Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture!
First Published In The Last Century - July 26, 1997!
Over 9 Million Hits!
An Amusement Park Of Ideas! #ProfHowdy
Dear Howdy, ! Whats up? So are you a guy or girl?And how old are you? And where do ya live? Wellaren't I just full of questions!! Anyway yeah I like youremails, they're cute! LOL Well i gotta go nowSo' email me !C ya.~Jennifer~
"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to own theirdependence upon the overruling power of God and torecognize the sublime truth announced in the Holy Scripturesand proven by all history, that those nations only are blessedwhose God is the Lord." --Abraham Lincoln*************************"Information? I need the number of theCaseway Insurance Company.""Would you spell that, please?""Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E asin eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.""Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."*************************TRIVIA:Snails sleep a lot. In addition to several months of winterhibernation, they crawl into their shells to get out of thehot sun, which dries them, or heavy rain, which waterlogsthem. Desert snails may even doze for three or four years.***The sport with the largest expenses (medical, legal, andothers) due to injuries treated in U.S. emergency rooms in1995 was bicycling, with costs exceeding $4 billion. Morethan half a million bicycling injuries were documented. Ahuge percentage of those injuries were head injuries,which could have been prevented had riders worn protectivehelmets.***The purpose of the indentation at the bottom of a winebottle is to strengthen the structure of the bottle and totrap the sediments in the wine.***SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUTPecans vary in size, from thirty to ninety nuts per pound. Nonuts are produced until the trees are at least five years old.***On December 15, 1854, Philadelphia began using the firststreet-cleaning machine***The expression "knuckle down" originated with marbles –players put knuckles to the ground for their best shots.***A newborn gray whale calf is an average 16 feet long. Forreasons unknown, all gray whale calves are born in the warm,shallow lagoons of Baja, California.???WHAT IS THE ONLY U.S. STATE CAPITAL WITHOUT A MCDONALD'S?Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital withouta McDonald's.***LOOK OUT EYOREIt has been medically proven that pessimism raises bloodpressure. The more pessimistic a person is, the more likelyhe or she is to die earlier than optimistic counterparts.***WHAT PLANET HAS NO MAGNETIC FIELDS OR SATELLITES?Venus has no magnetic field, perhaps because of its slowrotation. It also has no satellites.*************************Undoubtedly, many of you have seen the "priceless" credit card commercials.In these commercials, the viewer is shown several things he or she canpurchase (with the right credit card.) Each of these items is thenfollowed by the price. But it is the final thing mentioned which providesthe punch line—and the reason for buying all of the previous things. Itis something that you cannot purchase. The comment then, as thecommercial comes to an end is: "Priceless."I do not claim to know much about the field of marketing, but thisapproach strikes me as an incredibly cunning tactic. They convince theconsumer to spend more money by appealing to the heart with the simpletruth that money cannot buy everything! In a consumer driven world, thereverse psychology is certainly clever, but might it also communicate acertain awareness?The fact is, it is hard to argue with the many social observers includinga former Vice President who once noted: "The accumulation of materialgoods is at an all-time high, but so is the number of people who feel anemptiness in their lives." Indeed, it is no longer uncommon to hear thetestimonies—sometimes tragically, of individuals who have made it to thetop, made their million, or the fame they so diligently pursued only tofind there that same sense of inadequacy and loneliness. Perhaps we havebegun to see the bankruptcy of materialism, the fleeting nature of successand fame, and the weariness that arises within the incessant human desirefor “more.” Perhaps we have begun to see that it is true, as a wise manonce said, that man cannot live by bread alone.In fact, many lives have wrestled with the truth of that famous phrasedepicted in the Gospel of Matthew. The story explains that after 40 daysof fasting, the famished Jesus is tempted by Satan to turn stones intobread. But Christ responds, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but byevery word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Footnote 1: Matthew 4)Can you see the infinite wisdom in denying that temptation? Jesus proclaimsthe word of God more vital to life than anything else, more sustainingthan any material thing that can satisfy any of our countless desires andcravings.Christ reminds us of what we already know: there are many fleeting thingsin this world, including our own cravings. But the Word of God withstandsthe test of time. And truly, his words pierce the very heart of ourmaterially distracted and sensory preoccupied world even today. Throughthe prophet Isaiah, God asks, “Why do you spend your money for that whichis not bread, and labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen carefullyto me, and eat what is good… Incline your ear, and come to me; listen sothat you may live.” (Footnote 2: Isaiah 55:2-3)You see, man cannot live by bread alone, nor by credit card or statusalone because we are not simply creatures whose purpose in life is exactedby possession or accomplishment. In the wisdom of journalist MalcolmMuggeridge, the only ultimate disaster that can befall us is to feel athome here on earth. The word of God urges us to see more: To see aKingdom where moth and rust cannot destroy and thieves cannot break in andsteal. The treasure in Christ’s words, “Man shall not live by bread alonebut by every word that comes from the mouth of God” is truly priceless,for his words lead to Life. (Jill Carattini)*************************If you stop believing what your professor told youhad to be true and if you start thinking for yourselfyou may come to some conclusions you hadn'texpected. You may find the Bible makes moresense than you thought or were told to think.Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regardto what you always thought could be true. Canyou believe what you don't understand?Youand I believe everyday what we don't understandunless it comes to the issue to salvation.(Dr. Woodrow Kroll)*************************An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have theirspecial holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; andJews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and YomKippur. EVERY religion has its holidays. But we atheists, "he said,"have no recognized national holidays. It's an unfair discrimination."His friend replied, "Well... Why don't you celebrate April first?"*************************SAN FRANCISCO - The nation's oldest person, a 113-year-old woman whowitnessed the aftermath of the great San Francisco earthquake, enjoyed junkfood and lived alone until she turned 102, has died.Born June 12, 1889, in Taunton, Mass., Christian moved with her family toSan Pablo. She was a teenager working at an East Bay chocolate factory whenshe watched flames engulf San Francisco following the 1906 earthquake.
Known as the Queen Of The Skies, the Boeing 747 has been incommercial service since 1970. It was the first wide-body long-hauljet, and it is still a mainstay of intercontinental passenger travel.A fully loaded 747 weighs more than 400 tons (of which 40% is fuel),and its four engines deliver about 280 million watts of power for athrust of about 1,100,000 Newtons (250,000 pounds). Onintercontinental flights it can travel for more than 12 hours nonstop.Originally, the 747 was intended for cargo flights, but whensupersonic planes never caught on, the 747 became the world's favoritelong-haul jet. A 747-400 (the latest model, which has small wingletsat the wing tips) can carry as many as 524 people across the planetat almost 90% of the speed of sound.
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