Monday

Tall Tale #1



Dear Prof Howdy,


Once when I was much younger,

my family went to the beach.
My Dad went into the water
up to his shoulders and asked
me to swim to him.

I started but went I got near

to him, he ducked under water
and I swam right past him!

I swam & swam until I reached

land and saw this big tower
and people speaking French!!!

MLH

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5 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident.
They
were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them
died
before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the
American, he stirred and opened his eyes.

Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a
beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were
standing
at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were
all too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return
to
the earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50,
and
the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the
other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over
the
price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."

Ron Hutchcraft said...

During two weeks that I call "The Ice Age" in our area, a car slid into our vehicle in a parking lot. So the right side looked pretty ugly. Interestingly enough, that damage didn't affect the performance of our car at all. Like so many older cars we've had over the years, the outside was banged up but the engine was running fine.

It's possible for you and me to run that way, too. Did you know that? Hit hard and dented on the outside, but still running strong on the inside. A hit to the chassis doesn't have to mean a hit to the engine, and that's what keeps you going.

This "banged up but running well" phenomenon is explained in our word for today from the Word of God. In 2 Corinthians 4, beginning in verse 16, Paul says, "We do not lose heart." Now, that's pretty significant in light of the fact that earlier in the chapter he tells us about their being "hard pressed on every side, perplexed, persecuted, struck down." But in spite of all those hits, they are not "crushed," he says, or "in despair" or "abandoned" or "destroyed." If you've taken some hits lately, you might be interested in how Paul keeps his engine running so smoothly.

2 Corinthians 4:16 says, "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." Just because you're battered on the outside doesn't mean you have to be battered on the inside. Just because you're running down on the outside doesn't mean you have to run down on the inside. Just because you're body is sick doesn't mean your spirit has to be sick. You can lose your job, your health, your loved one, your stuff, but you don't have to lose heart! That's a choice you make!

Paul has come to know his Lord as the Renewer; the One who refuels and refreshes his spirit each new day. Remember, God has promised that those who are weary and weak but wait on Him will "renew their strength" and "soar on wings like eagles" (Isaiah 40:31). How does it happen? First, you get God's perspective. That perspective recognizes the difference between what about this situation is "temporary" and what about this situation is "eternal." We can say of any earth-burden what my wife and I used to say when our kids were going through the roller coaster junior high years, "TTSP" - "This too shall pass." That perspective makes the burdens bearable. They're heavy, they hurt, but they're only hurt for a little while.

Secondly, you have to focus on God's payoff. Paul refuses to get mired in the present troubles; they are temporary. He focuses instead on the "eternal glory" that's going to be his for being victorious through these troubles. He tells us to "fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen...what is eternal." At that point, your troubles suddenly seem relatively "light and momentary," as Paul says.

A car can be hit hard and it can be all banged up, but that doesn't have to affect its performance. It's the condition of the engine that counts. You can be hit hard and all banged up, but it doesn't have to affect your performance. It's the condition of your spirit that counts. And God stands ready to jump start your spirit each new day if you'll focus on your Lord and not on your load.


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Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?


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Professor Howdy said...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will
make your paths straight. Pr 3:5

Professor Howdy said...

For some time now, I've been telling you that the Christian worldview is the only worldview that provides us with a rational way to live in the world. It's the only worldview that we can live with.

We simply can't live with the logical outcomes of other worldviews like secular naturalism, new age-ism, or Freudianism.

And thanks to the daily news, I'm never short of material to prove it. A group of mostly female students is suing Yale University for allowing a "sexually hostile environment" to exist on campus.

The women, of course, have a point. After all, when frat boys are allowed to parade around the old campus chanting "No Means Yes," or to hold up signs that read "We Love Yale Sluts," I guess you could say that's a sexually hostile environment.

But may I ask a question? What did you expect?

The disgusting, intimidating behavior at Yale -- and on many college campuses -- is a classic example of the post-modern impasse. For nearly 50 years, academia, the feminist movement, and post-modern society have embraced sexual freedom as the ultimate good.

And the feminists led the way. They wanted to control their bodies; to be free from any consequences of sexual license.

Well, guess what. If you promote sexual license -- especially on campuses -- what do you get? That's right. Sexual license. You approve and encourage immoral behavior, and then you're surprised when young men don't behave like gentlemen? Are you kidding me?

And as for Yale...What else would you expect at a university when every year its hosts a campus-wide event called "Sex week," where students get to attend seminars on sexual practices, presentations by sex workers, and plenty of porn films?

As an aside: Parents, before you send your daughter off to college, do some homework about life on campus. Why send your daughter to a school that promotes such promiscuity?

But back to my point: The women of Yale have discovered that they can't live with the post-modern, sexually licentious Freudian worldview. It doesn't work. It leads to moral chaos.

Where might you think such students would find a safer, more congenial environment? Perhaps at an institution that still clings to the Judeo-Christian worldview and the ethical principles that shaped Western Civilization. Does the Christian view of sex promote intimidation, harassment, and brutish behavior like we're seeing at Yale, or does it promote moral and ethical virtue?

Well, it ought to be obvious. All worldviews are not equal. But that's a controversial thing to say in this relativistic age. But examine any particular worldview, follow it to its logical conclusions, and you'll discover whether we can live with the consequences. - Chuck Colson

Professor Howdy said...

Back in February, Obama's director of the Office of Management and Budget, Jacob Lew, promoted the White House's allegedly draconian budget cuts in The New York Times.

Saying Obama was going to cut the 2012 budget to the bone, Lew droned on about the "difficult" cuts to "important" programs and the "many tough choices and deep cuts" in the proposed budget.

All told, the White House's brutal, Depression-era austerity plan would have snipped a couple of billion from our multi-trillion dollar federal budget.

When the Republicans proposed that, instead of cutting a few billion, the government chop $60 billion from the budget, Democrats went ballistic. They said it was madness. Republicans were proposing to bring back the miserly federal budget of 2008!

You heard me right: Those lunatics were going to roll back the federal spending clock ... almost three years!

You remember the hellish, "Lord of the Flies" days of 2008 when veterans hospitals were shuttered, Social Security checks ceased to be delivered, our military was stripped of ammunition, national parks were closed and stoplights went dark.

Wait, no -- none of that happened.

But Democrats control the Senate and the White House, and the media were gearing up to blame Republicans for any government shutdown.

The Republicans seemed to be cornered. Between their $60 billion in cuts and the Democrats' proposed cuts of a few billion, it looked as if Democrats were going to succeed in putting the country on a high-speed bullet train to Zimbabwe.

And then, totally by accident, Republicans stumbled onto the Democrats' Achilles heel. Among their specific defunding proposals, Republicans had suggested taking mere peanuts away from Planned Parenthood.

The Democrats responded: NO! WE'LL CUT 40 BILLION! JUST DON'T TOUCH PLANNED PARENTHOOD!

All the Republicans had to do was threaten to cut federal funding for abortion, and they won $40 billion in spending cuts overnight.

I don't think Republicans did it deliberately. I'm pretty sure they just wanted to cut funding for Planned Parenthood. But, holy cow, did they find the Democrats' weak spot!

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid threatened to shut down the government to save abortions in the District of Columbia. Reid, who is known as a "pro-life Democrat," said cutting Planned Parenthood's funding was the "one issue" on which he would not budge.

Comedy Central's allegedly serious Catholic, Stephen Colbert, spent a week ridiculing Sen. Jon Kyl's response to Reid for saying Planned Parenthood had nothing to do with abortion, but mostly provided things like cholesterol screening. - Ann Coulter

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