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First Published In The Last Century - July 26, 1997!
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Thursday
Purgatory, Heaven Or Hell??? You Already Have A Ticket Reserved!
Read what you have time for below & save the residuum for a stormy/ blustery/dilatory interval while the charming/exquisite/vernal/ aestival season is bursting out all over. Our goal is to promote a non- threatening and productive office & university environment and to establish language that is gender- neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age- neutral while celebrating our spirit of diversity.
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All of us, at one time or another, have experienced the strange physiological reaction of zygomatic stimulation and subsequent larynx strain.
This strain upsets the respiratory system, which results in deep, noisy gasps. The mouth opens and closes as the lungs struggle for oxygen.
The struggle for oxygen causes the face to turn various shades of red and strange, unique noises emerge from deep within. What is this strange, physiological reaction I am describing? It is laughter!
We normally associate laughter with humor. But, gelotology, the study of laughter, suggests another trigger for laughter called the incongruity theory.
This theory suggests that laughter arises when logic and familiarity are replaced by things that don't normally go together--when we expect one outcome and another happens. Generally speaking, our minds and bodies anticipate what's going to happen and how it's going to end based on logical thought, emotion, and our past experience. But, when circumstances go in unexpected directions, our thoughts and emotions suddenly have to switch gears and laughter emerges out of the tension between what we expect--and what actually happens. - - Margaret Manning
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***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING*** This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered. A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just ahead for your divertissement!?!
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Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online, 'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way through the Internet’s highways and byways to your idiosyncratic computer.
We welcome all our great readers to another unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your daily entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....
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*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including: B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., N.U.T., B.R.C. (Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898 for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States, all 230 Countries, 7 Continents, Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School & all major American Universities including UNC!!!
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The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D., failed to stamp the Bible out. The French Revolution could not crush it with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes, converted to Christianity). The Communists failed to stamp it out with atheism and political ideology. One might well ask why this book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with such animosity and scorn. The great Reformation hero John Calvin responds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word. they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly or reluctantly." - Joe Boot
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To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please call:
1-888-NEED HIM.
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Please forward this newspaper to your colleagues, friends, and family, and let them know they can subscribe by sending an e-mail to:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Join the jollity by sending an e-mail to: harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com (Place "SUBSCRIBE" in the subject). (Open To ALL - Even Your Roommate/mom/friend/professor)
You may subscribe ANY friend/family you wish to beguile/regale. They will be sent a confirmation warning them that smiles are in their future. (You may remain anonymous if you wish.)
Dr. Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!" First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997 Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture
=============== If you stop believing what your professor told you had to be true and if you start thinking for yourself you may come to some conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the Bible makes more sense than you thought or were told to think. Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you always thought could be true. Can you believe what you don't understand? You and I believe everyday what we don't understand unless it comes to the issue of salvation. - - - Dr. Woodrow Kroll
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There is simply no historic foundation for the position that the Framers intended to build the 'wall of separation' that was constitutionalized in Everson. The 'wall of separation be- tween church and state' is a metaphor based on bad history, a metaphor which has proved useless as a guide to judging. It should be frankly and explicitly abandoned. - - - Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, William Rehnquist
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In 1796 the US Supreme Court issued this ruling, "By our form of government, the Christian religion is the established religion, and all sects and denominations of Christians are placed on equal footing." Some 57 years later, after Congress was petitioned to separate Christian principles from government, in 1853 the House Judiciary Committee issued their formal report, including these words: "In this age there is no substitute for Christianity. This was the religion of the founders of the republic, and they expected it to be the religion of their dependents. The great vital, conservative elements in our system is the belief of our people in the pure doctrines and divine truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ." - - - Dr. Gerald Beavan
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"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God and to recognize the sublime truth announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord." -- President Abraham Lincoln
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Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment; trust in money and you may have it taken from you; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity. - D.L. Moody
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Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds. Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies into which they never enter and with their hand on the door latch they die outside. GK Chesterton
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Address Change
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Permission is hereby granted for you to change all humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought & Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students 2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley 3) Any accredited high school or middle school 4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits 5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops 6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
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"How to Be Sure You're a REAL Christian"
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I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]: "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God."
