Monday

Attorney Humor!


An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.

"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.

"Judge Quincy has just died" said the attorney, " and I want to take his place."

Replied the governor: "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."





2 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

UNC* History Review
.



Lesson 1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they
all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The
climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to
live elsewhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they
made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any
ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten
commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.



3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred
porcupines.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without
them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths.
A myth is a female moth.



5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around
giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from
an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career
suffered a dramatic decline.

6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled
biscuits, and threw the java.



7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields
of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they
thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped
out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by
Bernard Shaw.



________
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.S. B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.

Professor Howdy said...


Your very own library


Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')

===============


Dr. Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture

===============

If you stop believing what your professor told you had to be true
and if you start thinking for yourself you may come to some
conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the Bible makes
more sense than you thought or were told to think. Allow yourself
to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you always thought could
be true. Can you believe what you don't understand? You and I
believe everyday what we don't understand unless it comes to
the issue of salvation. - - - Dr. Woodrow Kroll


===============

There is simply no historic foundation for the position that the
Framers intended to build the 'wall of separation' that was
constitutionalized in Everson. The 'wall of separation be-
tween church and state' is a metaphor based on bad history,
a metaphor which has proved useless as a guide to judging.
It should be frankly and explicitly abandoned.
- - - Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, William Rehnquist


===============


In 1796 the US Supreme Court issued this ruling, "By our form
of government, the Christian religion is the established religion,
and all sects and denominations of Christians are placed on
equal footing." Some 57 years later, after Congress was
petitioned to separate Christian principles from government,
in 1853 the House Judiciary Committee issued their formal
report, including these words: "In this age there is no substitute
for Christianity. This was the religion of the founders of the republic,
and they expected it to be the religion of their dependents. The
great vital, conservative elements in our system is the belief of
our people in the pure doctrines and divine truths of the gospel
of Jesus Christ." - - - Dr. Gerald Beavan

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