Monday

Efficiency Lecture!



An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.

"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"

"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."


4 comments:

Windy - UNC said...

THE BEST WORST COUNTRY-WESTERN SONGS

~ "How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?"

~ "You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly"

~ "I've Been Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart"

~ "I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You"

~ "She Got the Gold Mine and I Got the Shaft"

~ "My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him"

~ "I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life"

~ "Drop-Kick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of Life"

~ "Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone"

~ "If You Don't Leave Me Alone I'll Go and Find Someone Else Who Will"

~ "I've Got the Hungries For Your Love and I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line"

~ "I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me"

~ "My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart"

~ "I Wouldn't Take Her to a Dog Fight Because I'm Afraid She'd Win"

~ "They May Put Me In Prison But They Can't Stop My Face From Breaking Out"

Roger - Oxford U. said...

Top joke in Belgium

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Professor Howdy said...

Wild Bill Hickok was killed playing poker, holding two
pairs - aces and eights, which has become known as 'Dead
Man's Hand.'

***

Einstein won the Nobel Prize in 1921 for his work on the
photoelectric effect.

***

100,000 Swiss francs or approximately $80,000 is needed to
open a Swiss bank account.

Anonymous said...

Another song title for the above group

"She was pure as snow, but she drifted"

The first line goes -- "Pure as the snow on a convent roof"

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