Thursday

Learn More About Prof Howdy! #ProfHowdy



Learn More About: #ProfHowdy!




***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?! 




Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way
through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail
address. We welcome all our great readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your
weekly entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic 
but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious
and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....


'Thought & Humor' has been  read in all 50 States, 
all 230 Countries, 7 Continents, Oxford, Cambridge, 
every Ivy League School & all major American 
Universities including UNC!!! 


Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997 
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture!



Permission is hereby granted for you to change all 
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought 
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution 
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another 
of your choice from the list below:

1) French university students 
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring 
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.


Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor', 
please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......





Dear Howdy,
Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate 
for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we 
all need...please keep up the great works!!!
Type atcha later...
God bless you,
Phil H
WI


Dear Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both 
MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department. 
But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out 
of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be 
a pack of wolves!!**


SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY 
MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE 
MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED 
TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW. 
INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was 
sent to me by a friend,  so I really didn't "hear about 
you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has 
come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have 
seen. The best to you. 


S. P.
*Another name for UNC.
** UNC's archrival - NCSU.

Tuesday

UNC Power Outage!



A wealthy UNC Grad reported the following:

I had a power outage at my house this morning and my PC, Laptop, TV, DVD, IPad and my new surround sound music system were all shut down.

Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat.

To top it off, it was raining so I couldn't go for a walk, bike or run.

The garage door opener needs electricity so I couldn't go anywhere in the truck.

I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remember that this also needed power, so I sits down and talks with my wife for a few hours.

She sure seems like a nice person.

Answer Please!



What kind of lights did 
Noah have on the ark???


*Answer is located in "comments"
for your convenience & felicity but
no machination or peeking allowed.




A Man Walks Into A Bar...




A man walks into a bar, 
he sees two pieces of 
meat hanging from the 
ceiling. He asks the barman, 
"Why are those two pieces of
meat hanging from the ceiling?"

The barman replies, "It's 

a competition which we 
run every night. If you 
can jump up and touch 
the meat, you get free 
drinks for the whole night."

"Great!" says the man, 

"but what if I can't
reach them?"

"Then you have to buy 

all the drinks for everyone 
all night," the barman answers.

"Do you want to try?"


"No, but thanks anyway."


"Why not?" asks the barman.


"The steaks are too high."







UNC Pizza Stop!



A UNC grad stopped by a pizza 
shop one night and ordered 
medium pizza.The Italian owner 
asked "How would you like that 
cut, in six or four pieces?"

After some thought, the UNC 
student answered, "Better cut 
it in four, I don't think I can 
eat six pieces!"



http://www.taecanet.com/chinese/img/pics/girls_laugh.jpg


*Above demonstrates what intelligent
beautiful girls do when you send them
'T & H' jokes if they esteem you!!! 100%
Veracious - Why wrastle with the hassle!!!
Scientifically Proven - Results Plighted!!!


Google: T3H7P12H

#ProfHowdy




Riddles!



1) What is as tall as a house
and round as a cup
and all the kings horses
could not draw it up?


2) This is an unusual paragraph:


How quickly can you find what is so uncommon
about it? It looks so ordinary that you may think
nothing is odd about it until you match it with
most paragraphs this long. If you put your mind
to it, and study it, you will find out. Do it without
any coaching. Go to work and try your skill at
figuring it out. Good Luck!



*Answers are below!











1) A well
2) It does not contain the most common
letter in the alphabet. The letter "e".

Recent Government Study!



A new government study has just
discovered that Democrats are
descendants of the above species
and that evolution is true for them.


All others are created equal and
endowed by their Creator with
inalienable rights - amount those
are Life, Liberty & the Pursuit
of Happiness.




(Explains a lot doesn't it?)


For I Will Pour Water...







Humor Cartoons!














Funny Political Cartoon - Or Are They!













Monday

Big City Visit!




A UNC grad was visiting the 

big city for the first time.

She checks into her hotel 

and the bellboy takes her
bags. She follows the boy, 
and as the door closes,
she looks around and 
shakes her fist at him.

"Look here -- I may be 
straight from UNC, but 
that don't mean I'm stupid! 
I paid *good* money and 
this room won't do at ALL! 