That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic -- on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg -- or else he would be the Devil of Hell.
You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse .... You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.
-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
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"Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ which is eternal life (John 17:3)."
- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643
"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties of religion, both in public and secret."
- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
Click Here This government site offers access to historic documents. View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
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'Thought & Humor' - often polemical but never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
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Examining Our Laughter
“Laughter,” writes my colleague, Mark Eckel, “is an indication of ethics. Watching a Jay Leno monologue,” he continues, “forces us to laugh at the ethical lapses in peoples’ attitudes and actions.” But, he suggests, we need to monitor our laughter. There may just be, in his words, “a guide for Christians to explain when laughter is ethically appropriate and when it is not.”
Everyone who has attended a movie theater has probably had the experience of listening to a part of the audience laugh at incidents in the movie which are not funny, things like violence to a particular individual or cruelty to an animal. Such laughter leaves one chilled. And it is an indication of our society that such laughter is growing more frequent. But, before we look to the culture at large, it is much more important to analyze ruthlessly just what we are laughing at, particularly on television and in our private conversations with our friends.
Eckel, quoted earlier, compares the potential difference in our laughter at two television sitcoms: The Simpsons, a much-written about sitcom among Christians because of its witty but ironic portrayal of, in Eckel’s words, “the dark side of human nature,” and Will and Grace, a program that seeks to make the homosexual lifestyle and all sexually active characters benign and, therefore, acceptable. In The Simpsons, Eckel notes, “the inconsistencies and hypocrisies of all groups and individuals in American culture are pointed out… using sardonic wit… to mirror shortcomings, creating a climate for change” through the viewer’s “distress and unease [at] seeing wrongdoing in both attitude and action.” In contrast, Will and Grace promotes the acceptance of its characters and their lifestyles through “self-deprecating” laughter that “cuts off the rough edges and softens [the viewer’s] attitudes” by making the characters endearing and “excluding the consequences of [their] behavior.”
This is very wise analysis, one we must take seriously. T. S. Eliot said long ago that what entertains us, what we laugh at, may just affect us more than what we study or labor over because our spirits and minds are relaxed and receptive. We have turned our mental security systems off and what amuses may seem somehow too trivial to harm us. There is no part of our lives that does not, however, belong to God. We must never bypass our intellects or suspend our critical thinking ability even in our laughter. Laughter has the power, as in The Simpsons, to be a cultural commentary that brings understanding and conviction, and it has the power, as in Will and Grace, to seduce and soothe one into indifference to dangerous secular trends.
The question is crucial: What are we laughing at and why?
- Dr.Rosalie de Rosset
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Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor', please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......
"Not being on the air, that's not important. But I'd like to be in the newsroom helping set the agenda."
Retired CBS Anchorman Walter Cronkite
{Dear Walter, Fair news knows no agenda - Prof Howdy}
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The Bible claims to be the Word of the only true God. In addition to historical, archaeological, and scientific proofs, there are numerous internal proofs. No such evidences exist for other "sacred writings." The Bible was written during 1,600 years by 40 prophets, most of whom lived in diverse cultures, at different times in history, yet who never contradict but complement each other. For the Qur'an, Muslims must take the word of Muhammad, just as the Book of Mormon rests solely upon Joseph Smith's word. But every biblical prophet is confirmed by 39 other prophets. - - Dave Hunt
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God designed humans to want to believe in something. That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K. Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe in everything -- including Little Green Men.
- - Chuck Colson
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Dear Professor Howdy,
Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world... it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we all need...please keep up the great works!!!
Type atcha later...
God bless you,
Phil H WI
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Dear Dr. Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department. But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be a pack of wolves!!**
SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW. INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have seen. The best to you.
S. P.
*Another name for UNC. ** UNC's archrival - NCSU.
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Recommended by Prof Howdy for improving your life:
{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}
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Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':
Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???
Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administration, Married Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student Cindy - 40's - FL - Married - Ministry Administrator David - 50's - NJ - Businessman, Married Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country Jerry - 80's - CA - Retired Theology Professor, Lobbyist, Author Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher Milton - 19 - GA - College Student Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped Rob - 20's - NY - University Administration, Married Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister Steve - 40's - TX - Married, Computer Hardware Design Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country Bill J. - 60's - Fed. Government Employee Bill R. - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System Bill T. - 50's - MN - College Professor Bob - 80's - FL - Semi - Retired Military Chaplan/Minister - D.D. Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, Elementary School Teacher - H.B. July 22 Cindy - 40's - NC - 501(c)(3) Administrator - Married Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married Ellen - 20's - NJ - Registered Nurse - Married Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married Judith - 60's - TX - Retired Teacher Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student - H.B. July 28 Lee - 20's - GA - College Student Les - 40's - Australia - Pilot Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician Mamie - 30's - GA - Elementary Teacher Patricia - 20's - MX - Entrepreneur, Politician Phil - 50's WI - Disabled Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married Tom - 40's - Middle East - Missionary Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister Teresa - 30's - NC - Mother Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country
Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.
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Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man. All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world." --John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible." - President George Washington
"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon
"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England." - Queen Victoria
"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend , the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper; but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority, no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)
"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed." - Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." - President U.S. Grant
"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people. The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom." - Horace Greeley (Editor)
"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson
"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee
"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)
"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year." - President John Quincy Adams
"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)
"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)
"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)
"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)
"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels, it will not go." - Goethe (Author)
"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time, and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable distance separates it from all competitors." - W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)
"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply due to the fact that when I was a child my mother daily read me a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart." - John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)
"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed. The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas Huxley (Author & Scientist)
"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness, which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures. Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal of this great book of revelations. That if they would see America free and pure they will make their own spirits free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit." --President Woodrow Wilson
For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation. --President George W. Bush
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here." --Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
=============== Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long? A: All newspapers & magazines are long!
Q: What if I can't read all of it? A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?
Q: Am I required to memorize each article? A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.
Q: Is 'T & H' Spam? A: No, it's made entirely of ham.
Q: Can I forward to friends & family? A: Please do.
Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers? A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.
Q: Who is Prof Howdy? A: We let him think he's the boss...
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Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road." ~Henry Ward Beecher "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects." --Arnold Glasow "Laughter is by definition healthy." --Doris Lessing "If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life." --Bette Midler "The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." --Mark Twain "What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul." -- Yiddish Proverb "Laughter is an instant vacation." -- Milton Berle "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." -- Victor Borge
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)
NOTICE: The jokes, pictures, cartoons & general content published in this list were either submitted directly to 'Thought & Humor' or as, we believe, in the public domain. If you think that we have published any posting (including videos) on our award winning blog without giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.
But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16
And this Good News about the Kingdom will be preached through all the world for a witness to all people; and then the end will come. Mat 24:14
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Four important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!}
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14
Write me sometime:
howdythoughthumor [at} gmail [dot] com
(No spaces or punctuation except for one dot.)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The E-Mail Newspaper containing 'Thought & Humor' is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought & Humor' is one small attempt to obey The Great Com- mission. First published in the last century (July 26, 1997). Soli Deo Gloria... ________ E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u) _________ References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart, Buffalosjokes, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day, Kim Komando, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease, Crosswalk.com, CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice, and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.
But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Here's some blogs that I found of interest as I negotiated my way through cyberspace:
But these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing in Him you will have life. Jn 20:31
Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him, and to our God, for He will freely pardon. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is My word that goes out from My mouth: It will not return to Me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed." Is 55
O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Ps 139
When I survey the wondrous cross On which the Prince of Glory died, My richest gain I count but loss, And pour contempt on all my pride.
Were the whole realm of nature mine, That were a present far too small: Love so amazing, so divine, Demands my soul, my life, my all. - - Isaac Watts
O God, You have taught me from my youth; And to this day I declare Your wondrous works. Now also when I am old and gray headed, O God, do not forsake me, Until I declare Your strength to this generation, Your power to everyone who is to come. Ps 71
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aestival season is bursting out all
over. Our goal is to promote a non-
threatening and productive office
& university environment and to
establish language that is gender-
neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-
neutral while celebrating our spirit
of diversity.
===============
All of us, at one time or another, have experienced
the strange physiological reaction of zygomatic
stimulation and subsequent larynx strain.
