UNC Radio!

A Chapel Hill* radio announcer 
was introducing a record, "The 
next one is for Charlotte Burke, 
who is a hundred and eleven. 
Hey, Charlotte, that's a ripe old 
age, isn't it?"

There was a short pause and 
then the DJ said, "I'm sorry,
I got it wrong. This next one 
is for Charlotte Burke, who 
is ill."

*Please see "comments" for
additional pertinent & germane


Professor Howdy said...

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring

*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), N.U.T., A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.

Professor Howdy said...

*Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
*If a word were misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?
*Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
*Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

*Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
*Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
*Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
*Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

*Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
*Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected' make the unexpected expected?
*Why are wise man and wise guy opposites?
*Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

*Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?
*If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
*If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
*If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
*If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

*Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
*How come abbreviated is such a long word?
*Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
*Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

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