Best if read out loud to an intelligent group:

Waitress: Hawaii, Mister? You must be Hungary.

Gent: Yes, Siam. And I can't Rumania long, either. Venice
lunch ready?

Waitress: I'll Russia table. What are you Ghana Havre?

Gent: You want Tibet? I prefer Turkey. Can Jamaica cook
step on the Gaza bit?

Waitress: Odessa laugh! Alaska, but listen for her Wales.

Gent: I'm not Balkan. Just put a Cuba sugar in my Java.

Waitress: Don't you be Sicily, big boy. Sweden it yourself.
I'm only here to Serbia.

Gent: Denmark my check and call the Bosphorus, Egypt me.
There's an Eire. I hope he'll Kenya. I don't Bolivia know
who I am!

Waitress: Canada noise! I don't Caribbean. You sure Ararat!

Gent: Samoa your wisecracks? What's got India? D'you think
this arguing Alps business? Why be so Chile? Be Nice!

Waitress: Don't Kiev me that Boulogne! Alemain do! Spain in
the neck. Pay your Czech and don't Kuwait. Ayssinia!

Gent (to himself): I'll come back with my France and Taiwan
on Zanzibar is open.


Professor Howdy said...


Are fiddlehead ferns poisonous?

Not necessarily, but something that looks similar is - Fiddlehead
ferns are a stage in the growth of all ferns - the tightly coiled
young shoot. They resemble the head of a violin, hence the name.
Edible fiddleheads are the fiddleheads of the Ostrich Fern. Be
careful, because there are many look-alikes (including the Braken Fern
and Royal Fern), which have been shown to cause stomach cancer in a
relatively short time (2 to 5 years).


Why is vanilla extract so expensive?

The next time you are in the grocery store and wonder why pure vanilla
extract is so expensive, consider the following: The vanilla bean is
the fruit of a tropical American species of orchid, the only one which
produces anything edible out of 20,000 orchid varieties. The plant
produces one flower which lasts for only one day. If it is not
pollinated, it will be another year before it flowers again. After the
flower is pollinated, it takes about 6 weeks for the bean pod to
develop and reach full size (6 to 10 inches), and another 9 months to
mature. The pods are then hand picked, and dipped immediately in
boiling water to stop growth. Initially, the vanilla bean has no
flavor or aroma. The beans must be cured by heating in the sun during
the day and wrapping them to sweat at night, for up to 20 days. They
are then air dried in trays for 4 to 6 months, and during this process
the beans ferment and develop their unique aroma and flavor. The cured
pods contain about 2% vanillin (the main flavor component), oleoresin,
sugar, aldehydes, alcohols, esters, etc., which all contribute to its
unique aroma and flavor. The cured beans are then crushed and the
flavors extracted with water and alcohol.


Why don't we bow to our country's leader?

The democratic custom of shaking hands instead of bowing at White
House receptions was initiated in the Blue Room by Thomas Jefferson
early in his first term as U.S. president.


What's so special about the number two?

The number two is the only number greater than zero that, when added
to or multiplied by itself, gives the same result: 4.


Was Lord Byron fond of his geese?

It would seem so - Lord Byron had four pet geese that he brought
everywhere with him, even to social gatherings. Byron, was
considered one of the most dashing and attractive men of his time.

Professor Howdy said...

An elderly man 88, just returned from the doctors only to
find he didn't have long to live. So he summons the three
most important people in his life to tell.

1. His Doctor
2. His Priest
3. His Lawyer

"Well today I found out I don't have long to live. So I
asked you three here, because your the most important people
in my life. And I need to ask a favour. Today I am going to
give each of you and envelope with $50,000 dollars in it.
When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the
money in my grave."

Well a few days later the man passed on, The doctor said,
"I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money, he owed
me lots of medical bills. But I threw the other $35,000 in."

The Priest said, "I have to admit also I kept $25,000
dollars for the church. Its all going to a good cause. And I
threw the rest in."

Well the Lawyer just couldn't believe what he was hearing,
"I am surprised at you two. I wrote a check for the whole
amount and threw it in."

Professor Howdy said...


Read what you have time for below
& save the residuum for a stormy/
blustery/dilatory interval while
the charming/exquisite/vernal/
aestival season is bursting out all
over. Our goal is to promote a non-
threatening and productive office
& university environment and to
establish language that is gender-
neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-
neutral while celebrating our spirit
of diversity.

Write me sometime:

Click Here


This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?!

Professor Howdy said...

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With Those You LOVE!

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