Monday

Top 10 UNC Inventions!


UNC Prof

1. Waterproof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat on a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Eskimo solar powered freezer



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or #ProfHowdy

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7 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

One day a scientist wanted to prove that, contrary to popular
belief, UNC students were actually smart. To prove his theory he
gathered a huge convention of UNC students. He chose one lady out of the
crowd and began to ask her questions.

"What is 12x11?"

"120?"

The crowd yelled, "Give her another chance!"

The scientist asked again, "What is 6x4?"

"25?"

The crowd yelled, "Give her another chance!"

The scientist asked a final time, "What is 2+2?"

The student ventured "4?"

The crowd yelled, "Give her another chance!"

Professor Howdy said...

One of the reasons for the success of the internet is its open,
peer-to-peer nature. All computers on the internet are equal,
and in the past it hasn't mattered whether your computer is
a 386 in Nguru on the end of a satellite phone or a big monster
in a New York rack. If that ever changes, I think we will lose
part of the essential, vital character of the internet. Doug Winter


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Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds.
Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
into which they never enter and with their hand on the door
latch they die outside. GK Chesterton

Anonymous said...

Dear Professor Howdy,

While trying to explain to our six-year-old daughter how much
technology had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new
personal computer and told her that when he was in college,
a computer with the same amount of power would have been the
size of a house.

Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, "How big was the mouse?

Susie L. (L.A.)

Margaret Manning said...

"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus"
(1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Had I read and understood this verse as a young girl, perhaps I wouldn't
have needed to read all the books I read about finding God's will for my
life, or attend all the seminars on discernment, or spend anxious nights
in prayer wondering if I was perfectly aligned with the will of God. Paul
tells the Thessalonian Christians that giving thanks in everything was
God's will for them, plain and simple.

On the surface, this seems too easy, too simple to encompass something as
deep and as wide as the will of God. And yet, praise and thanksgiving
have always been the markers of a people who walked in the will the Lord,
even of those who struggled with circumstances in which we would be
stretched to find any reason for praise.

For ancient Israel, the concept of thanksgiving was explicitly tied to
remembering all that God had done on their behalf. The people are told to
remember the God who "brought them out of the land of Egypt" and to
remember "the days of old" when the Lord found them "in a desert land, and
in the howling waste of a wilderness; He encircled them, He cared for them,
he guarded them as the pupil of His eye" (Deuteronomy 5:15; 32:7-12). The
psalmists remind the people to "remember that God was their rock, and the
Most High God their Redeemer" (Psalm 78:35), and Job cries out in defiant
praise after losing everything, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken
away. Blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21).

A spirit of thanksgiving marked the earliest followers of Jesus as well.
These early believers were so overjoyed at the Spirit's work among them
that they shared meals, their property and possessions, and were
continually praising God (Acts 2:42-47). Paul exhorted the Philippian
Christians to offer their prayers and supplications "with thanksgiving"
(Philippians 4:6), and the endless song around the throne of heaven in
Revelation sounds the chorus for "blessing and glory and wisdom and
thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever"
(Revelation 7:12). Indeed, it is the will of God, from beginning to end,
for us to give thanks and praise.

The American celebration of Thanksgiving was founded because our earliest
leaders thought it important for the entire nation to stop and give
thanks. Written in 1782, one of the first declarations concerning the day
of Thanksgiving read:

"The United States in Congress assembled, taking into their consideration
the many instances of divine goodness to these States:[...] Do hereby
recommend to the inhabitants of these States in general, the observation
of THURSDAY the twenty-eight day of NOVEMBER next, as a day of solemn
THANKSGIVING to GOD for all his mercies: and they do further recommend to
all ranks, to testify to their gratitude to GOD for his goodness, by a
cheerful obedience of his laws, and by promoting, each in his station, and
by his influence, the practice of true and undefiled religion, which is the
great foundation of public prosperity and national happiness."(1)

This declaration reflects the notion that the mark of a great nation, like
the distinction of God's people in Scripture, is in its thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is God's will for God's people because when we give thanks
for who God is and what God has done in our lives, there is no room for
jealousy of what others' have, no room for complaining about what we lack.
Even in times of deepest sorrow, there is a joy that rises up on the heart
when praise comes even with tears. Thanksgiving makes the heart full of
gladness which overflows from our lives and spills out into acts of
kindness and generosity. When we are grateful, we cannot help but share
our gratitude. And this is the will of God for our lives.

I am grateful for a day set apart to focus on thanksgiving, but I am
challenged to live into God's will for my life by giving thanks in
everything, every day of the year. As the author of the letter to the
Hebrews concludes: "Through God then, let us continually offer up a
sacrifice of praise to God that is the fruit of lips that give thanks to
His name. And do not neglect doing good and sharing; for with such
sacrifices God is pleased."(2)

Margaret Manning is a member of the speaking and writing team at Ravi
Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

(1)Thanksgiving Proclamation State of New-Hampshire. In Committee
of Safety, Exeter, November 1, 1782 from https://www.history.com.
(2) Hebrews 13:15-16.


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Leroy Jethro Gibbs said...

At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Arizona.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older
man.

"Say, my doctor recommended I move here for my health. Is
this really a good place to live?"

"It sure is," the man replied. "When I first arrived here
I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head.
I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had
to be lifted out of bed."

"That's wonderful!" said John. "How long have you been here?"

"I was born here."

Dr. Ducky Mallard said...

As a veterinarian, I was called at home in the middle of the
night by a woman in distress. She had swallowed her dog's
heart worm pill by mistake. I knew it wouldn't harm her, but
by law, I'm forbidden to give medical advice. "If your dog
had swallowed your pill, then you'd call me," I explained.
"In this case, you really should consult with your own
physician."

"But it's one in the morning!" she exclaimed. "I can't wake
my doctor."

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer said...

Ever wonder what medical personnel scribble on those
clipboards attached to the foot of the bed? Here are some
incredible comments taken from hospital charts:

"The patient refused autopsy."

"The patient has no previous history of suicides."

"She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband
states she was very hot in bed last night."

"She is numb from her toes down."

"Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."

"Discharge status: Alive but without my permission."

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