UNC English Prof!

A salesman came to 
UNC English prof's 
office selling books.
The salesman goes 
into his sales pitch 
about how this one 
book he has would 
do half of the prof's 
work for him.

The prof ponders 
this for a minute 
and then he says
"Are you sure this 
book will do half 
of my work for me?"

"YES SIR Absolutely!" 
answers the salesman.

The prof said "Well 
now in that case I 
reckon I'll take me
two of them books!"


Professor Howdy said...

A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a
large bookstore. Engrossed in making a selection, my
friend had lost sight of her child.

"Reid!" she called out, racing through the aisles. "Reid!"

Just as she spotted the boy, she bumped into
another customer. "Pardon me, ma'am," he said, "but
most folks come here because they already like to read.
No sense in wasting your time trying to convince them."

Professor Howdy said...

Breaking news: A study, published in the journal PEDIATRICS,
shows that the more sexual content teenagers watch on television,
the earlier they'll become sexually active.

Professor Howdy said...

Q: What did the UNC student say when she
knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Abby Sciuto said...

"Gravity cannot be held responsible for
two people falling in love." -Albert Einstein

Cal - UCLA Grad Student said...

Two buffalo were standing on the range when a passing
tourist said: "Those are the mangiest, scroungiest, most
moth-eaten miserable beasts I have ever seen."

One of the buffalo turned to the other and said: "I think
I just heard a discouraging word."

Jill Carattini said...

For anyone who has ever been troubled by the lone sock left at the end of
the laundry, help is on the way, and it comes in the form of indignation:
Who ever said socks had to come in pairs? At least that is the rebellious
philosophy of one sock manufacturer who is single handedly trying to
change the way we see "the sock problem." "The missing sock is never
going to go away," said one of the company's founders. "This is a way to
really have fun with a real-world problem: people lose their socks...
Let's embrace the problem, and run with it." Currently they have in
circulation over 600,000 socks, all sold without matches in packages of 1,
3, or 7.

Type A personalities aside, the embracing of mismatched socks is catching
on quickly. I happen to think the idea is clever, particularly among the
target market (girls age 9-13), but I also think it may indeed be one more
logical outworking of a current philosophical state of mind. "Imbalance by
design--and the studied quirkiness it reveals--is everywhere," notes one
cultural observer. "Random is the new order," declares another product
aimed at teens. Whether selling music or socks, in the constant undertow
of marketing, the spirit and mood of the age is keenly, if cleverly, seen.

Physicist and Nobel laureate Leon Lederman once jokingly remarked that the
real goal of physics was to come up with an equation that could explain the
universe but still be small enough to fit on a T-shirt. With this
challenge in mind, Oxford scientist Richard Dawkins offers up his own
T-shirt slogan: "Life results from the non-random survival of randomly
varying replicators." The universe, he insists, has neither design nor
purpose; it exhibits nothing but blind pitiless indifference.

Yet if the universe has always been a disordered series of time plus
matter plus chance, how do we account for the intricate orderedness to
life, the uniformity of nature, or even the intricacy of the very mind
that asks the question? How is it that we can ever accept the non-random
consistency of nature in a random world? And what would it really look
like if random was the new order? Even in the nonconforming concept of
mismatched socks, the factories making them still exhibit a scrupulous
degree of order; each random sock is designed and produced with creativity
and intent.

Scribbled on a note card, a quote by Frederick Buechner marks the page of
one of my favorite Scriptures: "We learn to praise God," it reads, "not
by paying compliments, but by paying attention." In fact, much of
Scripture is a call to remember and take notice, to bear in mind the
stories of God in history and to fix one's eyes on God's presence in the
world today. In may be that microbiologist Michael Behe is one who pays
closer attention than most. Through his work, Behe describes irreducibly
complex systems, such as the blood-clotting mechanisms of the cell or the
motor mechanisms of bacterial flagellum. Nothing has ever been written on
how such systems could have originated by random mutation and natural
selection. There would be no reason for a pre-version of the mechanism to
survive, and the probability of such an intricate, multi-component
mechanism simultaneously and randomly developing at once is nil. They are
mechanisms for which a solely chance-driven world simply cannot account.
Accounting for them requires remembering another story.

