Friday

Bad Cholesterol Warning!



Bad cholesterol is the kind that
clogs arteries, shoplifts lipstick
and lies under oath.

4 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their
lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their
respective governments to allow them to go to the United States to study
the bears in Yellowstone. Finally their request was granted, and they
immediately flew to NY and on West to Yellowstone. They reported to the
ranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was
too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was
their only chance, and finally the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech
were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days
they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists.

The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely
ravaged, with no sign of the missing men. They followed the trail of a
male and a female bear. They found the female and decided they must kill the
animal to find out if she had eaten the scientists because they feared an international
incident. They killed the female animal and opened the stomach to find
the remains of the Russian. One ranger turned to the other and said, "You
know what this means, don't you?"

The other ranger responded, "Of course............
The Czech is in the male."

The Professor said...

Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Professor Howdy said...

Take me away with you! Let's run off together! An elopement with my King-Lover! We'll celebrate, we'll sing, we'll make great music. Yes! For your love is better than vintage wine. Everyone loves you - of course! And why not? Tell me where you're working - I love you so much - Tell me where you're tending your flocks, where you let them rest at noontime. Why should I be the one left out, outside the orbit of your tender care? - Song Of Solomon

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Professor Howdy said...

There's nobody living right, not even one, nobody who knows the score, nobody alert for God. They've all taken the wrong turn; they've all wandered down blind alleys. No one's living right; I can't find a single one. Their throats are gaping graves, their tongues slick as mud slides. Every word they speak is tinged with poison. They open their mouths and pollute the air. They race for the honor of sinner-of-the-year, litter the land with heartbreak and ruin, Don't know the first thing about living with others. They never give God the time of day. This makes it clear, doesn't it, that whatever is written in these Scriptures is not what God says about others but to us to whom these Scriptures were addressed in the first place! And it's clear enough, isn't it, that we're sinners, every one of us, in the same sinking boat with everybody else? Our involvement with God's revelation doesn't put us right with God. What it does is force us to face our complicity in everyone else's sin. But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in Him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity He put us in right standing with Himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where He always wanted us to be. And He did it by means of Jesus Christ.

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