Thursday

UNC Bike Riders!



Two UNC* students were out for a therapeutic cycle ride one day, when suddenly one stopped and let the air out of her tires.

"What did you do that for?" asked the other.

"Oh, I couldn't reach the pedals, so I thought it would help," came the reply.

At this the second student got off her bike, took off the handle bars and seat, and swapped them around.

"What did you do that for?" asked the first. - "Well, if you're gonna be that stupid, I'm going home..."




*Please see "comments" for
additional pertinent & germane
information.

10 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.


*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), N.U.T., A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.

Professor Howdy said...

"Hillary Clinton has announced she's going to meet with
Rutgers women's basketball team. Haven't these women suf-
fered enough?" -Jay Leno

Professor Howdy said...

"Friday the 13th was actually a very lucky day for me. I
woke up this morning, and I got an unbelievable e-mail.
Apparently, a Nigerian prince left me $47 million. And all
I have to do to claim it, is pay a $500 filing fee. So you
won't have me to kick around anymore." -Jimmy Kimmel

Professor Howdy said...

Scientists Decode the First Low-Frequency Radio Waves
From an Alien Civilization Ever to Reach Earth...

Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to the Star
System at the top of the list, cross off that star system,
then put your Star System at the bottom of the list and send
it to 100 other Star Systems. Within one-tenth of a Galactic
Rotation you will receive enough hydrogen to power your
civilization until entropy reaches maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!

Professor Howdy said...

November 26, 1942
Considered by many one of the best films ever made, "Casablanca"
premiered in New York City, but its general release only occurred two
months later. Based on an unpublished play by Murray Burnett,
Casablanca is a romantic melodrama set in the Moroccan city of the
same name during World War II. The movie starred Humphrey Bogart,
Ingrid Bergman, and Paul Henreid.

The film gave us many classic scenes and quotes:

Click Here


http://www.filmsite.org/casa.html

Professor Howdy said...

I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."

That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis

Professor Howdy said...

Talk about having second thoughts upon choosing a place to
eat. I went into this place in Chapel Hill, NC and said to the
waitress, "I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse."

She smiled, handed me a menu and replied, "Well... you've
come to the right place."

Professor Howdy said...

"Sir, I can see you are a prophet."

Jesus hadn't told her future, a task many equate with prophecy. He had
told her past. "You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact
is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your
husband" (John 4:17-18). From this knowledge of her angst-ridden personal
life, the woman at the well concluded that Jesus was no less than a
prophet. As the conversation continued, she began to wonder if Jesus was
not the Prophet.

The storied role of a Hebrew prophet is a perspective lost in modern
times. The prophets were messengers sent by God to a world hard of
hearing, whether by suffering or stubbornness, sin or shame. "Prophecy is
the voice that God has lent to the silent agony," writes Abraham Heschel,
"a voice to the plundered poor, to the profaned riches of the world. It
is a form of living, a crossing point of God and man. God is raging in
the words of the prophet."(1) The prophet's words were often cries of the
imminent future, but they were also exclamations for the present, insight
into the past, and windows into another kingdom. The prophets were
messengers, but they were also mediators. They were called to restore the
hearts of the people to the God they had abandoned. To a world that needed
to be wakened, the prophet was God's megaphone. But likewise, the prophet
brought the cry of humanity before the heart of God. Standing between God
and the people, the prophet cried out at times as prosecutor, at times as
the defense.

It is essential to know this backdrop of Hebrew prophecy if we are to
understand the person and work of Christ. Like the Hebrew prophets who
came before him, Jesus was more than an individual who told the future, or
a person with divine insight. He came as messenger, but he offered far
more than words. He came to herald another kingdom and to restore hearts
to God in the present one. He came with the message of salvation and he
stood between God and humanity--even unto a cross--to give it. He came as
both judge and physician, the herald of our brokenness and the bearer of
that brokenness.

In fact, the woman at the well saw that Jesus was one who had no doubt
"stood in the council of the LORD"--the distinguishing factor between true
and false prophets given in Jeremiah 23. Even so, the conversation
continued to surprise her, and she began to surmise that the one in front
of her was even greater than a prophet, greater than those who stood
boldly between God and humanity crying to both. Jesus declared, "Believe
me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on
this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not
know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a
time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the
Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father
seeks" (John 4:21-23). As seen in the reactions of this Samaritan, these
words had eschatological, historical, and cosmological dimensions. This
man had the voice of a prophet and something more.

Leaving the jar she came to fill, the woman at the well ran home,
proclaiming out of her own silent agony the hope he voiced within it:
"Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the
Christ?"


Jill Carattini is managing editor of A Slice of Infinity at Ravi
Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

(1) Abraham Heschel, The Prophets (New York: Harper Collins, 2001),
5-6.


----------------------------------
Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM)
"A Slice of Infinity" is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of
challenge, words of truth, and words of hope. If you know of others who
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Anonymous said...

I noticed your reference to Casablanca. A friend of mine told me that it is his favorite movie of all time. So, I made a point to see it. However, I was disappointed. I found it to be just a bunch of old chiches all pasted together.

Professor Howdy said...

Sorry that you didn't like the movie -
It's one of my favorites.

The bunch of old cliches originated
in this very movie:O)

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