Monday

Your Dentist Appointment?


http://www.aerojockey.com/fark/dentist.jpg


A UNC student walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth."

"You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."

"Yes, I know."

"So, why did you come in here?"

"The light was on."


#UNC #UNCHumor #UNCDental

3 comments:

Ravi Zacharias - RZIM said...

A Quiver of Contradictions


It is perhaps the most dramatic scene in John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress: Christian enters the Valley of Humiliation where he meets the dreadful Apollyon, a "foul fiend;" the dragon-like creature makes a mighty attempt to frighten him from the path of faith. In rereading this scene not long ago, the thing that most struck me about Apollyon's strategy was that it is always changing. He doesn't pick one tactic and stick with it. He starts out reasoning with Christian and then promises him all sorts of good things if he will turn back. When that doesn't work, he starts threatening Christian. He next accuses God of abandoning Christian, then he starts accusing Christian himself, telling him that he has been a failure as a pilgrim.

This attack from all sides is exactly the sort of strategy Satan uses against believers when he tempts and accuses us. One of the basic differences between God and Satan is that Satan has no qualms about contradicting himself. One minute he will inflate you with pride; the next he will debase you with shame. It doesn't matter to him which attack gets through as long as you take your eyes off God.

A non-Christian recently pointed out to me what he considered to be a Bible contradiction. Satan attempted to turn Jesus from the path that led to the cross (Matthew 16:21-23). Satan also incited Judas to betray Jesus (see John 13:2) because Satan considered the crucifixion of the Son of God to be a great victory for the powers of darkness. Isn't this a contradiction? Yes, but the contradiction is Satan's not God. He willingly works toward conflicting objectives all the time, as long as he sees it as in some way opposed to God's glory.

Sometimes it is difficult to recognize the attacks of Satan precisely because he so often contradicts himself with his own lies. He may start out reminding you of all your failures, making you doubt whether you are truly a Christian. If this doesn't work, he'll try to puff you up, drawing your attention to all your successes, goading you to compare your track record to others and give yourself a self-righteous round of applause. Or he may start out trying to entice you to love the world and live like it is your home. If you resist this temptation, he'll encourage you to notice all those who haven't been so steadfast and subtly shift your hope from resting in God's mercy to relying on your own faithfulness.

The good news is that our strategy for resisting Satan's advances is far less complex. No matter what lie he may aim at you, the gospel is broad enough to deflect it. If he makes you feel unworthy, the gospel tells you that you are not worthy, but Christ is. If he makes you feel invincible, the gospel humbles you and reminds you that apart from God, you can do nothing. Our exemplar in this method of battle is Christ himself. When Satan tempted him with half-truths, he not only rejected them, but sent back arrows in the form of God's own Word (see Luke 4).

Satan is not only the prince of this world; he is also the prince of contradiction. He cannot stand before the one who is Truth, and he cowers at the Word of God. Although it may seem archaic and unpopular to talk about our enemy, those who have felt his attacks know that he is real, and his tactics are formidable. He is, however, no match for the Son of God. We can sing with confidence the words of Martin Luther:

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed his truth to triumph through us:
The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him.


Betsy Childs is associate writer for Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

Professor Howdy said...

Did you know that dolphins are so
intelligent that within only a few
weeks of captivity, they can train
people to stand at the very edge
of the pool and throw them fish?

Chuck Colson & BreakPoint.org said...

Rediscovering Sabbath Rest
God Created Rest, Too
March 18, 2008

Note: This commentary was delivered by PFM President Mark Earley.

Only a few hours of technological abstinence had passed, but already Mark felt twitchy. His laptop lay abandoned, but almost as badly as a nicotine addict wants a cigarette, he was itching to go online, make a phone-call, send a text-message, do something.

But then something odd happened.

With the uninterrupted time, Mark found himself better able to think, to reflect, and perhaps strangest of all, to experience a feeling of calm that had gone AWOL from his modern life. The New York Times columnist Mark Bittman is one of a whole host of people discovering what some are terming a "secular Sabbath."

Men and women who have not darkened the door of a synagogue or church for years are finding a need for a day of real rest—disconnecting from the almost omnipresent technological advances of Blackberries and wireless Internet.

Bittman is not the only one lamenting what America lost when the culture of Sabbath observance became a thing of the past. Judith Shulevitz in Slate Magazine waxes poetic about the loss also: "The texture of that day off is hard to conjure up now, because contemporary life offers little like it," she says. "For 24 hours, we stayed home and ate huge family dinners, went to church, or set off on afternoon drives . . ."

She goes on to admit, "We had fewer choices, but that lack of choice may have been more liberating than we realized, because having the option of working or shopping often brings with it the nagging sense that if you're not working [or shopping], you should be . . . "

It is not surprising—is it?—that the people of all walks of life are discovering a need for Sabbath rest once again. As it says in Exodus 23, God intended that man and even animals should be "refreshed" by keeping the Sabbath. Rest was woven into the fabric of creation. And what we find as we take time off from the rhythms of work is—as the old Hebrew saying goes—not that we keep the Sabbath, but that the Sabbath keeps us.

That is a reality Americans can understand. We are starved for rest as never before, getting an average of just six-and-a-half hours of sleep a night, a 25-percent drop since the early 1900s. To make up for it, we rev up on Red Bull, Starbucks, No-Doz, sodas—you name it. No wonder people are craving the physical and mental health benefits of a day of rest.

But here is the opportunity you and I have. We know that not only is the Sabbath meant for refreshment, but it is also a much deeper, grander sign of our need for spiritual rest. Back in Exodus 31, God called the Sabbath an "eternal sign." He created it—along with many other things—as a reminder of our need for Him.

So consider how you and your family might rediscover the Sabbath. And as our secular friends discover their need for rest—or suffer from lack of it—let us use it as an opportunity to talk about how the soul itself will be, as St. Augustine put it, restless until it finds its rest in God.

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