Monday

UNC Bride!




A new young UNC grad calls her 

mother in tears.

She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate 
what I do for him."


"Now, now," her mother comforted, 
"I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."


"No, mother," you don't understand.

"I bought a frozen turkey roll and 

he yelled and screamed at me about 
the price!"


"Well, the nerve of that lousy 
cheapskate!" says her mom. 
"Those turkey rolls are only 
a few dollars."


"No, mother it wasn't the price 
of the turkey, it was the airplane 
ticket."

"Airplane ticket.... What did you need 

an airplane ticket for?"


"Well mother, when I went to fix it, 
I looked at the directions on the 
package and it said -

'Prepare from a frozen state,' 

so I flew to Alaska!"



Dr. Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture

8 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

An account executive at a stock-and-bond firm telephoned
a UNC grad client who had purchased her first stock - one
hundred shares of Proctor & Gamble. He told her that he
had just heard they were going to split.

"Oh! What a shame." she lamented. "I'm so sorry to hear that.
And, they've been together for so long, too."

Professor Howdy said...

What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A Stick.



What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.



Bacon & eggs: Hens are involved, but pigs are committed.

Professor Howdy said...

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a thin bearded
man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.

"Who is it on that island?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I have no idea..... but every year when we pass, he just goes nuts."

Professor Howdy said...


Why Am I Here:


Click Here



===============



'Thought & Humor'
has been read in all 50 States,
all 230 Countries, 7 Continents, Oxford, Cambridge,
every Ivy League School & all major American
Universities including UNC!!!


===============




The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D.,
failed to stamp the Bible out. The French Revolution could not
crush it with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes,
converted to Christianity). The Communists failed to stamp it
out with atheism and political ideology. One might well ask why
this book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with such
animosity and scorn. The great Reformation hero John Calvin
responds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word.
they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly or
reluctantly." - Joe Boot


===============




To find out how you can begin a personal
relationship with Jesus Christ, please call:

1-888-NEED HIM.




===============



Click Here
Click Here


Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?

http://everystudent.com/menus/intl.html

Click Here
Click Here


===============




Your very own library


Click Here

(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')

Leroy Jethro Gibbs said...

IS THIS WHAT WE WANT FOR AMERICA?

http://evangelicalviewpoint2006.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

An interesting and revealing report on the 2012 election campaign.
Last week Mr. Obama announced that he was a candidate for re-election,
and began his campaign -- or at least the fund-raising part of it. His opening
shot was a video titled: "It Begins With Us." According to statistics released
by YouTube, the Obama campaign video had 345,146 views during its first
week. By contrast, a spoof video from the National Republican Senatorial
Committee titled "President Barack Obama's First Video Ad of 2012"
had 1,060,612 views in that week -- almost 3 times as many as for the
official Obama video. As to what this disparity means, our only comment is
the familiar slogan: "We report, you decide."

All over the world Christians are being persecuted for their faith,
and we who are still free to worship as we choose should faithfully keep
them in our prayers. The organization, "Open Doors," provides this listing of
the top 10 worst nations in persecution of Christians: 1. North Korea; 2.Iran;
3. Afghanistan; 4. Saudi Arabia; 5. Somalia; 6. Maldives; 7. Yemen; 8. Iraq;
9. Uzbekistan; 10. Laos. China, where we read of so much persecution of
Christians, ranks 16th out of the 50 top offenders.

Snapshot of economic facts:
Oil prices have risen 133% since Obama took office.
Gasoline prices have risen 70.5% since Obama took office.
The national average is now $3.79 a gallon. (Accordng to AAA)
$5.00 a gallon is not yet a fact, but an expectation -- and soon.

Professor Howdy said...

For I am constantly aware of Your unfailing love, and I have lived according to Your truth. - Psalms 26:3

Professor Howdy said...

