UNC Job Interview!

A UNC grad named Darla had 

applied for a job and when
she returned home, her mother 
asked how the interview went.

"Pretty good, I think," replied 
 Darla, "but if I go to work
there I won't get a vacation 
until I'm married."

Her mother, of course, had 
never heard of such a thing.
"Is that what they told you?"

"No", replied Darla, "but right 
on the application it said
'vacation time may not be 
taken until you've had your 
First Anniversary.'"


Professor Howdy said...

Times when an editor was definitely needed:

Some are just slips of the tongue

Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Farmer bill dies in house
Iraqi head seeks arms

Grammar often botches other headlines

Eye drops off shelf
Squad helps dog bite victim
Dealers will hear car talk at noon
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
Miners refuse to work after death
Two Soviet ships collide--one dies
Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning
opposite from the one intended:

Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better

Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious

If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
War dims hope for peace
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Cold wave linked to temperatures
Child's death ruins couple's holiday
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
Man is fatally slain
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

Jack - Oxford U. said...

By The Things We're Allowed To Go Through

There are seasons of life & sufferings of the heart
that God will allow for His own;
Where the pain is almost too heavy to bear
for the garden of tears that are sown.
But little do we know about the future itself
other than Christ will hold tight to the redeemed.
And that God will have a way of always being faithful
no matter how hard that it seemed.
For He brings us through trials to test our faith
and filter off what doesn't belong.
In the end we realize that God is truly God
and our weakness is what makes us strong.
God brings us through hardships that threaten to break us
to show us He is sovereign each day,
And to show us the hope of the King will deliver
when the current tries to sweep us away.
God will allow us to have desperate needs
to show us His perfect, provisional glory.
Then we walk away humbled...knowing He's in control
of each detail within our life story.
The pain God allows is never meant to break us
but to showcase what He alone can do;
When He takes us from victory of the heart
by the things we're allowed to go through.

Sheila Gosney

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world.
And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.
Who is he who overcomes the world,
but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?
1 John 5:4-5 NKJV

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.
Romans 8:18-21 NKJV

Professor Howdy said...

So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David's town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancee, who was pregnant. While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a Son, her firstborn. She wrapped Him in a blanket and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room in the Inn. There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God's angel stood among them and God's glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, "Don't be afraid. I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David's town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you're to look for: a Baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger." At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God's praises: Glory to God in the heavenly heights, Peace to all men and women on earth who please Him. As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. "Let's get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us." They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this Child. All who heard the sheepherders were impressed. Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they'd been told!

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