UNC Handyman's Guide!

A real man's guide to 
household tools:

You only need two tools: 
WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and it 
should, use WD-40.

If it moves and it shouldn't, 
use Duct Tape.

Continuous Traditional
Christmas Music!


Professor Howdy said...


In the world of "women's studies" classes, conservative women don't count.

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Professor Howdy said...

Translations of hotel terms!

Old world charm .................. No bath
Tropical ............................... Rainy
Majestic setting ..................... A long way from town
Options galore ...................... Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway ................ Impossible to find or get to
Pre-registered rooms ............. Already occupied
Explore on your own ............. Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable trip hosts ....... They've flown in an airplane before
No extra fees ......................... No extras
Nominal fee ........................... Outrageous charge
Standard ............................... Sub-standard
Deluxe .................................. Standard
Superior ............................... One free shower cap
Cozy .................................... Small
All the amenities ................... Two free shower caps
Plush ................................... Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes ..................... Occasional Gale-force winds
Light and airy ...................... No air conditioning
Picturesque ......................... Theme park nearby
Concierge ........................... Stand with tourist brochures
Continental breakfast ........... Free muffin

Professor Howdy said...

He is the best friend of American liberty who is most sincere and active in
promoting true and undefiled religion and who sets Himself with the greatest
firmness to bear down profanity and immorality of every kind...God grant
that in America true religion and civil liberty may be inseparable and that
the unjust attempts to destroy the one, may in the issue tend to the support
and establishment of both. --John Witherspoon, Signer of the Declaration of
Independence, Spoken in a sermon delivered May 17, 1776.

Professor Howdy said...

Dear Fellow Christian,

Did you know that most women in India cannot read or write, and many receive little or no education? Tobias, pastor of a Gospel for Asia-related Believers Church, realized these sad facts when he noticed that at least half the women in his church were illiterate. So, in order to give these women a chance to read the Bible themselves, Pastor Tobias started a literacy program. See a PhotoShow about this incredible ministry here:

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Now that the classes are in place, many women are learning to read and are excited to study the Bible on their own for the first time. Because of this outreach program, many new people are coming to the church and are opening their hearts to the Gospel.

It is exciting to see what God is doing in the lives of these precious women--and what a privilege you and I have to be part of it!

Yours for the lost,

K.P. Yohannan
Founder & President

Professor Howdy said...

What We Do Not Feel
Betsy Childs

The question was recently posed to me, "Can one really feel God's
presence?" The person asking had had experiences in which he believed
that he had felt the presence of God. But what troubled him was
the recognition that people from other faiths, or no faith at all, could
have similar subjective experiences that felt just as real to them.

This is not an easy question to answer. I believe that God's presence can
be experienced. The writer of Hebrews invites us, "Let us draw near to God
with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith" (10:22). But if I hang my
assurance of the reality and goodness of God on the experience of his
presence, the consequences for my faith will be radical, and possibly
fatal. If feelings are the basis for my faith, and one day I wake up and
I do not experience Jesus, but instead experience Gautama Buddha or Joseph
Smith, would I then convert to Buddhism or Mormonism?

The question about feeling God's presence brought to mind the story of
Darlene Deibler Rose. Rose was a young American missionary to the jungles
of New Guinea who survived four years of captivity in Japanese prison camps
during World War II. When Rose tells her story, she describes how a
powerful sense of God's loving presence sustained her through beatings,
horrible illnesses, the cruelties of her captors, and the death of her

Although I marveled at Rose's amazing endurance, I couldn't help but
wonder if I could endure as she had. I have not felt God's presence in
the unmistakably palpable way that she did. But towards the end of the
story of her imprisonment, Rose relates an experience that brings the
answer to this question into focus. At the time, she was in solitary
confinement and severely malnourished. In spite of her outward
difficulties, she had continued to feel inner peace. Then, she writes,

Quite suddenly and unexpectedly, I felt enveloped in a
spiritual vacuum. 'Lord, where have You gone? Why have You withdrawn
Your presence from me? O Father--' in panic I jumped to my feet, my heart
frantically searching for a hidden sin, for a careless thought, for any
reason why my Lord should have withdrawn his presence from me. My
prayers, my expressions of worship, seemed to go no higher than the
ceiling; there seemed to be no sounding board. I prayed for forgiveness,
for the Holy Spirit to search my heart. To none of my petitions was there
any apparent response.

