UNC Baseball!

Q. Why does it take longer to 
run from second base to third 
base than from first base to second?

A. Because there is a short stop 
between second and third base.


Anonymous said...

Dear Howdy,

Many of us [those over 40, WAY over 40, or hovering near 40] are quite
confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the
kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we
try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on
the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirt and support hose

5. Ankle bracelet and corn pads

6. Speedo's and cellulite

7. A belly ring and a gall bladder scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirt and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirt and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least.....My personal favorite...

13. Thongs and Depends

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you

UNC Fashion Police

Professor Howdy said...

Three men are waiting outside the delivery room with the hospital
chaplain as the nurse comes out and calls, "Mr. Smith, congratulations
you have twins!" Mr. Smith replies, "That's so funny because I work
for the Minnesota Twins."

Shortly thereafter another nurse comes out and announces
"Mr. Jones, congratulations you have triplets!"
Mr. Jones replies, "Wow, that's kind of amazing the last
guy worked for the Twins and had twins -- I had triplets
and I work for Triple A."

Just then the third gentleman turns ghostly white and
begins sweating, as he darts for the door the chaplain stops him and
says, "Son, your wife is in having your child why are you leaving like
this?" The gentleman replies "The first guy had twins and works for the
Twins... the second works for Triple A and had triplets... I work for

Professor Howdy said...

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