Qantas Humor!

After every flight, Quanta's 
pilots fill out a form, called 
a "gripe sheet," which tells 
mechanics about problems 
with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the 

problems, document their
repairs on the form, and 
then pilots review the gripe
sheets before the next flight. 

Never let it be said that 
ground crews lack a sense 
of humor...

*Please see "comments" for their
"gripe sheet" humor!

God designed humans to want to believe in something.
That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
in everything -- including Little Green Men.

- - Chuck Colson


Professor Howdy said...

Remember it takes a college
degree to fly an airplane but
only a high school diploma to
fix one. Reassurance for those
of us who fly routinely in our

After every flight, Quanta's pilots fill
out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which
tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems,
document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets
before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack
a sense of humor. Here are some maintenance
complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked
with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked
with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Quanta's is the only major airline that
has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces
a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last.................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something
with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Tks: Jim H. for sending...

Professor Howdy said...

-- November 1,1999 - Walter Jerry Payton
Payton was a Football running back for the Chicago Bears.
He most notably known as one of the National Football
League's most productive players, setting various records
during his thirteen year playing career. In 1993, Walter
Payton was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
After he was diagnosed with a liver disease, he started
a foundation. Afterwards he state of Illinois witnessed a
dramatic skyrocket in organ donations.

Anonymous said...


That's been around a lot. Originally, it was the Air Force. Then it has changed airlines a couple times.

Is certainly funny though.

Bob - Tx - Retired airline pilot

Professor Howdy said...

I write this to you who believe in the Son of God, so that you may know you have eternal life. - 1 John 5:13 NLT

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