This strain upsets the respiratory system, which
results in deep, noisy gasps. The mouth opens
and closes as the lungs struggle for oxygen.
The struggle for oxygen causes the face to turn
various shades of red and strange, unique noises
emerge from deep within. What is this strange,
physiological reaction I am describing? It is laughter!
We normally associate laughter with humor. But,
gelotology, the study of laughter, suggests another
trigger for laughter called the incongruity theory.
This theory suggests that laughter arises when logic
and familiarity are replaced by things that don't normally
go together--when we expect one outcome and another
happens. Generally speaking, our minds and bodies
anticipate what's going to happen and how it's going
to end based on logical thought, emotion, and our past
experience. But, when circumstances go in unexpected
directions, our thoughts and emotions suddenly have
to switch gears and laughter emerges out of the tension
between what we expect--and what actually happens.
- - Margaret Manning
===============
***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?!
===============
Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its
way through the Internet’s highways and byways to your
idiosyncratic computer.
We welcome all our great readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your
daily entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic
but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious
and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....
===============
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., N.U.T., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
===============
Why Am I Here:
Click Here
===============
'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,
all 230 Countries, 7 Continents, Oxford, Cambridge,
every Ivy League School & all major American
Universities including UNC!!!
===============
The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict in 303 A.D.,
failed to stamp the Bible out. The French Revolution could not
crush it with secular philosophy (Rousseau, one of its heroes,
converted to Christianity). The Communists failed to stamp it
out with atheism and political ideology. One might well ask why
this book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with such
animosity and scorn. The great Reformation hero John Calvin
responds in this way: "Whenever people slander God's word.
they show they feel within its power, however unwillingly or
reluctantly." - Joe Boot
===============
To find out how you can begin a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ, please call:
1-888-NEED HIM.
===============
Please forward this newspaper to your colleagues,
friends, and family, and let them know they can
subscribe by sending an e-mail to:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
===============
Join the jollity by sending an e-mail to:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
(Place "SUBSCRIBE" in the subject).
(Open To ALL - Even Your Roommate/mom/friend/professor)
You may subscribe ANY friend/family you wish to beguile/regale.
They will be sent a confirmation warning them that smiles are in their future.
(You may remain anonymous if you wish.)
===============
Your very own library
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
Dr. Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture
===============
If you stop believing what your professor told you had to be true
and if you start thinking for yourself you may come to some
conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the Bible makes
more sense than you thought or were told to think. Allow yourself
to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you always thought could
be true. Can you believe what you don't understand? You and I
believe everyday what we don't understand unless it comes to
the issue of salvation. - - - Dr. Woodrow Kroll
===============
There is simply no historic foundation for the position that the
Framers intended to build the 'wall of separation' that was
constitutionalized in Everson. The 'wall of separation be-
tween church and state' is a metaphor based on bad history,
a metaphor which has proved useless as a guide to judging.
It should be frankly and explicitly abandoned.
- - - Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, William Rehnquist
===============
In 1796 the US Supreme Court issued this ruling, "By our form
of government, the Christian religion is the established religion,
and all sects and denominations of Christians are placed on
equal footing." Some 57 years later, after Congress was
petitioned to separate Christian principles from government,
in 1853 the House Judiciary Committee issued their formal
report, including these words: "In this age there is no substitute
for Christianity. This was the religion of the founders of the republic,
and they expected it to be the religion of their dependents. The
great vital, conservative elements in our system is the belief of
our people in the pure doctrines and divine truths of the gospel
of Jesus Christ." - - - Dr. Gerald Beavan
===============
"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to own
their dependence upon the overruling power of God
and to recognize the sublime truth announced in the
Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those
nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord."
-- President Abraham Lincoln
===============
Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment;
trust in money and you may have it taken from you;
but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in
time or eternity. - D.L. Moody
===============
Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds.
Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
into which they never enter and with their hand on the door latch
they die outside. GK Chesterton
===============
Address Change
Don't be without 'Thought & Humor' this electrifying autumn season
should your address (college students, military, rich people, etc.)
change. Subscribe your new address:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
It's hard to impress the opposite sex without 'Thought & Humor'
combined with moonlight, candlelight dinners, ocean breezes,
and Howdy...
