New Dogs For UNC Grad!

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A girl was visiting her friend who 
was a recent  UNC grad & who had 
acquired two new dogs, and asked 
her what their names were.

The girl responded by saying that 

one was named Rolex and one was 
named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard 

of someone naming dogs like that?

"HELLOOOooo," answered the 

UNC grad. "They're watch dogs!"


Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor'
and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) Senate Dinosaurs
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring

#UNC WatchDog #UNCFriend #ProfHowdy

UNC Freshmen Class!

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Sandwich Board!

UNC student on left!
McDonalds in Bulgaria.

One UNC student noticed 
another UNC student
up and down 

the street, wearing a 
sandwich board that 
read "Free Big Mac!"

Strolling over with a 
look of concern, the 
first UNC student asked, 
"Why? What'd he do?"

*Above demonstrates what intelligent
beautiful girls do when you send them
'T & H' jokes if they esteem you!!! 100%
Veracious - Why wrastle with the hassle!!!
Scientifically Proven - Results Plighted!!!

Chapel Hill Inn!

My friend Michelle was working 
at the Chapel Hill Inn when she 
answered a call for information 
about the inn. After finishing
the conversation, Michelle stepped 
away from the desk.

When the phone rang again, 
a UNC student intern took 
the call.

"I forgot to ask something." 
The caller said, "How are the
rooms appointed?"

"Well, six of them are appointed 
west," the student said, "and 
the rest are appointed east."

We're 'T&H':

What's In A Name?


Pulled Over By The Police!

A UNC student is driving around 
in her red sports car that her Dad 
purchased for her and suddenly 
gets pulled over by the Chapel 
Hill Police.

The policeman approaches the 

car holding the ticket and pen
ready and says: "Young lady, 

you've been driving almost
double the speed limit. Give 

me your name please."

"Hmmph!" - says the UNC 

student looking very irritated.
"And what are people supposed 

to call me then?"

#ChapelHill #UNC #SpeedingTicket #ProfHowdy

UNC Traffic Stop!

Manning a speed trap one day, two Chapel Hill 
cops stopped a UNC* student and told her she 
was going 15 MPH over the posted speed limit.

"Yes, I know," she hurriedly explained. "But I'm 
very low on gas, and I'm trying to reach the next 
petro station before I run out."

*Please see "comments" for
additional pertinent & germane
information concerning UNC.


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Tallest Dam!

The world's tallest dam is the partly-constructed Rogun Dam in Tajikistan, a tiny country in the jagged mountains between China and Afghanistan. At 1100 feet tall (336 meters, about as high as a 100-story building) this earth and rock dam overtops its nearby neighbor the Nurek Dam, which is the world's second tallest at 985 feet (300 meters).

The unfinished Rogun Dam was severely damaged by floods in the early 1990s and is currently undergoing major repairs, so its reservoir is not yet filled. The completed Nurek Dam produces electricity and water for irrigation.

The third tallest dam is Switzerland's Grand Dixence, at 285 meters. The tallest dam in the United States is the Oroville Dam in northern California, at 755 feet (230 meters). Oroville is 16th on the world list.

A Letter To Friends!

Dear Friends,

Salvation is found in no one else, for there

is no other name under heaven given to men
by which we must be saved. When they saw
the courage of Peter and John and realized
that they were unschooled, ordinary men,
they were astonished and they took note
that these men had been with Jesus.



P.S. Please see "comments" for more info.


Humor Cartoons!

"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln

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Funny Political Cartoons - Or Are They?


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Yours To Enjoy!!!


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Great Politically Conservative Commentaries:




Charles Hurt!!!


Sad? Lonely? Worried?



More Help:

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It's Very Biblical To Compare Christianity

To Romance & Vice Versa! (Analogy
Doesn't Work For Other Religions)
Classical Music fits beautifully
into your everyday life...

...An Attempt to Incorporate Timeless

Music into your Contemporary Scene...

This Music with Earphones on your

iPad, iPhone or iPod transcends
into pleasurable dream videos...

Music Videos are defined

as theater of the mind!

Create your dreams now...

You know how!

Listen Now!!!

Measuring Intelligence!

Why do UNC students 
put rulers on their foreheads?

They want to measure their intelligence.

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Dangerous Horse Ride!

A UNC student had a near death 
experience when she went horseback 
riding the other day. Everything was 
going fine until the horse started 
bouncing out of control.

She tried with all her might to hang 
on, but was thrown off.

Just when things could not possibly 

get worse, her foot got caught in the 
stirrup. When this happened, she fell 
head first to the ground.

Her head continued to bounce harder 
as the horse did not stop or even slow 

Just as she was giving up hope and 
losing consciousness, the Walmart 
manager happened to walk by and 
unplugged the ride...

UNC Business Trip!

A UNC grad took a business 
trip to New York. When he 
 arrived, the hotel clerk asked 
him a riddle.

"My mom and dad had a baby. 
It wasn't my brother. It wasn't 
 my sister. Who was it?"

The grad thought long and hard, 
but eventually gave up. "I don't 
know, who was it?"

The hotel clerk responded, 
"It was me!"

The UNC grad thought that 
was hilarious. He couldn't wait
to get home and tell this funny 
joke to his family and friends 
in Chapel Hill.

When he arrived home they met 
him at the airport and he asked 
them: "My mom and dad had a 
baby. It wasn't my brother. It 
wasn't my sister. Who was it?"

His friends thought and thought 
about it until they gave up.

So he told them, "It was a hotel 

clerk I met in New York."

UNC Student!

A UNC* student walked up to 
the university librarian to
check out a book entitled 

When the librarian asked 
him if it was for his mother,
he answered 'no.'

"Then why are you checking it out?"

"Because," said the student 
confidently, "I just started
collecting moths last month 
for my biology project !"

*Please see "comments"
for additional pertinent
& germane information.

A Very Brave Man!

A son asked his mother the following question: ' Mom, why are wedding dresses white? '

The mother looks at her son and replies: ' Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

Dad why are wedding dresses white?

The father looks at his son in surprise and says: 'Son, all household appliances come in white.'


Garage Problems!

Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots -- 
outdoor gear of all kinds was piled 
high in the garage. One day I found 
my wife staring at the mess. "I hope 
I die first, so I don't have to get rid 
of all this," she sighed.

"Look on the bright side," I suggested. 
"If I go first, you can put an ad in 
the paper. When all the men come 
by to check out the stuff, you can 
pick out a replacement for me."

Still staring at the pile, she said, 
"Nah. Whoever would want all 
this stuff wouldn't be my type."

New Pasta Diet!

There's a new pasta diet -

Just walk pasta bakery, walk
pasta candy store, and walk
pasta ice cream store ---
without stopping...

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UNC Baseball!

Q. Why does it take longer to 
run from second base to third 
base than from first base to second?

A. Because there is a short stop 
between second and third base.

Trivial Pursuit At UNC!

A UNC student was playing 
Trivial Pursuit one night. 

It was her turn, she rolled 

the dice and she landed on 
"Science & Nature".

Her question was, 

"If you are in a vacuum
and someone calls your 
name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time 

and then asked, "Is it 
on or off?"

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