Friday

UNC Football Lineman!

                                              (J.B. wearing alligator shoes)

A UNC lineman was on vacation 
in the depths of Louisiana.

He wanted a pair of genuine 
alligator shoes in the worst way,
but was very reluctant to pay 
the high prices the local vendors
were asking.

After becoming very frustrated 
with the "no haggle" attitude
of one of the shopkeepers, 
the UNC tackle shouted, "Maybe
I'll just go out and catch my own 
alligator so I can get a pair
of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, 

be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out 
and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the lineman turned 
and headed for the swamps, set 
on catching himself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper 
is driving home when he spots 
the UNC football player standing 
waist deep in the water. Just then, 
he sees a huge nine-foot alligator 
swimming quickly toward him...


*Please see "comments"
for the rest of the story.





5 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

A UNC* lineman was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
He wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way,
but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors
were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude
of one of the shopkeepers, the UNC tackle shouted, "Maybe
I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair
of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe
you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the lineman turned and headed for the swamps,
set on catching himself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he
spots the UNC football player standing waist deep in the
water. Just then, he sees a huge nine-foot alligator swim-
ming quickly toward him.

He grabs the gator, kills the creature with his bare hands,
and hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were
several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement.

Just then the lineman flips the alligator on its back,
and frustrated, shouts out, "DOGGONE IT, THIS
ONE ISN'T WEARING ANY SHOES, EITHER!!"

Professor Howdy said...

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) Senate Dinosaurs
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.


*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), N.U.T., A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State. UNC
is a trademark of Under-achievers of North Carolina...

Professor Howdy said...

Evil is real. It has been intellectually fashionable for the last few
decades to think otherwise. The comfort and stability of the Western
world almost allows one the luxury to believe this lie, that evil is
merely a social construct, just a vestigial notion of a bygone era.

At times it has taken voices from outside of the West to remind us of the
reality of evil. Alexander Solzhenitsyn, the great contemporary Russian
author, is just such a voice. Powerfully, he decried the atrocities of
the former Soviet Union. Solzhenitsyn knew of intellectuals who blithely
discounted the reality of evil. He found them, for instance, in the plays
of Anton Chekhov, Russia's most famed playwright. Listen to a passage
where he considers what such a stock would do in the face of the
stupendous reality of evil in the former Soviet Union.

If the intellectuals in the plays of Chekhov…had been told that in forty
years interrogation by torture would be practiced in Russia; that
prisoners would have their skulls squeezed within iron rings; that a human
would be lowered into an acid bath; that they would be trussed up naked to
be bitten by ants and bedbugs…that in the luckiest possible circumstances,
prisoners would be tortured by being kept from sleeping for a week, by
thirst, and by being beaten to a bloody pulp, not one of Chekhov's plays
would have gotten to its end because all the heroes would have gone off to
insane asylums. (Footnote 1: Alexander Solzhenitsyn quoted by David Remnick in Resurrection
(NY, Vintage Books, 1998) 123.)

Belief in the unreality of evil cannot stand in the face of such gruesome
details of perversity. Or it can stand, and make the unbeliever go insane
as Solzhenitsyn theorized.

That evil exists, I believe, is quite evident from such accounts as these.
But we need not turn the globe to find evil. We need only turn to our
own hearts, and we will find ample measures of selfishness, malice,
and greed, in short, the embryos of full-blown evil.

Given that evil exists, and given that it exists in us, the pressing
question is: can evil be overcome? I believe it can. But not on account
of our seeming innate goodness. And not because we can somehow teach
ourselves to be good. Evil can be overcome only because it has been
overcome in the Cross. This is the central Christian message: Evil
exists, and the Cross is God's triumph over it. Indeed, "God demonstrates
his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for
us." (Footnote 2: Romans 5:8) Dear friend, Christ died for the ungodly,
for the evil endemic in the hearts of men, for you and I. What was once
lost, can be found Christ. In this we rejoice! Keith Cox

Professor Howdy said...

Why is Chapel Hill changing their mascot to the possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Professor Howdy said...