===============
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
===============
"How to Be Sure You're
a REAL Christian"
1-888-NEED-HIM
(24/7 - free call)
===============
Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)
1-800-633-3446
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."
That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.
You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.
-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
===============
"Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider
well the main end of his life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ
which is eternal life (John 17:3)."
- - - The Laws and Statutes of Harvard College in 1643
"All scholars shall live religious, godly, and blameless lives according
to the rules of God's Word, diligently reading the Holy Scriptures, the
fountain of light and truth; and constantly attend upon all the duties
of religion, both in public and secret."
- - - Two central requirements in Yale College 1745 charter
===============
Muhammad or Jesus???
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
Why The U.S.A. Is At War:
Click Here
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
AMERICA ARCHIVED
Click Here
This government site offers access to historic documents.
View the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights.
===============
'Thought & Humor' - often polemical but
never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
===============
Examining Our Laughter
“Laughter,” writes my colleague, Mark Eckel, “is an indication
of ethics. Watching a Jay Leno monologue,” he continues,
“forces us to laugh at the ethical lapses in peoples’ attitudes
and actions.” But, he suggests, we need to monitor our laughter.
There may just be, in his words, “a guide for Christians to explain
when laughter is ethically appropriate and when it is not.”
Everyone who has attended a movie theater has probably had the
experience of listening to a part of the audience laugh at incidents
in the movie which are not funny, things like violence to a particular
individual or cruelty to an animal. Such laughter leaves one chilled.
And it is an indication of our society that such laughter is growing
more frequent. But, before we look to the culture at large, it is much
more important to analyze ruthlessly just what we are laughing at,
particularly on television and in our private conversations with our
friends.
Eckel, quoted earlier, compares the potential difference in our
laughter at two television sitcoms: The Simpsons, a much-written
about sitcom among Christians because of its witty but ironic
portrayal of, in Eckel’s words, “the dark side of human nature,”
and Will and Grace, a program that seeks to make the homosexual
lifestyle and all sexually active characters benign and, therefore,
acceptable. In The Simpsons, Eckel notes, “the inconsistencies
and hypocrisies of all groups and individuals in American culture
are pointed out… using sardonic wit… to mirror shortcomings,
creating a climate for change” through the viewer’s “distress
and unease [at] seeing wrongdoing in both attitude and action.”
In contrast, Will and Grace promotes the acceptance of its characters
and their lifestyles through “self-deprecating” laughter that “cuts
off the rough edges and softens [the viewer’s] attitudes” by making
the characters endearing and “excluding the consequences of [their]
behavior.”
This is very wise analysis, one we must take seriously. T. S. Eliot
said long ago that what entertains us, what we laugh at, may just
affect us more than what we study or labor over because our spirits
and minds are relaxed and receptive. We have turned our mental
security systems off and what amuses may seem somehow too trivial
to harm us. There is no part of our lives that does not, however, belong
to God. We must never bypass our intellects or suspend our critical thinking
ability even in our laughter. Laughter has the power, as in The Simpsons,
to be a cultural commentary that brings understanding and conviction,
and it has the power, as in Will and Grace, to seduce and soothe one into
indifference to dangerous secular trends.
The question is crucial: What are we laughing at and why?
- Dr.Rosalie de Rosset
===============
Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......
===============
Who is Jesus?
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
"Not being on the air, that's not important.
But I'd like to be in the newsroom helping
set the agenda."
Retired CBS Anchorman Walter Cronkite
{Dear Walter, Fair news knows no agenda -
Prof Howdy}
===============
The Bible claims to be the Word of the only true God. In addition to
historical, archaeological, and scientific proofs, there are numerous
internal proofs. No such evidences exist for other "sacred writings."
The Bible was written during 1,600 years by 40 prophets, most of
whom lived in diverse cultures, at different times in history, yet who
never contradict but complement each other. For the Qur'an, Muslims
must take the word of Muhammad, just as the Book of Mormon rests
solely upon Joseph Smith's word. But every biblical prophet is confirmed
by 39 other prophets. - - Dave Hunt
===============
God designed humans to want to believe in something.
