the creation of the world His invisible nature and attributes, that is, His eternal power and divinity, have been made intelligible and clearly discernible in and through the things that have been made (His handiworks). So [men] are without excuse [altogether without any defense or justification],





Because when they knew and recognized Him as God, they did not honor and glorify Him as God or give Him thanks. But instead they became futile and godless in their thinking [with vain imaginings, foolish reasoning, and stupid speculations] and their senseless minds were darkened.

Claiming to be wise, they became fools [professing to be smart, they made simpletons of themselves].

And by them the glory and majesty and excellence of the immortal God were exchanged for and represented by images, resembling mortal man and birds and beasts and reptiles.

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their [own] hearts to sexual impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves [abandoning them to the degrading power of sin],





Because they exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, Who is blessed forever! Amen (so be it).

For this reason God gave them over and abandoned them to vile affections and degrading passions. For their women exchanged their natural function for an unnatural and abnormal one,

And the men also turned from natural relations with women and were set ablaze (burning out, consumed) with lust for one another—men committing shameful acts with men and suffering in their own bodies and personalities the inevitable consequences and penalty of their wrong-doing and going astray, which was [their] fitting retribution.

And so, since they did not see fit to acknowledge God or approve of Him or consider Him worth the knowing, God gave them over to a base and condemned mind to do things not proper or decent but loathsome,

Until they were filled (permeated and saturated) with every kind of unrighteousness, iniquity, grasping and covetous greed, and malice. [They were] full of envy and jealousy, murder, strife, deceit and treachery, ill will and cruel ways. [They were] secret backbiters and gossipers,

Slanderers, hateful to and hating God, full of insolence, arrogance, [and] boasting; inventors of new forms of evil, disobedient and undutiful to parents.

[They were] without understanding, conscienceless and faithless, heartless and loveless [and] merciless.

Though they are fully aware of God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do them themselves but approve and applaud others who practice them.




Heaven's Legal System! (Understanding Why Bad Things Happen - School Shootings & Natural Disasters!)



Every country & every kingdom in History, including those of today must by necessity have a functioning legal system.  The Kingdom of God is no exception except the latter is without fault & justice is always fair though often delayed for various preordained reasons. Additionally, there is a legal system of the Kingdom of Hell. The latter two are constantly in conflict & clash everywhere constantly & effect each of our daily lives & relationships.

The first legal system - The Kingdom of God - began before time was activated & in what is sometimes labeled Eternity Past.






The only record of the beginnings of these two latter kingdoms are found in the first Book of the Bible - namely Genesis although some details are sprinkled elsewhere is Scripture. 


At one time there was only One Kingdom - the Kingdom of God - but at some point before our Planet was created a rebellion started with its leader being one named Lucifer - the most powerful & beautiful of all God's Created Creatures. He swept 1/3 of all the kingdom's citizens into a rebellion against the King who was in fact the Almighty Triune God of the Bible. The Bible names these Rebellious Citizens as Fallen Angels who were also named Demons.




Here begins the History of two Kingdoms at war with each other with the possibility of only One Winner but the outcome is never in doubt even though storm clouds must be constantly on the horizon since the division occurred until the end when the Kingdom of Heaven triumphs & our world is right again permanently with evil never possible again.


After the Great Rebellion, our Universe & Planet Earth were created in 6 (24 hour) days by the Spoken Command of this Creator God - the King of Kings! Lucifer was then cast from Heaven to Earth where he set his kingdom into motion!




Initially, Planet Earth was a Paradise with the first humans - our Parents - enjoying total freedom & luxury. In this paradise was no unhappiness, sadness, illness, sickness, death, etc. The King of Kings gave these first two humans complete authority over their perfect planet with no environmental problems possible.


Lucifer, the Dark Lord, knew that to conquer our planet he must trick these first two humans over to his side through lies, deceits & just one temptation. Just one was possible for the King of Kings (God) had placed a special TREE in the center of this paradise with one warning: never, never eat the fruit from this tree! Adultery  murder, lies were impossible here - just one evil: eating this fruit.




Lucifer entered into the most beautiful animal in this Paradise Garden to tempt first the Woman and she the Man! She ate the fruit after hearing Lucifer's lies and then she gave the fruit to her husband. If he had never partaken of this fruit, she only would have died for her sins & evil would not have continued. Had only the man taken the fruit & eaten it, the woman would still live today but unfortunately both partook, the Fall occurred & sin & evil from the Kingdom of Hell began bringing with it: rape, murder, pain, disease, sorrow, unhappiness, hatred, etc. with the greatest evil of all being death! God held the man most responsible.






Because the man & woman were the King of Kings' initial creation, they were physically & mentally the most magnificent ever of human kind. Their intelligence, athletic ability, talents, etc. would have been unequaled ever again in the history of our species. The woman's beauty & charm would never be matched again - not even in Hollywood. The man would never be matched in natural ability on any athletic event (including the NBA, NFL, MLB, etc.) or any Institutes of Higher Learning (including Harvard, Yale & Oxford)!





Now that the first man had fallen to Lucifer's vile temptations, he & all of his descendants were fallen - subject to sin, death & sorrow! Each child born into our Planet inherited a fallen condition known as Original Sin! From this sprang all of our world's troubles: war, rape, murder, child abuse, crime & even all manner of natural disasters. Lucifer even convinced most that the King of Kings was to blame for these troubles.


Fortunately for all, the King of Kings had a perfect infallible legal plan to remedy our Planet's Fatal Future. His Impeccable Plan began immediately to fall into place with the prediction found in Genesis 3:15: "I will put enmity Between you and the woman, And between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, And you shall bruise His heel." This foretold that Jesus would be bruised in His heel by Lucifer - a non-fatal wound - while Lucifer would receive a mortal wound to his head by the seed of the woman. This seed could only be accomplished by the Virgin Birth sone 4000 years later.