Reaching The World -
Our Readers' Locations:



Num Perc. State/Region Country Name
drill down 44 8.80% Michigan United States United States
drill down 27 5.40% Budapest Hungary Hungary
drill down 24 4.80% Pennsylvania United States United States
drill down 20 4.00% Florida United States United States
drill down 20 4.00% Punjab Pakistan Pakistan
drill down 20 4.00% Veneto Italy Italy
drill down 18 3.60% Georgia United States United States
drill down 17 3.40% North Carolina United States United States
drill down 15 3.00% South Carolina United States United States
drill down 14 2.80% Madhya Pradesh India India
drill down 14 2.80% Alaska United States United States
drill down 12 2.40% Haryana India India
drill down 11 2.20% Texas United States United States
drill down 11 2.20% Delaware United States United States
drill down 11 2.20% Andhra Pradesh India India
drill down 11 2.20% Tennessee United States United States
drill down 10 2.00% London United Kingdom United Kingdom
drill down 10 2.00% Al Qahirah Egypt Egypt
drill down 10 2.00% Maryland United States United States
drill down 9 1.80% West Virginia United States United States
drill down 8 1.60% Mississippi United States United States
drill down 8 1.60% Maharashtra India India
drill down 7 1.40% Delhi India India
drill down 7 1.40% Tamil Nadu India India
drill down 6 1.20% Staden Kobenhavn Denmark Denmark
drill down 6 1.20% Louisiana United States United States
drill down 6 1.20% Arkansas United States United States
drill down 6 1.20% Gujarat India India
drill down 6 1.20% Vermont United States United States
drill down 6 1.20% Ohio United States United States
drill down 5 1.00% Dubai United Arab Emirates United Arab Emirates
drill down 5 1.00% Unknown Unknown -
drill down 4 0.80% Iowa United States United States
drill down 4 0.80% Liverpool United Kingdom United Kingdom
drill down 4 0.80% Nova Scotia Canada Canada
drill down 4 0.80% Rizal Philippines Philippines
drill down 4 0.80% Punjab India India
drill down 4 0.80% Torfaen United Kingdom United Kingdom
drill down 4 0.80% Stockholms Lan Sweden Sweden
drill down 4 0.80% Jawa Barat Indonesia Indonesia
drill down 4 0.80% Buckinghamshire United Kingdom United Kingdom
drill down 3 0.60% Kerala India India
drill down 3 0.60% Vastra Gotaland Sweden Sweden
drill down 3 0.60% Missouri United States United States
drill down 3 0.60% Virginia United States United States
drill down 2 0.40% Alberta Canada Canada
drill down 2 0.40% Kuala Lumpur Malaysia Malaysia
drill down 2 0.40% Quebec Canada Canada
drill down 2 0.40% Ontario Canada Canada
drill down 2 0.40% Lodzkie Poland Poland
drill down 2 0.40% Arizona United States United States
drill down 2 0.40% Skane Lan Sweden Sweden
drill down 2 0.40% Birmingham United Kingdom United Kingdom
drill down 2 0.40% Uttar Pradesh India India
drill down 2 0.40% Istanbul Turkey Turkey
drill down 2 0.40% Devon United Kingdom United Kingdom
drill down 2 0.40% Minnesota United States United States
drill down 2 0.40% Colorado United States United States
drill down 2 0.40% Antwerpen Belgium Belgium
drill down 2 0.40% Sivas Turkey Turkey
drill down 2 0.40% Dhaka Bangladesh Bangladesh
drill down 2 0.40% Singapore Singapore
drill down 2 0.40% Kingston Upon Hul United Kingdom United Kingdom
drill down 2 0.40% New Jersey United States United States
drill down 2 0.40% Southampton United Kingdom United Kingdom
drill down 2 0.40% Newcastle Upon Tyne United Kingdom United Kingdom
drill down 2 0.40% Washington United States United States
drill down 1 0.20% Rajasthan India India
drill down 1 0.20% Beijing China China
drill down 1 0.20% New York United States United States
drill down 1 0.20% Krung Thep Thailand Thailand




Above numbers give a snapshot of the locations
of our last 500 readers around 7 A.M. today.
This will change completely in the next few
minutes. 'Thought & Humor' has been read in
ALL 230 countries of the world.-"But indeed
for this purpose I have raised you up, that
I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth."
EX IX:XVI

But how can people call for help if they
don't know who to trust? And how can
they know who to trust if they haven't
heard of the One who can be trusted?
And how can they hear if nobody tells
them? - RO X:XIV




Click Here
Click Here


Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?


http://everystudent.com/menus/intl.html

Click Here
Click Here

Follow T&H!