That's the image of God that is in us. But as G. K.
Chesterton famously put it, when we reject the God
of the Bible, we don't believe in nothing; we believe
in everything -- including Little Green Men.
- - Chuck Colson
===============
Dear Professor Howdy,
Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
all need...please keep up the great works!!!
Type atcha later...
God bless you,
Phil H
WI
===============
Dear Dr. Howdy, Indeed I am a faithful Tarheel*, having both
MA and Ph.D. from their fine chemistry department.
But that doesn't keep me from getting a great kick out
of the humor propagated by what appears to me to be
a pack of wolves!!**
SERIOUSLY, THE HUMOR IS GREAT FUN BUT MY
MAIN ATTRACTION WAS TO THE CONSERVATIVE
MORAL AND POLITICAL STANCE THAT SEEMED
TO CHARACTERIZE THE FIRST ISSUE I SAW.
INCIDENTALLY (HE SAYS ACCIDENTALLY!), it was
sent to me by a friend, so I really didn't "hear about
you" at all, and still haven't. All I know is what has
come in the two issues of the Newsletter I have
seen. The best to you.
S. P.
*Another name for UNC.
** UNC's archrival - NCSU.
===============
Recommended by Prof Howdy for improving your life:
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}
===============
Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':
Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???
Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administration, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
Cindy - 40's - FL - Married - Ministry Administrator
David - 50's - NJ - Businessman, Married
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jerry - 80's - CA - Retired Theology Professor, Lobbyist, Author
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Milton - 19 - GA - College Student
Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
Rob - 20's - NY - University Administration, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Steve - 40's - TX - Married, Computer Hardware Design
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country
Bill J. - 60's - Fed. Government Employee
Bill R. - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System
Bill T. - 50's - MN - College Professor
Bob - 80's - FL - Semi - Retired Military Chaplan/Minister - D.D.
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, Elementary School Teacher - H.B. July 22
Cindy - 40's - NC - 501(c)(3) Administrator - Married
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - Registered Nurse - Married
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Judith - 60's - TX - Retired Teacher
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student - H.B. July 28
Lee - 20's - GA - College Student
Les - 40's - Australia - Pilot
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 30's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Patricia - 20's - MX - Entrepreneur, Politician
Phil - 50's WI - Disabled
Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Tom - 40's - Middle East - Missionary
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Teresa - 30's - NC - Mother
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country
Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.
===============
Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...
Click Here
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." -- President Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and
the Bible." - President George Washington
"The Bible is no mere book, but a Living Creature, with a
power that conquers all that oppose it." - Napoleon
"That Book accounts for the supremacy of England."
- Queen Victoria
"If there is anything in my thought or style to commend ,
the credit is due my parents for instilling in me an early
love of the Scriptures. If we abide by the principals taught
in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper;
but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority,
no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and
bury all our glory in profound obscurity." - Daniel Webster (Founding Father)
"The Bible is worth all other books which have ever been printed."
- Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
"The Bible is the anchor of our liberties." - President U.S. Grant
"It is impossible to enslave mentally or socially a Bible-reading people.
The principals of the Bible are the groundwork of human freedom."
- Horace Greeley (Editor)
"That Book is the rock on which our Republic rests." - President Andrew Jackson
"In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me
light and strength." - Gen. Robert E. Lee
"Bible reading is an education in itself." - Lord Tennyson (Poet)
"So great is my veneration for the Bible that the earlier my children begin
to read it the more confident will be my hope that they will prove useful
citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for
many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year."
- President John Quincy Adams
"The existence of the Bible, as a Book for the people, is the greatest
benefit which the human race has ever experienced. Every attempt to
belittle it is a crime against humanity." - Immanuel Kant (Philosopher)
"The New Testament is the very best Book that ever or ever will be
known in the world." - Charles Dickens (Author)
"All human discoveries seem to be made only for the purpose of
confirming more and more strongly the truths contained in the
Sacred Scriptures." - Sir William Herschel (Astronomer)
"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in
any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton (Scientist)
"Let mental culture go on advancing, let the natural sciences
progress in even greater extent and depth, and the human
mind widen itself as much as it desires; beyond the elevation
and moral culture of Christianity, as it shines forth in the Gospels,
it will not go." - Goethe (Author)
"I have known ninety-five of the world's great men in my time,
and of these eight-seven were followers of the Bible. The Bible
is stamped with a Specialty of Origin, and an immeasurable
distance separates it from all competitors."
