Monday

Uomo Sul Lavoro!




A difficult day at work!

7 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy.
-- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.

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The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives.
-- Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project.

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This fellow Charles Lindbergh will never make it. He's doomed.
-- Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast.

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Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.
-- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.

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Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.
-- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.

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Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances.
-- Dr. Lee De Forest, inventor of the vacuum tube and father of television.

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Everything that can be invented has been invented.
-- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

Professor Howdy said...

Light bulb's love declaration:
I love you a whole watt!

Professor Howdy said...

Q: What do you call sweet potatoes that are very outspoken?
A: Candid yams.

Professor Howdy said...

Then and Now

School 1957 vs. School 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1957 - Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lockdown, the FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police are called; SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.


Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra state funding because Jeffrey has a disability.


Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.


Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.

2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario: Pedro fails high-school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. US Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover Independence Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1957 - Ants die.

2007 - Homeland Security and the FBI are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1957 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.


WHATEVER HAPPENED TO COMMON SENSE?

Adrian Monk said...

The year is 1947

Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years
ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with
five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside
Roswell , New Mexico . This is a well known incident that many say has
long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies
and organizations.

However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948,
nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:

Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses?
I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you.

No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens!

Now You Know.

Professor Howdy said...


Four Important Things To KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews,
Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians,
Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist,
French, etc.) have sinned & fall
short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1)
are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation
from God, & damnation) but the Gift
(free & at no charge to you) of God
(Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through
(in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of the
Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly
prized the world (Americans, Muslims,
Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans,
Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons,
Methodist, French, etc.) that
He even gave up His only begotten
(unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living)
believes (trust in, relies on, clings to,
depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH,
& THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American,
Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist,
Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French,
etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with
GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -

(Rev. 3:20)




{Please note that church membership,
baptism, doing good things, etc. are not
requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}


Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad
is the road that leads to destruction
(Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small
is the gate and narrow the road that
leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it.



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Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?




http://everystudent.com/menus/intl.html

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But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

Professor Howdy said...



Here's some blogs that I found
of interest
as I negotiated my way
through cyberspace:





Every Student

Religion Comparison

Around the Well

Danish Cartoons

Arabic Cartoons

Muhammad or Jesus???

Answering Islam

Is Jesus God?

How to become a Christian

Who Is Jesus?

See The Word

Watch The Jesus Movie

Spanish Cartoons

German Cartoons

Chinese Cartoons

Italian Cartoons

Greek Cartoons

Japanese Cartoons

Portuguese Cartoons

French Cartoons

Hindi Cartoons

Russian Cartoons


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P U R P O S E of 'Thought & Humor':



But these are written so that you may
believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the
Son of God, and that by believing in
Him you will have life. Jn 20:31

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