It's too small, there's no 
ventilation, no TV -- there's
not even a BED!"

"Ma'am, this is the elevator."




Google: T3H7P12H

#ProfHowdy

A UNC Grad At Work!



"Don't worry, I can 
work late tonight,"
Joe told his boss!  

"My wife's gone for 
a two-week vacation 
in the Caribbean."

"Jamaica?" his boss 
asked.

"No, it was her idea."



UNC Bride!




A new young UNC grad calls her 

mother in tears.

She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate 
what I do for him."


"Now, now," her mother comforted, 
"I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."


"No, mother," you don't understand.

"I bought a frozen turkey roll and 

he yelled and screamed at me about 
the price!"


"Well, the nerve of that lousy 
cheapskate!" says her mom. 
"Those turkey rolls are only 
a few dollars."


"No, mother it wasn't the price 
of the turkey, it was the airplane 
ticket."

"Airplane ticket.... What did you need 

an airplane ticket for?"


"Well mother, when I went to fix it, 
I looked at the directions on the 
package and it said -

'Prepare from a frozen state,' 

so I flew to Alaska!"



Dr. Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture

Sanity Statistics!


The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.


Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

I Know Your PIN #



Friend : What are you looking at?

UNC Grad : I know your PIN #, hee, hee.

Friend : Alright, what is my PIN # if you saw it?

UNC Grad : Four asterisks!

Doctor's Visit!



A man went to visit his doctor. 
"Doctor, my arm hurts bad.
Can you check it out please?", 
the man pleads.

The doctor rolls up the man's 
sleeve and suddenly hears
the arm talk.

"Hello Doctor," says the arm, 
"could you lend me twenty
bucks please? I'm desperate."

The doctor says, "Aha! I see 
the problem. Your arm is broke!"

* Are You Ready???




Some scoff at this prophecy of Jesus 
but the One who came to earth - the 
God Man - said it would happen and 
the signs are out there. Christians
discuss the timing but it will emanate 
soon!


***

There's a Goldmine Of Romantic Music
that is in the process of being LOST
forever. Music written in the first half
of the Last Century offers Romance,
Beauty & Great Lyrics that incorporates
a Happy, Uplifting & Positive Worldview
that is quite rare today.

The Music in this 15 Minute Video offers
you unrealized Romantic Beauty yet with
a Contemporary Story that your mind
composes as it views the High Definition
Photographs and Captivating Videos!

This Elegant & Enticing Music was first
recorded on 33 1/3 Phonographs, transferred
to Cassette Tape, then C.D.s and finally
to my Computer so the quality is not
paradigmatic.

Perhaps one day, others will discover
this Enchanting Treasure and this music
will become more available on the Internet.
Even better would be if new Mantovanis,
Percy Faiths, Norman Luboffs, Arthur
Fiedlers, etc. would discover and record
with a fresh talent true to the original
intent these Romantic and Rapturous
Delights!

As the alluring & angelic music from the past
swells, compliments, and enhances each HD
Picture/Video with melodious beauty, the Holy
Spirit - when allowed - overwhelms the marvelous
as well as the mundane in our continuance and
changes our existence (no matter our sordid past)
by transforming our very lives, beings & personhood
along with our status with the One True God of the
Bible, when we follow this path:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews,
Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians,
Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist,
French, etc.) have sinned & fall
short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1)
are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation
from God, & damnation) but the Gift
(free & at no charge to you) of God
(Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through
(in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of the
Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly
prized the world (Americans, Muslims,
Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans,
Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons,
Methodist, French, etc.) that
He even gave up His only begotten
(unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living)
believes (trust in, relies on, clings to,
depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH,
& THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American,
Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist,
Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French,
etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with
GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)


{Please note that church membership,
baptism, doing good things, etc. are not
requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}


Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad
is the road that leads to destruction
(Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small
is the gate and narrow the road that
leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it.

Listen To These Messages by Rankin Wilbourne:
http://pacificcrossroads.org/category/teaching-series

Listen to Tim Keller speak at Google Headquarters:
http://youtu.be/Kxup3OS5ZhQ

+++

Our Blogs:

http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com
http://professors-funny-videos.blogspot.com

Infidel!








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