Rose spent the night crying out to God, searching for a reason for why He
had withdrawn her ability to feel his presence. When no answer came, she

Lord, I believe all that the Bible says. I do walk by faith
and not by sight. I do not need to feel You near, because your
Word says You will never leave me nor forsake me. Lord, I confirm my
faith; I believe. The words of Hebrews 11:1 welled up, unbeckoned, to
fill my mind: 'Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the
evidence of things not seen.' ...Evidence not seen--that was what I
put my trust in--not in feelings or moments of ecstasy, but in the
unchanging Person of Jesus Christ.... In a measure I felt that I
understood what Job meant when he declared, 'Though He slay me, yet will I
trust in Him' (13:15). Job knew that he could trust God, because Job knew
the character of the One in Whom he had put his trust. It was faith
stripped of feelings, faith without trappings.(1)

I believe that we can feel God's presence, and that we should eagerly seek
it. But we cannot base our faith on a foundation of emotional experience.
If we base our faith on feelings, when the feelings go, the faith will
flee. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we
do not see. Faith is also being sure of what we do not feel.
If a commitment to Christ assured us that we would always feel his
presence, faith would not be required of us.

The story of Darlene Deibler Rose testifies to the reality of the Holy
Spirit--the Comforter, who will never leave us nor forsake us--as
powerfully as any story I have encountered. But Rose was wise enough to
know that her faith could not rest on that experience. When the darkness
descended, she kept walking, until she had passed through the darkness
into the light.

Betsy Childs is associate writer at Ravi Zacharias International
Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

(1) Darlene Deibler Rose, Evidence of Things Not Seen (San
Francisco: Harper & Row, 1988), 155-156.

Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM)
"A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
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Professor Howdy said...

Why Your Big Bowl Suddenly Got Small
Transcript #5252 | Psalm 23:1
Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
(More February transcripts)

Once upon a time, the Hutchcraft family had a little fantail goldfish, and what did our daughter name him? Well, of course, Fanny. And the time came for Fanny's murky old fishbowl water to get changed. Of course, he had to be in water while that was happening or he would have developed severe respiratory difficulties. So, we put Fanny into this cramped, tiny little bowl and we put it in the kitchen sink - poor little fish. He would try to swim as usual, and he just kept bumping into the sides of the bowl a lot because they came a lot sooner than usual! It really, obviously, was not fun being in that shrunken little environment, but hey, the purpose was to improve his world - right!

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Why Your Big Bowl Suddenly Got Small."

If you think about the goldfish, frustrated in a world that suddenly got smaller, you might be able to see a picture of yourself and what God is doing all this for.

Our word for today from the Word of God in Psalm 23:1 gives us familiar words and it describes some of the wonderful ways that God provides for us, leads us, and restores us. You know these words, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want." In Jesus, you have a Shepherd who knows exactly what you need and when you need it. Now here comes one of His methods for meeting your needs, "He makes me lie down in green pastures." That part - that's got a little sting in it, those words, "He makes me lie down." Like I hadn't planned to stop. I may not want to stop. "Hey, someone just hit the brakes! My world suddenly shrank!"

You could be in a time like that right now because of an injury, a change at work, a burden that's been added to you that's slowed you down, a health setback, a financial setback, or maybe because of a closed door or a lost relationship. If you were a goldfish, you might be saying, "Hey, I was swimming along in a much bigger bowl. Why did my world suddenly get smaller?"

Here's part of the answer in Psalm 23:3, "He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake." God wants to restore your soul. He wants to give you specific guidance, and maybe neither one can happen as long as you're swimming full speed in your fast-moving world. Our goldfish probably didn't realize it, but we put him temporarily in a little bowl so we could improve his world. After his frustrating, but brief time in a little bowl, he returned to a better, brighter world in his big, clean bowl.

We're like that. For us to have the better perspective, the closer walk, the inner power that Jesus wants to give us, He often has to slow us down and temporarily shrink our world. Years ago when my very active wife was bedridden for seven months recovering from hepatitis, she said, "You know, God used this time to do something wonderful. He has cleansed my schedule." Hard process - liberating result. You know, that is often God's way.

He makes us lie down. He makes us slow down. He makes us quiet down so He can restore a beat-up soul that He could never restore at the pace we usually travel, and to give us some direction in our stressed-out mind. We can't hear His voice sometimes until He slows us down. Isn't it interesting that the Bible says, "Be still and know that I am God." So don't worry if you suddenly find yourself in a smaller bowl. God is calling you to a timeout so he can return you to a better and brighter world!

Ron Hutchcraft.

Professor Howdy said...

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Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?

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Beautiful Music With Pictures:

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Last More than an hour!!!

Anonymous said...

Where are you if you have dropped your toaster waffle on the beach?

San Diego!

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