A Classic Bit Of Humor!

A sheriff walks into a saloon and 
shouts for everyone's attention.
"Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?"

"What's he look like?", asks one 
shoddy-looking cowboy.

"Well", replies the Sheriff. 
"He wears a brown paper 
hat, a brown paper waist-
coat, a brown paper shirt, 
brown paper boots, brown
paper pants, and a brown 
paper jacket."

"So what's he wanted for?", 
asks the same cowboy.


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Professor Howdy said...

A dog walks into Western Union and asks the clerk to send a telegram.
He fills out a form on which he writes down the telegram he wishes to
send: "Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow."

The clerk says, "You can add another 'Bow wow' for the same price."

"But," the dog responded, "wouldn't that sound a little silly?"

Anonymous said...

Dear Prof Howdy,

Here's something a friend who has cancer sent me the other
day--I thought it might be good for you to stick in with
your other more serious quotes...

"We are leaving the land of the dying and going to the land
of the living. As we lay dying we are almost well. All of
us will live forever. The question is "Where"... Powerful
words which bear a lot of thought."

Keep up the good work,
Rachel (Europe)

Professor Howdy said...

To err is human, but it's against school policy.

Professor Howdy said...

Things That Take Years to Learn
The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number
of helicopters in it.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby
emerging from her at that moment.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that
word would be "meetings."

The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to
annoy people who are not in them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Professor Howdy said...

Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus
collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday,
according to the Associated Press.

Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied..

Professor Howdy said...

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong
number and got a private home instead.

"Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.

"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. But I have
a wife and eight children."

"Is that a record?" she inquired.

"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."


All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching,
rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that
the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
--2 Timothy 3

Professor Howdy said...

A UNC student asked and received help from a librarian on
how to use the card catalog. In a little while, the UNC student
approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell "tequila."

"T-e-q-u-i-l-a," spelled the librarian, as the girl thanked her and
went back to her search. A short time later she came to the desk,
looking quite distraught.

"I just can't find it." she said.
"What book are you looking for?" the librarian asked.

Replied the UNC student, "Tequila Mockingbird."

Professor Howdy said...

The latest fad (2003) in the world of toys is pop musician action figures.
McFarlane Toys makes a miniature Alice Cooper figure with a little
guillotine, a little severed head, and a little basket to catch it in.
*From Art Asylum comes an Eminem figure, screaming and swinging a
chainsaw, his face distorted with rage and malice. That's only the
beginning: The next Eminem action figure will include a dead woman in a
car trunk, memorializing the lyrics and cover of the rapper's first
album. The company's promotional literature says that "the traditional
jack-in-the-box, once the king of every kid's toy box, is being
reinvented for the twenty-first century." Its slogan is "Psycho Toyz
for Crazy Kidz," and they are being sold in toy stores.

You would expect widespread shock, outrage, and horror over this. But
if you're expecting any of these things, you'd better revise your
expectations. Nobody seems to care. Commenting on Eminem's fantasies of
incest, one music critic writes that he is just "one of those charming
rogues" -- "indubitably dangerous" but "exceptionally witty,"
"thoughtful," and "good-hearted." The critic says that if these things
bother you, you need to "disable your prejudgment button." Prejudgment
means judging before the facts are in, but he isn't asking us to delay
judgment about whether the music is evil. He more or less admits that
it is. What he means is that we should delay judgment about whether or
not evil can be fun.

In his powerful book WHAT WE CAN'T NOT KNOW, J. Budziszewski says we
shouldn't be surprised by any of this. Our society has been
desensitized to evil. Desensitization is one of the ways that an
organism adapts to its environment. If you touch the tiny creature
called a hydra, it flinches. But if you touch it fifty times, by the
fiftieth touch the flinch is much less pronounced. Eventually the hydra
stops flinching.

Like the hydra, we too have been desensitized. "Mainstream" movies
outdo the ancient Roman amphitheater by showing every spurt of blood
close up and ten feet tall. Video games allow the player to feel that
every time a victim is stabbed, shot, dismembered, eviscerated,
decapitated, or burned to death, he is doing the killing himself. Lust
and gore beyond the dreams of cruelty fall into our waiting hands.
Hardly a word of protest is heard; merely the ironic murmur, "We need
more research."

You see what has happened. We were touched by abomination, and we
flinched. But nothing seemed to happen. We were touched again and
again. And by the five-hundredth touch, we stopped flinching. But
something did happen. We've become the sort of people who endure the
abominable touch and have ceased to notice.

In his excellent book WHAT WE CAN'T NOT KNOW, J. Budziszewski explains
how we got into this mess and what we need to do to get out of it. I
know of no better resource for understanding the effects of sin on our
contemporary culture.

By the grace of God, the task before us is to be re-sensitized. Instead
of "adapting" to our fallen society, we need to seek to be salt and
light so that our culture might be redeemed. (Chuck Colson)

In WHAT WE CAN'T NOT KNOW J. Budziszewski, author of the acclaimed
sets out to explore the lost world of common moral truths -- what we all
really know about right and wrong. Bolstering the confidence of plain
people in their common moral sense, Budziszewski explains its rational
foundations and why it is under attack. His bracing account will prepare
those who wish to defend common truths to address the uncertain, the
disoriented, and the self-deceived in a way which may bring them back
to moral sanity.

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