Visiting The UNC Campus!

While on leave, my Marine buddy 
and I met two nursing students 
on the UNC campus. After chatting 
with them awhile, the conversation 
turned to what we did in the service. 

When we told them we were in 

the infantry, the girls seemed 
very impressed, giving us big 
smiles as they told us how 
sweet that was.

Since infantry and sweet are seldom 

used in the same sentence, I was a 
little confused. Until, that is, one of 
the girls said, "We admire any man 
who works with infants."


Professor Howdy said...


Do you ever feel overworked, over-regulated, under-leisured and
underbenefited? Take heart, this notice was found in the ruins of a
London office building. It was dated 1852:

1. This firm has reduced the hours of work, and the clerical staff will
no only have to be present between the hours of 6 a.m. and 7 p.m.

2. Clothing must be of sober nature. The clerical staff will not
disport themselves in raiment of bright colors, nor will they wear hose
unless in good repair.

3. Overshoes and topcoats may not be worn in the office, but neck
scarves and headwear may be worn in inclement weather.

4. A stove is provided for the benefit of the clerical staff. Coal and
wood must be kept in the locker. It is recommended that each member of
the clerical staff bring four pounds of coal each day during the cold

5. No member of the clerical staff may leave the room without
permission from the supervisor.

6. No talking is allowed during business hours.

7. The craving for tobacco, wine, or spirits is a human weakness, and
as such is forbidden to all members of the clerical staff.

8. Now that the hours of business have been drastically reduced, the
partaking of food is allowed between 11:30 and noon, but work will not
on a account cease!!!.

9. Members of the clerical staff will provide their own pens. A new
sharpener is available on application to the supervisor.

10. The supervisor will nominate a senior clerk to be responsible for
the cleanliness of the main office and the supervisor's private office.
All boy and juniors will report to him 40 minutes before prayers and
will remain aft closing hours for similar work. Brushes, brooms,
scrubbers, and soap are provided by the owners.

11. The owners recognize the generosity of the new labor laws, but will
expect a great rise in output of work to compensate for these near
Utopian conditions.

Professor Howdy said...

Morris has a business appointment, and he arrives a little early. The
receptionist points to a comfortable easy chair, and asks him to be
seated for a short while. Morris settles down, picks up a glossy
magazine from the glass-topped table, opens it, and tries to read.
However, he finds that he cannot concentrate because he is distracted
due to a rumpus coming from behind one of the doors leading off the
reception area. Morris goes over to the receptionist and asks: "What's
going on in there?"

She replies: "It's a partners' meeting."

"But why are they shouting at each other?" Morris asks. "It's a battle
of wits," she replies.

Morris asks: "Who is in there?",

She answers: "Horowits, Lebowits, Rabbinowits and Abramowits."

Professor Howdy said...

Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office
and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard
an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward

Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave just before the
avalanche hit. Just as fortunately, he had matches with him and was able
to light a fire.

Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned, a rescue team
was sent to search for him.

After several hours they saw smoke curling from the cave and went to

Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled, "Mr.
Jacobson, are you there? It's the Red Cross."

Bristling, the harried executive called back, "Get lost. I gave at the

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