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Monday
Making Kool-Aid!
Why won't UNC students make Kool-Aid? Because they can't figure out how to get a quart of water into that little package.
The Perfect Son A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn't. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
* Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? * How do I set my laser printer on stun? * How is it possible to have a civil war? * If all the world is a stage, where IS the audience sitting? * If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? * If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? * If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? * If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff? M-
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. --Proverbs 9
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"Finally, it is my fervent prayer to that Almighty Being... that He will so overrule all my intentions and actions and inspire the hearts of my fellow-citizens that we may be preserved from dangers of all kinds and continue forever a united happy people." --Andrew Jackson
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The Perfect Son
ReplyDeleteA: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
Dear Professor Howdy,
ReplyDeleteQuestion for your astute readers . . . .
* Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
* How do I set my laser printer on stun?
* How is it possible to have a civil war?
* If all the world is a stage,
where IS the audience sitting?
* If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
* If one synchronized swimmer drowns,
do the rest have to drown too?
* If the #2 pencil is the most popular,
why is it still #2?
* If the black box flight recorder is never damaged
during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane
made out of the stuff?
M-
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge
ReplyDeleteof the Holy One is understanding. --Proverbs 9
===============
Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)
1-800-633-3446
(Not associated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
"Finally, it is my fervent prayer to that Almighty Being...
that He will so overrule all my intentions and actions and
inspire the hearts of my fellow-citizens that we may be
preserved from dangers of all kinds and continue forever
a united happy people." --Andrew Jackson
===============
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Then the lame shall leap
ReplyDeletelike a deer, And the tongue
of the dumb sing. For waters
shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert.
- Isaiah 35:6
Turn to me and have mercy on me, for I am alone and in deep distress. - Psalm 25:16
ReplyDelete