- W.E. Gladstone (Prime Minister)
"Whatever merit there is in anything that I have written is simply
due to the fact that when I was a child my mother daily read me
a part of the Bible and daily made me learn a part of it by heart."
- John Ruskin (art critic and social commentator)
"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
Huxley (Author & Scientist)
"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--President Woodrow Wilson
For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
--President George W. Bush
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry (original member of the Continental Congress)
===============
Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!
Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?
Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.
Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.
Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.
Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers?
A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.
Q: Who is Prof Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...
===============
Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon
without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road."
~Henry Ward Beecher
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
"The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time
to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a
time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a
time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (King Solomon)
NOTICE: The jokes, pictures, cartoons & general content published
in this list were either submitted directly to 'Thought & Humor'
or as, we believe, in the public domain. If you think that we
have published any posting (including videos) on our award
winning blog without giving proper credit to its author/owner, please
let us know and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.
But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16
And this Good News about the Kingdom will be
preached through all the world for a witness to
all people; and then the end will come. Mat 24:14
===============
Four important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
& fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,
relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)
{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14
Write me sometime:
howdythoughthumor [at} gmail [dot] com
(No spaces or punctuation except
for one dot.)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The E-Mail Newspaper containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey The Great Com-
mission. First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u) _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Buffalosjokes, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease, Crosswalk.com,
CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor
your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,
and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's
e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such
unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.
But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Here's some blogs that I found
of interest as I negotiated my way
through cyberspace:
Every Student
Religion Comparison
Around the Well
Danish Cartoons
Arabic Cartoons
Muhammad or Jesus???
Answering Islam
Is Jesus God?
A Short Look At Six World Religions
God's Word in different languages...
How to become a Christian
Who Is Jesus?
See The Word
Watch The Jesus Movie
Spanish Cartoons
German Cartoons
Chinese Cartoons
Italian Cartoons
Greek Cartoons
Japanese Cartoons
Portuguese Cartoons
French Cartoons
Hindi Cartoons
Russian Cartoons
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P U R P O S E of 'Thought & Humor':
But these are written so that you may
believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the
Son of God, and that by believing in
Him you will have life. Jn 20:31
Seek the Lord while He may be found;
call on Him while He is near. Let the
wicked forsake his way and the evil
man his thoughts. Let him turn to the
Lord, and He will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for He will freely
pardon. "For My thoughts are not
your thoughts, neither are your ways
My ways," declares the Lord. "As the
heavens are higher than the earth, so
are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down
from heaven, and do not return to it
without watering the earth and making
it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed
for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is My word that goes out from My
mouth: It will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire and
achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth
in peace; the mountains and hills will
burst into song before you, and all the
trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the
pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle
will grow. This will be for the Lord's
renown, for an everlasting sign, which
will not be destroyed." Is 55
O Lord, you have searched me and you
know me. You know when I sit and when
I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know
it completely, O Lord. You hem me in -
behind and before; you have laid your
hand upon me. Such knowledge is too
wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where
can I flee from your presence? If I go up
to the heavens, you are there; if I make
my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide
me and the light become night around
me," even the darkness will not be dark
to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. For you
created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. I praise
you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know
that full well. My frame was not hidden
from you when I was made in the secret
place. When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth, your eyes saw my
unformed body. All the days ordained
for me were written in your book before
one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts,
O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would
outnumber the grains of sand. When
I awake, I am still with you. Search me,
O God, and know my heart; test me
and know my anxious thoughts. See
if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Ps 139
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.
Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small:
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
- - Isaac Watts
O God, You have taught me from my
youth; And to this day I declare
Your wondrous works. Now also when
I am old and gray headed, O God,
do not forsake me, Until I declare
Your strength to this generation,
Your power to everyone who is to come.
Ps 71