Monday

An Overweight UNC Student!



An overweight UNC student went to see her
doc for some advice. She was anxious to try
an get in top shape.

The doctor advised her to run ten miles a day

for sixty days. This, he guaranteed would help
her lose as much as 120 pounds and tone
up her body just fine.

Determined, the UNC student followed the doctor's

advice rigorously everyday without fail, and, after
thirty days, she was pleased to discover that she
had indeed lost twenty pounds and felt great.

She phoned the doc and thanked him for his

wonderful advice that had produced such
fabulously effective results.

However, at the end of the conversation, the UNC

student had one last question for the doc, then she
asked:

"How do I get home, Doc?, 'cuz I'm now about 600

miles away?




3 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

According to Boston University - more than 16,580 bananas
are eaten each week in the Boston University dining rooms.

Anonymous said...

Dear Howdy,

The Price of Children:

I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but
this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice,
really nice!!

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to
18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker
shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896.66
a year, $741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.24 a day! Just
over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if
you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite.
What do you get for your $160,140?

Naming rights. First, middle, and last!

Glimpses of God every day. (See Mat 18:3)

Giggles... under the covers every night.

More love than your heart can hold.

Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.

Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.

A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.

A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sandcastles, and
skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.

Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how
your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up.

You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning
bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on
stars.

You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets
and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in
clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck.

You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
taking the training wheels off a bike, removing a splinter, filling a wading
pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that
never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word,
first bra, first date, and first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal.

You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a
long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great
grandchildren.

You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice,
communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the
power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a
broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them
without limits, so . one day they will, like you, love without counting the
cost..

ENJOY YOUR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS!

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that
take our breath away..." (See Ps 127:5)

Harry Smith (Atlanta)

Professor Howdy said...

A panda walks into a diner, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats
the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots out the restaurant's windows.

As the panda stands up to go, the owner shouts, "Hey! Where are you
going? You just shot my windows out and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the owner, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

The owner opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for "panda":
"A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin. Eats shoots and leaves."

Follow T&H!