New UNC Diet!

A UNC student was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the student returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The girl nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from skipping on the third day."


Professor Howdy said...

Q: How much does a grand piano cost?
A: $1000.00


"How to Be Sure You're
a REAL Christian"
(24/7 - free call)


It is in an especial manner our duty as a people, with devout reverence and
affectionate gratitude, to acknowledge our many and great obligations to
Almighty God, and to implore Him to continue to confirm the blessings we
experienced. Deeply penetrated with this sentiment, I, George Washington,
President of the United States, do recommend to all religious societies and
denominations, and to all persons whomsoever within the United States, to
set apart and observe Thursday, the 19th day of February next, as a day of
public thanksgiving and prayer, and on that day to meet together and render
sincere and hearty thanks to the great Ruler of nations for the manifold and
signal mercies which distinguish our lot as a nation...

Leroy Jethro Gibbs said...

Dear Professor,

I had a date on Saturday so I took her to a new place that
just opened out in the burbs. It got a good review in the
paper so I thought we'd give them a try.

It was nice inside, if a bit cramped. The building used to
be a bank so, basically, we were sitting in a lobby. But it
was nicely decorated, they had installed hardwood floors
and they had linen table clothes and everything, so I didn't
mind the close quarters so much.

I was perusing the menu, the critic in the paper had said
that the house specialty, a filet with crab-stuffed giant
shrimp was worth the money, when the waitress came to our

"I've been starving myself all day for this meal," I told
her. "I'll have the filet and crab-stuffed shrimp."

"I'm sorry," she answered, "We're out of that."

"Out of the filet, huh? Disappointing. Ummm...I'll just have
the New York strip then."

"We're out of that, too."

"No steaks. Okay...I'll have the butterfly pork chop."

She started to wince at me.

"What? No pork chops, either? Let's make this easy on both
of us...what DO you have?"

She took the menu out of my hand and looked at it, "We
have hamburgers, grilled chicken sandwiches, but we're out
of the focaccia bread so you'll have to have it on a bun,
ummm...we have the buffalo wings, cheese sticks and pizza."

So, we drove 40 minutes for bar food. They were, however,
very good burgers. And I also noticed that they had plenty
of paper in stock on which to write the bill.


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