Monday

Can You Tell A Book By Its Author?

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French Population.....................Francis Crowded
Downpour! .................................Wayne Dwops
Cloning .......................................Ima Dubble
Irish Flooring .............................Lynn O'Leum
Personal House Construction ....Bill Jerome Home



Unemployed ...............................Anita Job
Off to Market ..............................Tobias A. Pigg
Holmes Does it Again .................Scott Linyard Home
Alone IV .....................................Eddie Buddyhome
Carroll .......................................Alison Wonderland Leo



Tolstoy ......................................Warren Peace Neither
Borrower ...................................Nora Lender Bee
Chef ...........................................Sue Flay
Tight Situation ...........................Leah Tard
Why Cars Stop ..........................M. T. Tank



Wind in the Willows ..................Russell Ingleaves
Look Younger ...........................Fay Slift
Mountain Climbing ..................Andover Hand
It's Springtime! ........................Theresa Green
No! ............................................Kurt Reply

Driving Through LA!



Two UNC* grads were driving 
through Louisiana.

As they were
approaching the 

 town of Natchitoches, they 
started arguing about the 
pronunciation of the name. 

They argued back and forth 

until they stopped for lunch. 

 As they stood at the counter, 

one UNC grad asked the manager, 
"Before we order, could you please
settle an argument for us? Would 

you please pronounce where we 
are,...very slowly?"

The manager leaned over the counter 
and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."


*Please see "comments" for
additional pertinent & germane
information.


Coach Said What?



Verloren Auf Nachtisch!

Making A Woman!



So the LORD God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam's ribs and closed up the place from which he had taken it. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam. "At last!" Adam exclaimed. "She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called 'woman,' because she was taken out of a man." This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one!



The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved. - Matthew Henry

Recent Scientific Sex Survey!




Which City Has The Fastest Internet?




ANSWER!!!


A Letter To Friends!



Dear Friends,

The day of the Lord will come 

like a thief. The heavens will 
disappear with a roar; the 
elements will be destroyed
by fire,
and the earth and 

everything in it will be laid 
bare.

Since
everything will be 

destroyed in this way, 
what kind of people 
ought you to be? 

You ought to live holy 

and godly lives. 

Sincerely,
Pete


P.S. Please see "comments" for additional pertinent
& germane information.


Reason For Happiness!




♥♥♥ One Week Of Beautiful Easy Listening Music!




Go to Sleep to it...
 

Plays for days!


Dine with it...


Use it for Background music...


Put the baby to sleep with it when played softly, 


Relax with it...


Or be Nostalgic with it!


Play it in your office softly...


(Click Small "Shuffle" Symbol on right on YouTube to vary music selection!)


Saturday

UNC Shoe Store!


UNC Shoe Store in 'Thought & Humor' by Professor Dr. Howdy.

A UNC student walks into a shoe store,
and tries
on a pair of shoes.


"How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.


"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the student.


The assistant promptly bends down 

and has a look at the shoes and at the 
student's feet.

"Try pulling the tongue out. That 

should help." the clerk says.

"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth."


Humor Cartoons!














'Thought & Humor'
has been read in all 50 States,
all 230 Countries, 7 Continents, Oxford, Cambridge,
every Ivy League School & all major American
Universities including UNC!!!




Husband Shopping!



A wife asked her UNC husband, 
"Honey, could you please run 
into the store and get a carton 
of milk, and if they have eggs, 
get a dozen."

A while later the husband 

returned with a case of quart 
milk cartons.

Staring incredulously at the 

12-pack case of milk, his wife 
asked, "Why did you buy so 
much milk?"

Her UNC husband said, 

"They had eggs."

Office Hours!




Sarah's professors tell her 
there's no such thing as 
absolute truth. Professor 
Theophilus says even they 
don't really believe that...


DETAILS!!!


Google: T3H7P12H

or #ProfHowdy

Think About This Today!






Spiritual Warfare! Going On Near You!



The night scene of the quiet street was a collage of stark blue moonlight and bottomless shadows. But one shadow did not stir with the wind as did the tree shadows, and neither did it stand still as did the building shadows. It crawled, quivered, moved along the street toward the church, while any light it crossed seemed to sink into its blackness, as if it were a breach torn in space. But this shadow had a shape, an animated, creaturelike shape, and as it neared the church sounds could be heard: the scratching of claws along the ground, the faint rustling of breeze-blown, membranous wings wafting just above the creature’s shoulders.


It had arms and it had legs, but it seemed to move without them, crossing the street and mounting the front steps of the church. Its leering, bulbous eyes reflected the stark blue light of the full moon with their own jaundiced glow. The gnarled head protruded from hunched shoulders, and wisps of rancid red breath seethed in labored hisses through rows of jagged fangs.


It either laughed or it coughed—the wheezes puffing out from deep within its throat could have been either. From its crawling posture it reared up on its legs and looked about the quiet neighborhood, the black, leathery jowls pulling back into a hideous death-mask grin. It moved toward the front door. The black hand passed through the door like a spear through liquid; the body hobbled forward and penetrated the door, but only halfway.


Suddenly, as if colliding with a speeding wall, the creature was knocked backward and into a raging tumble down the steps, the glowing red breath tracing a corkscrew trail through the air.


With an eerie cry of rage and indignation, it gathered itself up off the sidewalk and stared at the strange door that would not let it pass through. Then the membranes on its back began to billow, enfolding great bodies of air, and it flew with a roar headlong at the door, through the door, into the foyer—and into a cloud of white hot light.


The creature screamed and covered its eyes, then felt itself being grabbed by a huge, powerful vise of a hand. In an instant it was hurling through space like a rag doll, outside again, forcefully ousted.


The wings hummed in a blur as it banked sharply in a flying turn and headed for the door again, red vapors chugging in dashes and streaks from its nostrils, its talons bared and poised for attack, a ghostly siren of a scream rising in its throat. Like an arrow through a target, like a bullet through a board, it streaked through the door—


And instantly felt its insides tearing loose.


There was an explosion of suffocating vapor, one final scream, and the flailing of withering arms and legs. Then there was nothing at all except the ebbing stench of sulfur and the two strangers, suddenly inside the church.


The big blond man replaced a shining sword as the white light that surrounded him faded away.

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