Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture!
First Published In The Last Century - July 26, 1997!
Over 9 Million Hits!
An Amusement Park Of Ideas! #ProfHowdy
Dear Howdy,Many of us [those over 40, WAY over 40, or hovering near 40] are quiteconfused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about thekind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as wetry to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen onthe streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should beavoided:1. A nose ring and bifocals2. Spiked hair and bald spots3. A pierced tongue and dentures4. Miniskirt and support hose5. Ankle bracelet and corn pads6. Speedo's and cellulite7. A belly ring and a gall bladder scar8. Unbuttoned disco shirt and a heart monitor9. Midriff shirt and a midriff bulge10. Bikinis and liver spots11. Short shorts and varicose veins12. Inline skates and a walkerAnd last, but not least.....My personal favorite...13. Thongs and DependsPlease keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when youshop!!!!!UNC Fashion Police
Three men are waiting outside the delivery room with the hospitalchaplain as the nurse comes out and calls, "Mr. Smith, congratulationsyou have twins!" Mr. Smith replies, "That's so funny because I workfor the Minnesota Twins."Shortly thereafter another nurse comes out and announces"Mr. Jones, congratulations you have triplets!"Mr. Jones replies, "Wow, that's kind of amazing the lastguy worked for the Twins and had twins -- I had tripletsand I work for Triple A."Just then the third gentleman turns ghostly white andbegins sweating, as he darts for the door the chaplain stops him andsays, "Son, your wife is in having your child why are you leaving likethis?" The gentleman replies "The first guy had twins and works for theTwins... the second works for Triple A and had triplets... I work for7-Eleven."
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