London Bus Stop!

A Swiss man, looking for directions, 
pulls up at a bus stop where two 
English gents are waiting.

"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch 
 sprechen?" he asks.

The two English gents just stare at him.

"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" 
he tries. The two continue to stare.

"Parlare Italiano?" No response.

"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely 

The first Englishman turns to the second 
and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn 
a foreign language."

"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew 
four languages, and it didn't do him any 


Professor Howdy said...

A Proper English Gentleman...

A gentleman is returning home after a lengthy trip, and is met by his
servant at the station. This is the conversation that they have on their
way to his home...

"So, has anything happened while I've been away?"

"No, sir, I can't think of anything at all worth mentioning."

"Come now, I've been away for weeks. Surely something must
have happened in all that time."

"Well, sir, come to think of it, your dog died."

"My dear Clyde died? How awful! Still, he was getting on in
years, and I suppose it had to happen some time. How did he die?"

"The vet said it was probably from eating the rotten meat."

"The rotten meat? Since when do we leave rotten meat lying
around for the dog to eat?"

"Well, it was the horses, sir. They'd been rotting for some time
after the barn burned down."

"Good heavens! How in the world did the barn burn down?"

"It must have been some embers that blew over from the house, sir."

"The *house*? The house burnt down, too? How did the house burn down?"

"Well, sir, we think someone must have knocked over a candle."

"Oh. Candle? Wait a moment - we don't use candles anymore
to light the house! What were the candles doing there?"

"They were there for the wake, sir."

"The wake?!? Whose wake? For pity's sake..."

"Actually, your mother's, sir. She passed away quite suddenly."

"Oh my goodness. Mother is dead. The house is gone, along with
the stable. Even my dog is dead. What did Mother die of?"

"It must have been the shock, sir."

"The shock."

"Yes, sir, the shock. When your daughter was accepted to UNC
the day after you left, sir. But aside from all that, it's been fairly quiet
while you've been away, sir."


Because of the climate of
political correctness now
pervading America, those of us
in Arkansas and Missouri will no
longer be referred to as

We ask that you now refer to

Thank you!

Now if you'll excuse me,
I got possums to fry.

MLH - Harvard University said...

Does "HILLBILLIES" have anything
to do with "Hill" & "Bill"???

Being PC,

P.S. Mustn't be offensive...

Professor Howdy said...

So he went out and followed him, and did not know that what was done by the angel was real, but thought he was seeing a vision. - Acts 12:9 NKJ

Follow T&H!