As Martin Luther observed that the promise of the resurrection is written
not in words alone but in every leaf in springtime, so the promise of
purpose and intent and the matchless wonder of a creator are likewise
written in every cell of every leaf, and in the very eyes that notice

The verse I have marked with a reminder to pay attention was written by
one who did just that: "When I look at your heavens, the work of your
fingers, the moon and the stars that you have established; what are human
beings that you are mindful of them, mortals that you care for them? [...]
Yet you have made them a little lower than God, and crowned them with glory
and honor" (Psalm 8:3-9). David lived with an eye on the kingdom of God
around him, and as such, throughout his days, he remembered there is a
king. "O Lord, our Sovereign, how majestic is your name in all the

Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias
International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM)
"A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
would enjoy receiving "A Slice of Infinity" in their email box each day,
tell them they can sign up on our website at If they do not have access to the
World Wide Web, please call 1-877-88SLICE (1-877-887-5423).

Ron Hutchcraft said...

Years ago God laid the desperate need of young Native young people on our
hearts, and ever since we have been involved with some very special Indian
friends. And our summers on the reservation with our "On Eagles Wings" team
have given us some moments of unforgettable joy - and some moments of pain
and sorrow, too. One of the toughest of those moments was the summer when we
heard about Johnny's sudden and tragic death. Johnny was a Lakota young man
who we had worked with and had really come to love. In the providence of
God, our team was headed for Johnny's reservation in South Dakota when we
heard about his death. His parents actually delayed the funeral a couple of
days so the "On Eagles Wings" team could be there. His Mom said that some of
the best days of his life had been with our team.

After the funeral service, everyone went to the burial. It was in a field in
a remote corner of the reservation. When the casket was lowered into the
grave, the men began to step up one-by-one and they each shoveled some dirt
on top of it. It was a moving expression of respect and farewell. Johnny's
older brother, Jeremy - who was also part of our team - stood at the head of
his brother's grave. Native men don't readily show their feelings, but there
was no mistaking the pain and grief on Jeremy's face. But he did have
something to lean on. Someone had planted a large, wooden cross at the head
of the grave. And I'll never forget that scene - with Jeremy, in his deep
soul agony, standing at his brother's grave, just hugging the cross.

I'm talking to someone today who is going through a deep agony of soul right
now. Something has happened that is almost unbearable. And the people around
you are either unable or unwilling to be what you need in this dark valley.
Your world is shaking. It feels like there's not much you can hang onto
right now, except what Jeremy hung onto at his brother's grave. You can hold
onto the Cross of Jesus. In that awful moment by his brother's grave, it
seemed as if that cross was literally what was holding Jeremy up when
everything else was caving in.

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Isaiah 53:4-5. They're
about Jesus and your pain. "Surely He took up our infirmities and carried
our sorrows. He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our
iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him." If you
belong to Jesus Christ, you have a Savior who knows all about sorrow, about
being crushed. He's a Savior who still carries the wounds from the cross
where He bled and died for our sin.

When you bring your breaking heart to His cross, you look up at a Savior who
understands the darkest feelings you have. In the words of the Bible, "We do
not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but
we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet was
without sin (Hebrews 4:15)." There is no feeling, no agony, no struggle so
deep that Jesus can't feel it - and understand it - and help you carry it.

I had to move a very heavy couch not long ago. It was too heavy to carry
alone - like what you're going through right now. But the cross of Jesus is
your assurance that Jesus is there to grab the other end of this unbearable
burden and help you carry what you cannot carry alone. In fact, He will
carry you when you can't walk any further.

The cross tells you that Jesus will keep loving you when you have nothing
left loveable to offer Him. And He will not abandon you for even a moment.
He will give you His grace to get through this moment and give you His power
to heal what earth could never heal.

If you've never given yourself to this awesome Savior, would you do that
today? Consider letting this be your first day experiencing His love for
yourself. Go to our website. There's some help there that's helped many
other people begin their relationship with Jesus. It's I
urge you to go there.

As you stand on grieving ground, don't try to stand on your own. Lean all
your weight on the cross of Jesus, where He suffered all the agony of a
sin-ravaged world. He is the Savior for times like these.

To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus
Christ, please visit:

Yours for Life or call 1-888-966-7325.

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Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?

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