Now Fast Forward about 4000 years to a relatively unknown city in Israel named Bethlehem. The King of Kings (Creator God) is finalizing His perfect plan for all mankind in the form of a young girl (probably 13-15 in age) who has never known a man sexually (virgin) and her fiancé named Joseph (probably late 20s to early 30s - common by necessity in that time) who is a carpenter by trade and a very honorable & upstanding man.


From a legal standpoint, both of these must be directly descended from King David even though their nation - Israel - is currently ruled by the Roman Empire (with its own legal system) and there has been no king in their country for centuries. Both the young Virgin named Mary & Joseph are visited by an Angel from the King of Kings and informed of the message that Mary will soon conceive a Child who will be both fully human yet fully Divine!





The legal system of Rome unknowingly dictates that this couple must travel a long distance at that time to comply with their official requirements. Unknown to them, this is exactly as God's legal requirements (written centuries before) required also!


The Babies Mother must be a Virgin as required so that He be born sinless and not affected by any man's seed that would give Him the genetic inheritance of a Sin Nature from his forefather Adam.   






Being born sinless & living a perfect life without even one sin qualified Jesus to be a substitute for the sins of many. Being born of the Jewish Royal Family qualified Him to be Israel's Rightful King as well as their Messiah (and the world's). Both were legal requirements of Heaven's Legal System.


God's simple legal plan required punishment for all of Man's Sins throughout all of History which began when the Kingdom of Darkness (Hell) usurped the ruling authority from our planet. There is no other possible solution to this problem. Because God declared to Adam that the Day that he ate of the Fruit of the Tree that He would surely die - Because God cannot allow any sin to be ignored by virtue of the fact that He is a Just God - Fortunately for us, He is also a Loving God. No Good Works that we can do can make up for even one sin so we all needed a Substitute Lamb to die for each of us. This offer from the King of Kings (Creator God of the Bible) is and was open to any & all of our First Parent's Children who ever live if they will simply accept His one Gracious Offer. There is NONE other!







Four Important Things To KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews,
Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians,
Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist,
French, etc.) have sinned & fall
short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1)
are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation
from God, & damnation) but the Gift
(free & at no charge to you) of God 
(Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through
(in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of the
Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly
prized the world (Americans, Muslims,
Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans,
Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons,
Methodist, French, etc.) that
He even gave up His only begotten
(unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living)
believes  (trust in, relies on, clings to,
depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal  (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH,
& THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American,
Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist,
Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French,
etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with
GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice -
(Rev. 3:20)          


{Please note that church membership,
baptism, doing good things, etc. are not
requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}


Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad
is the road that leads to destruction
(Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it.  But small
is the gate and narrow the road that
leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, 
forever with God), and only a few find it.  

To find out how you can begin 
a personal relationship with 
Jesus Christ, please call:

1-888-NEED-HIM 

+++

Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?       

http://everystudent.com/menus/intl.html


But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up, 
that I may show My power in you, and that My 

Name may be declared in all the earth.  - Ex 9:16

Thursday

Medical Problem!




A man rushed into the doctor's office 
and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm 
shrinking!" The doctor calmly
responded, "Now, settle down. 
You'll just have to be a little patient."

Wednesday

UNC Prof Accident!



A UNC professor with two 
badly burned ears went to
the emergency
room for 

medical treatment.

"What happened" asked 

the doctor.

"Well, my wife was ironing 

while I was watching the
ball game
on TV," began 

the man.

"She put the hot iron near 

the telephone and when the
phone
rang, I answered the iron."


The doctor nodded, "But what 

happened to the other ear?"

"Well, no sooner had I hung up," 

said the man, "when the same 
guy called again."

UNC Bar Story!




A UNC grad walks into a bar with
a slab
of asphalt under his arm
and says:
"A root beer please,
and how about
one for the road."







The Bible claims to be the Word
of the only true God. In addition
to historical, archaeological, and
scientific proofs, there are numerous
internal proofs. No such evidences
exist for other "sacred writings."

The Bible was written during 1,600
years by 40 prophets, most of
whom lived in diverse cultures,
at different times in history, yet
who never contradict but comple -
ment each other. For the Qur'an,
Muslims must take the word of
Muhammad, just as the Book
of Mormon rests solely upon
Joseph Smith's word. But every
biblical prophet is confirmed
by 39 other prophets.

- - Dave Hunt




God designed humans to want to believe in something.
That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
in everything -- including Little Green Men.

- - Chuck Colson




Dear Professor Howdy,

Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
all need...please keep up the great works!!!
Type atcha later...

God bless you,

Phil H
WI



Dear Dr. Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be
a pack of wolves!!**

SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY
MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE
MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED
TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW.
INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was
sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about
you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have
seen. The best to you.

S. P.

*Another name for UNC.
** UNC's archrival - NCSU.

Monday

UNC Cheerleader!




Why did the UNC* cheerleader 
bury his flashlight?

His batteries were dead.



*Please see "comments" for
additional pertinent & germane
information.


Shopping For Wife!



I heard my wife mention one 
morning while getting ready
for Church, "I sure need some 
new stockings." When she went 
into the bakery on the way home 
that afternoon, I spied a clothing 
store next door. So, I thought I 
would surprise her and went in 
to buy her some new stockings. 

"Can I help you," the saleslady asked.



"Yes," I replied. "I would like to 
get some stockings for my wife 
please."


"Sheer?" she asked.


His reply located in "comments".


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