Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture!
First Published In The Last Century - July 26, 1997!
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An Amusement Park Of Ideas! #ProfHowdy
A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to bedismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could thinkof but none of them worked.On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As thetrial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench."Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial because Iam prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man inhis blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and Isaid to myself, 'He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty!' So, yourHonor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!"With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box.That man is his lawyer."
A UNC grad had always dreamed of owning his own cattleranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself thespread of his dreams in Wyoming."So, what did you name the ranch?" asked his best friendwhen he flew out to visit."We had a heck of a time," admitted the new cowboy."Couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on theDouble R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond Ranch.""Wow!" his friend was impressed. But looking around hesaw no cattle. "So... where are all the cows?""None of 'em survived the branding."
Driving is never more exciting than it is during a major snowstorm.In fact, it is so exciting you ought to avoid it. Sometimes you just can't.I was scheduled to speak at a retreat in the Pocono Mountains one Januaryweekend and a major snowstorm moved in right on the Friday when everyoneis supposed to be traveling to Pennsylvania from New Jersey. I waited all dayfor the call, "Sorry, it's been cancelled." I got the call. They were still going,and by that time it was dark. It was snowing very impressively, so I traveledat a very reduced speed and it looked almost impossible to make it until Ispotted my friend up ahead - my friend the snow plow. He was clearing alane as he went. I just fell in right behind Mr. Snow Plow and followed himthrough the storm all the way to the state line.Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Isaiah 43:16. Godsays, "This is what the Lord says - He who made a way through the sea, apath through the mighty waters." Verse 18: "Forget the former things; do notdwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do younot perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in thewasteland." God is described here as He who made a way. This is a veryexciting view of our Heavenly Father. He's the way-maker when there is noway. Like when the Jews were on the banks of the Red Sea, every sense saidit was over. No way. Now, young people often pick up phrases and dialoguefrom popular movies. One of those that came from a movie a few years ago wasa response when someone says, "No way." You just go, "Way." That's shortfor, "No, you're wrong. There is a way."Right now you might be facing a seemingly impossible situation andyou're shaking your head like the Jews at the Red Sea and you're saying "Noway." Then there's this unexpected whisper from God's heart to yours: "Way."He's just trying to assure you that He will make a way through mighty watersthat seem overwhelming and unmovable - through the desert, a place wherethere seems to be no resources.If you've committed yourself to Jesus as your personal Savior, youbelong to a way-making God. What does that mean? You can't judge theoutcome by how bad the situation is. Your Father can overrule that. Youcan't judge by how impossible it is. It's only impossible by earth standards.But your God doesn't have impossible in His vocabulary. You can't judge byhow late it is. You say, "Man, there's not enough time for an answer now."Hey, God could do in an hour what men couldn't pull off in fifty years.Stand with Job on this conviction. It's in Job 42:2, "I know thatyou can do all things, Lord, no plan of yours can be thwarted." Onetreacherous snowy night I looked ahead at a road that seemed impossibleuntil I saw someone going ahead of me who could clear that road.One fearful day, God's ancient people stood on the banks of the RedSea trapped before the attacking armies of Egypt until they saw someone whocould part a sea and bury an army. That very same God, the great Way-Maker,is out in front of you.Click Here Wist u dat de God van u houdt?Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?Avete saputo che il dio li ama?Você soube que o deus o ama?¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?http://everystudent.com/menus/intl.htmlClick HereTo subscribe to "A Word With You," send a blank email to:firstname.lastname@example.org
Gekommen zu mir, geben alle Sie, die schweres beladenes bearbeiten und sind und ich Ihnen Rest. Jesus Christ, Gott, Messias, zweites Mitglied der Dreiheit
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