Bank Robbery!

A lawyer enters a 
bank as a robber 
is making his get -

Noticing that the 

customers have 
their faces buried 
in the floor, and 
the tellers have 
their hands in 
the air, the lawyer 
asks what's going 
on. As the bank 
manager dials the
police department 
he shouts, "That 
man just walked 
out of here with 
a million dollars!"

"A million dollars! 

Why didn't you 
say something?" 
the lawyer says 
in shock. "I would 
have given him 
my card."


Anonymous said...

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
& noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and
jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the
Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable
programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to
no avail.

What can I do?


Professor Howdy said...

You never knew when my wife was going to have one of her attacks. No, it wasn't a medical condition, but it used to happen as we were driving through our neighborhood on garbage night. And suddenly she'd go, "Stop! Wait!" And I'd say, "What's the matter?" And she'd say, "Look at that chair." Actually it was the remains of a chair, broken, pretty gross I thought. And then she'd say, "Hey, let's take it." I think there's a name for that. Isn't it garbage picking?

Well, of course, my sons were in the back seat. They'd just roll their eyes and go, "Oh, no, Mom. Please, please don't do this to us." Well, the only compromise we ever worked out is that she would allow us to come back after it was dark, which was merciful. Do this by cover of night.

Now, a couple of weeks later, and this happened many times, I would come in the house and say, "Hey, that's a beautiful chair! Where'd you get that? Where'd you get the money for it?" And she'd say, "There wasn't any money. Remember that chair we got out of the garbage?" Well, yeah, my wife was a garbage picker, but she could look at some old piece of furniture; she could see something that the rest of us just don't see.

(Continued Below!)

Professor Howdy said...

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from John 1:40-42, early in the ministry of the Lord Jesus. "Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who had heard what John the Baptist had said and who had followed Jesus. Now, the first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, 'We have found the Messiah (that is, the Christ).' And he brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, 'You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas (which, when translated, is Peter).'"

You probably know that's the word for rock. Now, honestly, I don't think that's what other people saw when they saw Peter. They saw Simon, they saw kind of a flaky, erratic kind of guy. You know, they'd go through the neighborhood and say, "Well, Peter's know, he's kind of unpredictable, you never know what he's going to say. He puts his foot in his mouth." But when Jesus looked at him, He saw a rock.

Now, I'm married to someone who can see past what's broken and ugly. That's why we stop for things other people have thrown away. She sees what it could be and she makes it into something beautiful and useful. See, that was the wonderful vision Jesus saw through His eyes when He looked at people. Some people saw John, the son of thunder, but Jesus said, "I'm going to make him the apostle of love." Some people saw in Mary Magdalene a demon-possessed prostitute, but Jesus said, "I see a loyal, devoted follower of Christ here."

See, a lot of people saw in Zacchaeus garbage, greed, and dishonesty, but Jesus saw the potential of a man who could be a somebody by giving, instead of taking. And He looks at you like that. Maybe others can only see what's broken in you, ugly in you, but He sees what you can be. He sees what you're created to be. And He wants us to develop that "garbage picker" vision. To be a parent who can look past the garbage that your child might be giving out and see what he could be. Tell him about his potential, not just his problems. To see in a friend or a leader or a helper someone who could be more than they are. Don't just say, "You're a mess." Say, "Do you know what? You're better than this. I see in you a treasure that God created. I see under that mask a sensitive person, an insightful person, a leader, a listener, a fighter for what's right," whatever potential God gives you to see in them.

Somewhere near you is an assignment with a name; someone waiting for another person to see the Peter, or the rock, in them. Stop for someone that others might be walking past or even throwing away or trashing. Pick them up and patiently build them into all they were meant to be.

To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please visit: Yours for Life or call 1-888-966-7325.

"A Word With You" by Ron Hutchcraft

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