Our Blog Readers' Locations Today:


State/Region Country
41 Hits 8.20% Michigan United States
39 Hits 7.80% California United States
23 Hits 4.60% Georgia United States
16 Hits 3.20% Florida United States
15 Hits 3.00% Pennsylvania United States
14 Hits 2.80% Texas United States
14 Hits 2.80% Catalonia Spain
13 Hits 2.60% North Carolina United States
13 Hits 2.60% Ontario Canada
11 Hits 2.20% Ohio United States
10 Hits 2.00% Ile-de-france France
10 Hits 2.00% Illinois United States
9 Hits 1.80% Colorado United States
9 Hits 1.80% Connecticut United States
8 Hits 1.60% Missouri United States
8 Hits 1.60% South Carolina United States
8 Hits 1.60% Singapore
7 Hits 1.40% Oklahoma United States
6 Hits 1.20% Andhra Pradesh India
6 Hits 1.20% Swansea United Kingdom
6 Hits 1.20% Provence-alpes-cote D'azur France
6 Hits 1.20% Budapest Hungary
5 Hits 1.00% Kansas United States
5 Hits 1.00% Victoria Australia
5 Hits 1.00% Alabama United States
5 Hits 1.00% Wisconsin United States
5 Hits 1.00% Arizona United States
4 Hits 0.80% British Columbia Canada
4 Hits 0.80% Washington United States
4 Hits 0.80% Edinburgh United Kingdom
4 Hits 0.80% New Jersey United States
4 Hits 0.80% Indiana United States
4 Hits 0.80% Chisinau Moldova, Republic Of
4 Hits 0.80% New South Wales Australia
4 Hits 0.80% Nordrhein-westfalen Germany
4 Hits 0.80% Campania Italy
4 Hits 0.80% New York United States
4 Hits 0.80% Louisiana United States
4 Hits 0.80% United States
4 Hits 0.80% Maharashtra India
3 Hits 0.60% Saskatchewan Canada
3 Hits 0.60% Mazowieckie Poland
3 Hits 0.60% Constanta Romania
3 Hits 0.60% Virginia United States
3 Hits 0.60% Jakarta Raya Indonesia
3 Hits 0.60% Lazio Italy
3 Hits 0.60% Tamil Nadu India
3 Hits 0.60% Delhi India
3 Hits 0.60% Wyoming United States
3 Hits 0.60% Karnataka India
3 Hits 0.60% Quebec Canada
3 Hits 0.60% Haryana India
3 Hits 0.60% Arkansas United States
2 Hits 0.40% Puglia Italy
2 Hits 0.40% San Salvador El Salvador
2 Hits 0.40% Balikesir Turkey
2 Hits 0.40% Baghdad Iraq
2 Hits 0.40% Vastra Gotaland Sweden
2 Hits 0.40% Kent United Kingdom
2 Hits 0.40% Male Maldives
2 Hits 0.40% Angeles Philippines
2 Hits 0.40% Gelderland Netherlands
2 Hits 0.40% Esfahan Iran, Islamic Republic Of
2 Hits 0.40% Gauteng South Africa
2 Hits 0.40% Rhode Island United States
2 Hits 0.40% Norway
2 Hits 0.40% Distrito Federal Brazil
2 Hits 0.40% Ash Sharqiyah Saudi Arabia
2 Hits 0.40% Hessen Germany
2 Hits 0.40% Gujarat India
2 Hits 0.40% Dhaka Bangladesh
2 Hits 0.40% Oregon United States
2 Hits 0.40% London United Kingdom
2 Hits 0.40% Cebu City Philippines
2 Hits 0.40% Kuala Lumpur Malaysia
2 Hits 0.40% Western Sri Lanka
2 Hits 0.40% Queensland Australia
2 Hits 0.40% Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates
2 Hits 0.40% Buenos Aires Argentina
2 Hits 0.40% Ar Riyad Saudi Arabia
2 Hits 0.40% Dubai United Arab Emirates
2 Hits 0.40% Norte De Santander Colombia
2 Hits 0.40% Castilla Y Leon Spain
2 Hits 0.40% Pernambuco Brazil
2 Hits 0.40% Rio Grande Do Sul Brazil
2 Hits 0.40% New Hampshire United States

Follow T&H!