Friday

Dr. Willis!


Dr. Willis finished examining 
Matilda and went into the hallway 
to talk to her husband Bernie.

"I don't want to alarm you," 
he said to Bernie, "but I don't 
like the way your wife looks 
at all."

"Me neither, Doc." replied Bernie. 
"But she's a great cook and real 
good with the kids."

3 comments:

  1. THE TRUTH ABOUT INVESTMENTS & STOCK:

    A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the momentyou buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.
    BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubsto invest in Amazon.com.
    BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions.Please note the first five letters of this word spell "Broke".
    BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyeron that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.
    BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tankedduring the last quarter.
    MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to belistening to your manager's presentation.

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  2. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
    A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.

    ===============


    Stressing the importance of a large vocabulary, the UNC English
    professor told his class, "Use a word ten times and it will be
    yours for life."

    In the back of the room a pert sophomore closed her eyes and
    was heard chanting under her breath: "Fred, Fred, Fred,
    Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred, Fred."

    ===============


    *Known as the Queen Of The Skies, the Boeing 747 has been in
    commercial service since 1970. It was the first wide-body long-haul
    jet, and it is still a mainstay of intercontinental passenger travel.

    A fully loaded 747 weighs more than 400 tons (of which 40% is fuel),
    and its four engines deliver about 280 million watts of power for a
    thrust of about 1,100,000 Newtons (250,000 pounds). On
    intercontinental flights it can travel for more than 12 hours nonstop.

    Originally, the 747 was intended for cargo flights, but when
    supersonic planes never caught on, the 747 became the world's favorite
    long-haul jet. A 747-400 (the latest model, which has small winglets
    at the wing tips) can carry as many as 524 people across the planet
    at almost 90% of the speed of sound.

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  3. It was an amusing billboard actually; a cartoon drawing of a wide-eyed, bewildered-looking squirrel, holding a broken cable in his paws. The sign just said, "Call before you dig" and he gave a toll-free phone number. The utility folks have this problem. I'm not sure if it's with squirrels; it certainly is with people. They start digging and they cut right into their lines and their cables. You know, those could be gas lines, phone lines, or phone cables. And in the process, the happy diggers make a big mess for the utility company and their customers. A mess that could have easily been avoided.

    It really is a good idea to check with the people in the know before you just start plowing ahead. It's our failure to check with the person who's really in the know that explains many of our costly mistakes, that causes some of the biggest messes in our life.

    Consider the example in Joshua 9:14-15. It's our word for today from the Word of God. The Jews have been winning one victory after another over the Canaanites as they took possession of the Promised Land that God was giving them. They are about to come upon Gibeon, one of the royal cities of Canaan. The Gibeonites have heard about the fall of the other cities the Jews have gone against. They know they're going down next unless they can trick God's people somehow into making a peace treaty with them, which seems unlikely in light of the fact that God's orders are to remove every tribe from the land and not to coexist with them.

    But the Gibeonites are shrewd. They sent a delegation to see Joshua, with donkeys loaded with cracked wineskins and worn-out sacks. They wore patched sandals and old clothes, and they carried dry and moldy bread with them. The whole scam was to make it look like they were from far away and that they had come on a long journey. Here's how Joshua and his men decided what to do with these Gibeonites, "The men of Israel sampled their provisions (so they made sure the bread was really dry and moldy) but they did not inquire of the Lord. Then Joshua made a treaty of peace with them to let them live." Do you know, within days, the Jews learned that the Gibeonites weren't from far away; they were from close by. But because they had been tricked into this treaty, they could not, by honor, remove them as God had commanded.

    As a result, the hands of the Jews were tied for years to come, and the treaty actually sparked a major battle with other armies. How did this mess happen? They didn't call before they dug. They decided on the basis of what seemed right to them, but they made the fatal mistake so many of us have made so many times - they didn't check with heaven! And they blew it. So do we.

    So much unnecessary pain, so many unnecessary complications and difficulties and conflicts, all because of our failure to seek God's direction. We neglect to check with God for many reasons. We're in too big of a hurry, we're feeling pressured by other people, we compromise for the sake of convenience, or we just plain know how we want it to be and we stubbornly blaze ahead with our own will. Sometimes, we may even be doing God's thing, but it's not God's time or it's not God's way. We "lean on our own understanding," which can only see part of the picture. When you consult with the Lord, you're getting direction from the only One who can see the whole picture.

    In 2 Chronicles 18:4, King Jehoshaphat gave King Ahab this advice before he went running off into battle: "First, seek the counsel of the Lord." King Ahab didn't, and he died in that battle. You can avoid a lot of problems and a lot of pain if you'll instinctively check with heaven first. Call before you dig.


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    Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
    Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
    Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
    Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
    Você soube que o deus o ama?
    ¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?


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    Beautiful Music With Pictures:


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    Last More than an hour!!!

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