Male vs. Female! #ProfHowdy

Things you'll never hear a man say:

1) Here honey, you use the remote.
2) While I'm up, can I get you anything?
3) Aww, forget Monday Night football,
    let's watch a "chick flick.."
4) Hey, let me hold your purse while
    you try that on.
5) We never talk anymore.

Things you'll never hear a woman say:

1) What do you mean today's our anniversary?
2) Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd
    rather just watch TV.
3) Ohh, this diamond is way to big!
4) Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure
    you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
5) I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way
    to much for a designer dress.


Professor Howdy said...

A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he`s on a beach.
The sand is purple. He can`t believe it. The sky is purple. He
walks around a bit and sees that there is purple grass, purple
birds and purple fruit on the purple trees. He`s shocked when
he finds that his skin is starting to turn purple too.

"Oh no!!" he says, "I think I`ve been marooned!!"

Professor Howdy said...

A government employee sits in his office and, out of boredom,
decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the
contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice
on my mantelpiece," he decides and takes it home with him.

While he's polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three

"I wish for a Nice BIG Glass of Iced Tea right now!"

He gets his Iced tea and drinks it.

Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish,
"I wish to be on an island where all is peaceful and beautiful.

Suddenly he is on an island, filling his requirement and loving
everything he sees.

He tells the genie his third and final wish - "I wish I'd never have
to work ever again."

And, POOF! he's back in his government office.

Anonymous said...

Waiting 'til the Roof Caves in -

Many years ago, our state was America's Wild West. Out of that grew a pretty colorful state history, which I never knew much about before. But after a recent visit to the state capital, I came back with some interesting stories out of our past. I loved the story of the sagging roof on the original State House. The legislators had often been reminded that the roof needed to be replaced before something ugly happened. Well, they never got around to passing a bill to authorize that replacement. And then one day, with the Legislature in full session - you want to guess? The roof finally collapsed on the legislators. Thankfully, no one was seriously injured. And the next day, for some reason, they passed a bill for a new roof; the day after the old one fell on their heads!

I had to laugh at this great example of what it takes sometimes to get things moving. I stopped laughing when I realized that it's sometimes me that waits until the roof caves in before I do the right thing. Could it be you've made that mistake, too.

In an incredible dialog between King Solomon and the Lord, Solomon anticipates some of the critical issues that may arise in his nation's future. It's in our word for today from the Word of God in II Chronicles 6, beginning in verse 24. Solomon tells the Lord, "When Your people Israel have been defeated by an enemy (that's the roof falling in) because they have sinned against You (that's why it fell in) and when they turn back and confess Your name...then hear from heaven and forgive the sin of Your people ... and bring them back."

He then addresses another roof collapse, "when the heavens are shut up and there is no rain because Your people have sinned..." Then he goes on to talk about their dealing with their sin and God then sending the rain they're desperate for. Solomon uses other examples of the roof falling in on God's people - famine, plague, locusts, enemies besieging them, disaster, disease - and he asks God to redeem them when they again deal with their sin.

The culmination of this insightful spiritual analysis comes in the great revival verse, II Chronicles 7:14, preceded, of course, by II Chronicles 7:13. The Lord says, "When I shut up the heavens so there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among My people, if My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

The trick is to deal with things before that roof caves in, before the Lord has to lower the boom to get your attention. He escalates the pressure and the pain as we ignore His softer promptings to face what needs to be faced. Right now, God may be working in your heart, in your circumstances to get you to deal with some sin that you've refused to repent of, to face some important issues in your marriage, in the life of your family, in the way you do business, to deal with the lies, or the hurting words, or the destructive attitude, or your bitterness. There may be problems you keep sweeping under the rug, issues you won't confront, sins you won't repent of.

That may be why things haven't been working, why there's been so much frustration, so much pain. You've been blaming your environment, or your circumstances, or other people, when God's been trying to get you to look in the mirror and let Him fix the person you see there. He's been turning up the heat, trying to get your attention. Don't wait until the roof caves in.

Ron Hutchcraft

To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please visit: or call 1-888-966-7325.

Ron Hutchcraft said...

Every once in a while we had the treat of seeing a guinea hen in our backyard. My wife was talking to a neighbor about guinea fowl, and he told us some interesting discoveries he had made about them. Apparently, they have this amazing ability to literally fly straight up when they have to. So, when a coyote is chasing a chicken, he's got a pretty good chance of having a chicken dinner because his prey takes off on an angle. But guinea fowl can just suddenly take off and go straight up thus seriously disappointing Mr. Coyote. Our neighbor said, "They're talented, but they're stupid!" That's because of a phenomenon he observed when some guinea hens were running in his wife's flower garden. They literally got lost in the flower patch and they just kept running back and forth, back and forth, actually trampling that flower garden. They just kept running. They were baffled as how to get out. Uh, guys look up! You can fly right out of here!

Unbelievable! The guinea fowl gets all worked up, running back and forth, wondering how to get out when all he has to do is look up. Wait a minute here. This sounds all too familiar.

See, Jesus describes how we do a lot of unnecessary worrying and running in our word for today from the Word of God. In Matthew 6, beginning in verse 25, Jesus says, "Do not worry about your life." In verse 28, He says, "Why do you worry?" In verse 31, His command is again, "Do not worry." Then He describes the guinea fowl-like race that many of us run and the "look up" that can liberate you from it.

Talking about the daily concerns of having enough stuff, Jesus says, "The pagans run after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Basically, Jesus is saying the anxiety level, the sanity of your life, depends on what you are pursuing, what you're really passionate about. If it's earth-stuff, welcome to Worry Land. If it's the stuff that matters to God, the things that will last forever, welcome to the realm of flying above all the insanity of life's trivial pursuits.

If you belong to Jesus Christ, I'm sure in your beliefs you think God's stuff is more important than earth-stuff. But you're daily living, your choices may suggest that the reverse is true. It could be that you've allowed yourself to get caught up in the race for what earth an earthbound definition of "financial security" trying to get lots of human approval and recognition. And you're running back and forth like a guinea hen in a flower garden. Oh, there's lots of activity, but not much progress.

The difference between personal peace and personal turmoil is an issue of priorities. Which kingdom are you putting first? If what matters to God, like your time with Him, your service for Him, the condition of your relationships; if those things have been shoved to the margins by other less eternal pursuits, then you're trapped in a race that knows no peace.

But you could look up today. You could see your higher calling to live for what will last. Your Heavenly Father knows your needs; you don't have to run all over the place trying to meet them. As the Bible says, "Set your heart on things above" and start to fly above that race that has worn you out and consumed your peace.

To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please visit:
Yours for Life or call 1-888-966-7325.

Professor Howdy said...

Sad? Lonely? Worried?



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