UNC Hunting!

UNC Humor by Prof Howdy

Three UNC* students went hunting 
over their Summer Break. The first 
thing they did was to get permission 
to hunt on a friends wooded land. 
Their friend told them if they got 
lost to fire three times into the air 
and he would come and find them 
and lead them out of the woods.

After three hours of hunting, 

the students had not had any 
luck and were tired. Not only 
that they were lost.

The first Carolina student fired 

three times into the air and sat 
down to wait. After an hour, the 
second student got up and fired 
three times into the air and sat 
down to wait.

By this time it was getting dark. 
The third UNC student got up, 
fired three times into the air 
and said, "I sure hope he gets 
here fast, I am out of arrows".

*Please see "comments"
for additional pertinent 

& germane information.

Google: T3H7P12H


Professor Howdy said...


DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the
strained carrots.

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even
though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything
we say.

OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry
shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and
to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make
those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house

Professor Howdy said...

Computer Age

*What boots up must come down.
*Fax is stranger than fiction.
*Don't byte off more than you can view.
*The geek shall inherit the earth.
*The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
*Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him
to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

Professor Howdy said...


~ If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it
too slowly.

~ Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices &
strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

~ The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home
from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

~ Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll
take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

~ A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily
intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

~ If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top
of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they
will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

~ If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate,
is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

~ Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

~ Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

Professor Howdy said...

The humble potato chip is more popular in America than in any other
part of the world. America's favorite snack food, it is a direct
descendant of another popular potato snack, the french fry. How did it happen?

According to the popular story, a dinner guest (rumored to have been
wealthy railroad tycoon Cornelius Vanderbilt) was dining at Moon's
Lake House in Saratoga Springs, New York in 1853. He sent his french
fries back to the kitchen because they were too thick. The chef, a
Native American named George Crum, was annoyed at the guest's
complaint, so he responded by slicing the potatoes into extremely
thin sections, which he fried in oil and salted.

*From that day forward, potato chips evolved into the many forms and
varieties we have today including chips of many flavors, fat-free
potato chips cooked in high-tech synthetic chemicals, and even
artificially shaped chips pressed from potato pulp and sold in
cardboard tubes.

Professor Howdy said...

*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) Senate Dinosaurs
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring


*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), N.U.T., A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State. UNC
is a trademark of Underachievers of North Carolina...

Professor Howdy said...

Two rules for life:
1.Don't tell people everything you know.

Professor Howdy said...

In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights ...
dousing and bombarding one another with water from squirt guns, glasses,
balloons, even wastebaskets. Since each room had a sink, there was
endless ammunition. The most frequent target was the Resident Assistant.

Approaching his room one afternoon, the Resident Assistant noticed his
door was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on the door's edge,
ready to fall on him. As he took down the pail and emptied it into his
sink, he thought: Those crazy guys actually thought they could fool me with
that old gag! It was then he realized that "those crazy guys" had removed
the drainpipe beneath his sink.

moi said...

thank you for your visit.
The doorman of danceteria alemã

Professor Howdy said...

I love thee as I love the swell,
And hush, of some low strain,
Which bringeth, by its gentle spell,
The past to life again.
Such is the feeling which from thee
Nought earthly can allure:
'Tis ever link'd to all I see
Of gifted--high--and pure!

by Eliza Acton, 1799-1859

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