Sunday

Two UNC Girls!



Two UNC students named Trish and Tina were walking down the street.

Trish noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up.

She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."

Tina said, "Let me look!" So Trish handed her the compact.

Tina looked in the mirror then turned to Trish. "You silly... that's *me*!

5 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

It was a simple order, "Get dressed." When Mom said it, our
five-year-old grandson did what she asked. Moments later, he emerged from
his room dressed for the day. That's good. It wasn't until he was undressing
that night that Mom noticed a slight anomaly in how he had gotten dressed.
He had two pairs of underwear on! When Mom asked him about it, he answered
with a bemused look on his face: "Oh, I just put clean underwear on over
the dirty underwear." Not good.

Unfortunately, that is an all too common practice - among God's
children, that is. Instead of taking off some things in our life that are
dirty, we keep those and just put some clean stuff on over the dirty. It may
make you feel better about the dirty stuff, it may be covered up from most
people, but the dirty is still there. And you've got trouble with God.

There's a game all too many of us church folks play. It's described
in Isaiah 29:13-15, our word for today from the Word of God. "The Lord says:
'These people come near to Me with their mouth and honor Me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from Me ... Woe to those who go to great depths to
hide their plans from the Lord, who do their work in darkness and think,
'Who sees us? Who will know?'" Of course, God knows. He's not impressed
with all those Christian words we say and Christian meetings we go to and
Christian causes we support - He's interested in what's really going on in
your heart, in your real life.

There are a lot of nice people who have some very not-nice things
going on beneath the nice. Nice Christians who are poisoning their soul with
pornography, seemingly unaware that Jesus is standing there all the time.
Nice Christians who still have a serious problem with their temper, whose
rage is so hurtful, but known only to a few. There are nice Christians who
are hiding a pattern of abuse, or a heart full of bitterness, a life of
lying, a relationship that our culture calls an affair but God calls
adultery, a secret but sinful addiction, an agenda of revenge, sex outside
of God's fence of marriage - so many secrets Christians cover with a layer
of clean.

Maybe the lie we want to believe is that the good we put on over the
bad somehow excuses or makes up for the bad. Not with a holy God. That's
a lie that may stave off the judgment of your own conscience but will only
compound the judgment of God. And about it being a secret - Romans 2:16
describes the day "when God will judge men's secrets through Jesus Christ."
If you're covering up sin with spiritual stuff, you are sponsoring an unholy
coexistence that is an insult to a Savior who gave His life on the cross "so
that we might die to sins" (1 Peter 2:24), not hide our sins.

In Ephesians 4, God commands us to "put off your old self" and "to
be made new," to "put on the new self." He goes on to tell us to put off
lying and put on truth, put off trash talk and put on uplifting talk, put off
anger and bitterness and put on forgiveness and compassion, put off any
kind of sexual immorality and put on purity.

So you are at a crossroads. God brought us together today to tell
you that covering up your dirty with a layer of clean isn't going to cut it.
It's self-deception, living a lie, defying God, and building up judgment.
Don't you think it's time to come clean - even if it hurts? It will hurt a
whole lot more not to come clean. You know you're sick of that battle
inside you. It's tearing you apart - the guilt, the fear of getting caught, the
shame. And you know God is sick of this charade. While God is speaking
to you, while your heart is open to the truth, run to the cross where
everything you're hiding was paid for with Jesus' blood. And leave all that
dirty stuff, once and for all, at the foot of His old rugged cross.
Ron Hutchcraft

Professor Howdy said...

Here are some one liners
that should be on buttons...


1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

2. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

3. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

4. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

5. This isn't an office. It's Hades with fluorescent lighting.

6. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

7. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

Professor Howdy said...

February 7, 1940
Walt Disney's animated film "Pinocchio" premiered in theaters around
the world. Based on a 19th-century story by Italian writer Carlo
Collodi, "Pinocchio" is considered one of Disney's best movies when
Disney was still interested in the family market. Pinocchio is a wooden
marionette who after many misadventures finally becomes a real boy.

Images from the original movie:

Click Here
http://xrl.us/cd6h

Professor Howdy said...



Address Change

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It's hard to impress the opposite sex without 'Thought & Humor'
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humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
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I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."

That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.


-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis


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"Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
which is eternal life (John 17:3)."

- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643


"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
of religion, both in public and secret."

- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter


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Muhammad or Jesus???


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Why The U.S.A. Is At War:

Click Here
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AMERICA ARCHIVED


Click Here

This government site offers access to historic documents.
View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.



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Who is Jesus?

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"Not being on the air, that's not important. But I'd like
to be in the newsroom helping set the agenda."

Retired CBS Anchorman Walter Cronkite

{Dear Walter, Fair news knows no agenda - Howdy}


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God designed humans to want to believe in something.
That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
in everything -- including Little Green Men.

- - Chuck Colson

Professor Howdy said...

From The Voice of the Martyrs


EGYPT Police Raid Shop, Arrest Christian Shop Owner - VOM Sources
On December 26, 2006, police raided a shop owned by Magdy Guirgis Fam, an active member in the Egyptian Christian Youth Union (ECYU), who works under the Coptic Orthodox Church. The police destroyed his shop, beat him and arrested him. Magdy's ministry is following up with girls that Muslims kidnap or try to forcibly convert. This ministry has protected, rescued hundreds of Christian girls who have been threatened with kidnapping or forced conversion. The secret police have threatened other members of the ECYU. Pray God's protection and restoration for this brother, and his release from jail. Ask God to prompt Christians worldwide to lift up the country of Egypt before His throne. Psalm 32:7




IRAN Christian Couple Flee Persecution in North Iran - VOM sources
A Christian couple who led more than 200 church members in a Northern city in Iran have had to flee to a bigger city in order to continue their ministry. After becoming Christians they led their friends and family to the Lord and started a Bible study. Within a year it had grown to a church of 50 people and in two years they had 200 believers. The church spread to more than 10 cities and they started training 24 others to evangelize and continue building up the Body of Christ. "It was during this time that my wife and I noticed the government had found out about us and was pursuing us. We were in constant danger and threat of being arrested," the pastor said. Pray God protects and opens doors for this Christian couple to continue preaching and reaching Iran for Christ. Proverbs 2:8


CUBA Cuban Pastor Acquitted, but Convicted on New Charge - Compass Direct
A Cuban court acquitted Rev. Carlos Lamelas of human trafficking, but convicted him on previously announced charges of falsification of documents. The judges imposed a fine of 1,000 pesos ($45) for the new charges. "Even though this (sentence) is favorable, we are not satisfied. If a crime of falsification truly had been committed, that would make me an accomplice of trafficking in humans, and I would not have been acquitted. How can it be that I am innocent of the original crime and nevertheless guilty of the one they later invented," Lamelas said. Pray the Lord will give Rev Lamelas peace and protection. Psalm 29:11


INDIA Indian Church Burnt; Christians Arrested - Compass Direct
On December 23, 2006, Hindu extremists burned down a church and disrupted services in several Indian states. They continued their harassment and arrested carol singers on Christmas Eve. In a separate event, a pastor and 10 other missionaries were beaten and arrested for singing carols. They were later released. In another incident, Hindu extremist group, Bajrang Dal, attacked 20 Christians gathered in a church. "They stormed into the church, beat some of the Christians and destroyed hymnbooks and Bibles. Five Christians were injured in the attack, three suffered hearing loss due to a blow to the head, and a Bible a school student's hand was fractured," Compass Direct News reported. Pray God heals those that were injured and protects them, giving them boldness to continue their Christian walk. Acts 4:29, 30

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