Monday

A Certain UNC Student...

                                                  A 'T&H' Reader:



Did you hear about the UNC student that...

1. Took her new scarf back to the store
because it was too tight.
2. Couldn't learn to water ski because
she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
3. Can't work in a pharmacy because the
bottles won't fit into the typewriter.



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7 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

Read what you have time for below
& save the residuum for a stormy/
blustery/dilatory interval while
the charming/exquisite/vernal/
aestival season is bursting out all
over. Our goal is to promote a non-
threatening and productive office
& university environment and to
establish language that is gender-
neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-
neutral while celebrating our spirit
of diversity.


===============






The student was flying a solo cross-country in his primary trainer.
He lost his way and before he finally ran out of fuel he decided to
put the aircraft down on a road. With hardly any cars on the road
he managed to coast his aircraft into a gas station and said to the
attendant, "Fill 'er up!" The attendant just looked at the pilot. "I bet
you don't get too many airplanes asking for a refuel," said the student
pilot. The attendant replied: "True, most pilots use that airport just
over there."

Professor Howdy said...

Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way
through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail
address. We welcome all our great readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your
weekly entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic
but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious
and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....




===============



UNC PROF: John, why are you doing your
math multiplications on the floor?

UNC* SOPH: You told me to do it without
using tables!

________
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.

===============








A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2
servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I consume about
3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of
weight per week.

Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 years, I have had chocolate caloric
intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165 pounds.

So... without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about
3 months ago! I owe my life to chocolate!!

Professor Howdy said...

According to Boston University - more than 16,580 bananas
are eaten each week in the Boston University dining rooms.








===============


Why Am I Here: http://www.needhim.org/
===============






President Ulysses S. Grant was once arrested during his
term of office. He was convicted of exceeding the Washington
speed limit on his horse and was fined $20.

Professor Howdy said...

Current 'T & H' Readers
(at this very moment)


Num Perc. Country Name
drill down 358 78.51% United States United States
drill down 18 3.95% United Kingdom United Kingdom
drill down 12 2.63% Myanmar Myanmar
drill down 8 1.75% Canada Canada
drill down 7 1.54% India India
drill down 7 1.54% Singapore Singapore
drill down 6 1.32% Philippines Philippines
drill down 5 1.10% Slovakia Slovakia
drill down 5 1.10% Germany Germany
drill down 5 1.10% Sweden Sweden
drill down 3 0.66% Unknown -
drill down 3 0.66% Australia Australia
drill down 3 0.66% Ireland Ireland
drill down 2 0.44% United Arab Emirates United Arab Emirates
drill down 2 0.44% Indonesia Indonesia
drill down 2 0.44% Korea, Republic Of Korea, Republic Of
drill down 2 0.44% Italy Italy
drill down 2 0.44% Taiwan Taiwan
drill down 2 0.44% Denmark Denmark
drill down 2 0.44% France France
drill down 1 0.22% Kuwait Kuwait
drill down 1 0.22% Brazil Brazil

Anonymous said...

Good morning
Howdy... it's a nice song !
Thank you!
.....*

Rodrigo A. Quiroga said...

Goog nigt Brother. Hasta otra oportunidad.

Professor Howdy said...

THE SEED

A successful Christian business man was growing old and knew it was time to chose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do something different.

He called all the young executives in his company together.

"It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO," he said. "I have decided to choose one of you."

The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a seed today - a very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed.

He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed.

Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by - still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - he so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened.

Jim felt sick at his stomach. It was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right.

He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed. A few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back.

"My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO.

"Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the financial director to bring him to the front.

Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed. Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Here is your next Chief Executive! His name is Jim!"

Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said?

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed.

I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers.

"When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!"

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.

If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.

If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.

If you plant hard work, you will reap success.

If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation. .

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.

Follow T&H!