UNC Bride!

A new young UNC grad calls her 

mother in tears.

She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate 
what I do for him."

"Now, now," her mother comforted, 
"I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

"No, mother," you don't understand.

"I bought a frozen turkey roll and 

he yelled and screamed at me about 
the price!"

"Well, the nerve of that lousy 
cheapskate!" says her mom. 
"Those turkey rolls are only 
a few dollars."

"No, mother it wasn't the price 
of the turkey, it was the airplane 

"Airplane ticket.... What did you need 

an airplane ticket for?"

"Well mother, when I went to fix it, 
I looked at the directions on the 
package and it said -

'Prepare from a frozen state,' 

so I flew to Alaska!"

First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture


Professor Howdy said...

An account executive at a stock-and-bond firm telephoned
a UNC grad client who had purchased her first stock - one
hundred shares of Proctor & Gamble. He told her that he
had just heard they were going to split.

"Oh! What a shame." she lamented. "I'm so sorry to hear that.
And, they've been together for so long, too."

Professor Howdy said...

What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A Stick.

What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.

Bacon & eggs: Hens are involved, but pigs are committed.

Professor Howdy said...

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a thin bearded
man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.

"Who is it on that island?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I have no idea..... but every year when we pass, he just goes nuts."

Professor Howdy said...

Why Am I Here:

Click Here


'Thought & Humor'
has been read in all 50 States,
all 230 Countries, 7 Continents, Oxford, Cambridge,
every Ivy League School & all major American
Universities including UNC!!!


The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D.,
failed to stamp the Bible out. The French Revolution could not
crush it with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes,
converted to Christianity). The Communists failed to stamp it
out with atheism and political ideology. One might well ask why
this book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with such
animosity and scorn. The great Reformation hero John Calvin
responds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word.
they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly or
reluctantly." - Joe Boot


To find out how you can begin a personal
relationship with Jesus Christ, please call:

1-888-NEED HIM.


Click Here
Click Here

Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?

Click Here
Click Here


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(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')

Leroy Jethro Gibbs said...


Anonymous said...

An interesting and revealing report on the 2012 election campaign.
Last week Mr. Obama announced that he was a candidate for re-election,
and began his campaign -- or at least the fund-raising part of it. His opening
shot was a video titled: "It Begins With Us." According to statistics released
by YouTube, the Obama campaign video had 345,146 views during its first
week. By contrast, a spoof video from the National Republican Senatorial
Committee titled "President Barack Obama's First Video Ad of 2012"
had 1,060,612 views in that week -- almost 3 times as many as for the
official Obama video. As to what this disparity means, our only comment is
the familiar slogan: "We report, you decide."

All over the world Christians are being persecuted for their faith,
and we who are still free to worship as we choose should faithfully keep
them in our prayers. The organization, "Open Doors," provides this listing of
the top 10 worst nations in persecution of Christians: 1. North Korea; 2.Iran;
3. Afghanistan; 4. Saudi Arabia; 5. Somalia; 6. Maldives; 7. Yemen; 8. Iraq;
9. Uzbekistan; 10. Laos. China, where we read of so much persecution of
Christians, ranks 16th out of the 50 top offenders.

Snapshot of economic facts:
Oil prices have risen 133% since Obama took office.
Gasoline prices have risen 70.5% since Obama took office.
The national average is now $3.79 a gallon. (Accordng to AAA)
$5.00 a gallon is not yet a fact, but an expectation -- and soon.

Professor Howdy said...

For I am constantly aware of Your unfailing love, and I have lived according to Your truth. - Psalms 26:3

Professor Howdy said...

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