Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture!
First Published In The Last Century - July 26, 1997!
Over 9 Million Hits!
An Amusement Park Of Ideas! #ProfHowdy
The UNC student reported for her university final examinationthat consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat inthe examination hall, stares at the question paper for fiveminutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out herpurse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, markingthe answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest ofthe class is still sweating it out.During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwingthe coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed,approaches her and asks what is going on."I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm recheckingmy answers before lunch time."
If I could speak in anylanguage in heaven oron earth but didn't loveothers, I would only bemaking meaningless noiselike a loud gong or aclanging cymbal. If Ihad the gift of prophecy,and if I knew all themysteries of the futureand knew everythingabout everything, butdidn't love others, whatgood would I be? Andif I had the gift of faithso that I could speakto a mountain and makeit move, without loveI would be no good toanybody. If I gaveeverything I have tothe poor and evensacrificed my body,I could boast about it;but if I didn't love others,I would be of no valuewhatsoever. Love ispatient and kind. Loveis not jealous or boastfulor proud or rude. Lovedoes not demand itsown way. Love is notirritable, and it keepsno record of when ithas been wronged.It is never glad aboutinjustice but rejoiceswhenever the truthwins out. Love nevergives up, never losesfaith, is always hopeful,and endures throughevery circumstance.May You AlwaysExperience ThisKind Of Love,Dr. Howdy
An exhausted UNC grad dragged himself in to the Doctor's office."Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. Three of them inparticular are the worst. They bark all day and all night, and I can'tget a wink of sleep.""I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging througha drawer full of sample medications."Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of theseand your trouble will be over.""Great," the man answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."A few weeks later the man returned, looking worse than ever."Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!""I don't understand how that could be, said the doctor, shaking his head."Those are the strongest pills on the market!""That may be true," answered the man wearily, "but I'm still up all nightchasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him toswallow the pill!"
His Perfect Provision Every Thanksgiving should change us for the betteras we grow in our gratitude each year,And our eyes are opened to the blessings of heavensent down by the God that we fear.How vividly we're reminded by our banquets of foodthat the Lord of the Harvest is real.Praises should flow from hearts full of gratitudefor the blessings of all of our meals.Thanksgiving is a time of humility & celebrationbecause we're humbled by all He supplies.And we celebrate that Jehovah-Jireh is Godand He listens to all of our cries.Thanksgiving makes us grateful for the jobs that we haveand the satisfaction hard work can bring.For our sense of accomplishment is just another praisewe offer back at the feet of our King.Thanksgiving makes us realize our relationship to Godis like children looking for His open hand.For God sets our tables with His perfect provisionand the blessings He pours on the land. Sheila Gosney Psalm 92:1-5 NKJVA Psalm. A Song for the Sabbath day.It is good to give thanks to the LORD, And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning, And Your faithfulness every night, On an instrument of ten strings, On the lute, And on the harp, With harmonious sound. For You, LORD, have made me glad through Your work; I will triumph in the works of Your hands. O LORD, how great are Your works! Your thoughts are very deep. And remember the poor & helpless as you give thanks to God. “When you reap your harvest in your field, and forget a sheaf in the field, you shall not go back to get it; it shall be for the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow, that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands."Deuteronomy 24:29 NKJV
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