Monday

New UNC Recruit!

http://www.chathamjournal.com/weekly/moxiepix/a1858.jpg

A UNC scout went to the office 
of the athletic director and 
announced, "Have I got an 
athlete for you! This guy can 
play every sport and excels 
at every position. He is absolutely 
the finest athlete I have ever 
seen play."

The athletic director was very 
impressed but had to ask the 
question, "But how is he scholastically?"

The scout replied, "He makes 
straight "A"s in every subject. 
 However, I must tell you his 
"B"s are a little crooked."




Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor'
and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) Senate Dinosaurs
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, PSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.



UPDATE!!!

3 comments:

Professor Howdy said...

As a general rule, I don't do hospitals. Oh, I visit other people in
hospitals, but I don't stay in them. God has blessed me with wonderful
health over the years. But there was the time I had such an intense bout
with the flu that I ended up badly dehydrated. The doctor was concerned
enough about me that he put me in the hospital for a short time, actually,
to get me re-hydrated with intravenous fluids. Now I've got to tell you,
I was not a happy camper when they told me they were going to admit
me to the hospital. Oh, I was nice on the outside, but inside I was going
"Rrrrrr."

That was until my sister-in-law reminded me of something that she said I had
told her once or twice. (I hate it when my own words come back to haunt me.)
She said, "Remember who you are and remember why you're here."

Actually, God gave me a tremendous opportunity to sow some Gospel seed
in the hospital staff while I was there; the hospital I "no way" wanted to be
in. But as I finally woke up to the fact that I had been assigned there by
God, I began to take advantage of opportunities to show and tell about the
love of Jesus. One nurse wanted a copy of all my books. She said, "You
know, it's really been good having you here. Just think of all the influence
you've had on all us heathen." I said, "No, Betty - not heathen. People God
loved so much that He sent His Son to die for you."

What helped me see what was really going on in my undesirable situation was
that challenge from my sister-in-law, which was (whether she knew it or not)
actually the Mordecai Challenge. Maybe you're a candidate for the Mordecai
Challenge where you are right now. In our word for today from the Word of
God in Esther 4:14, we find a Jewish young woman named Esther providentially
placed in the position of being Queen of Persia. No one knows she's Jewish,
and she's in this great position - which her cousin Mordecai is asking her
to totally lay on the line.

In a palace plot, Esther's people - God's people - have been targeted for
annihilation. Only Esther is in a position to get to the king and plead for
the lives of the Jews. But the law called for anyone who went unbidden into
the throne room of the king to be put to death. And Esther hasn't heard from
the king for a month. Now here is the Mordecai Challenge in Esther 4:14,
"Who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as
this?"

Or, "Remember who you are. Remember why you're there." Esther realizes
she has been placed where she is to save lives, and she risks hers to rescue
them. And her people live because of it. Right now, God may be saying to you
about your situation - where you work, where you go to school, the sport
you're in, the neighborhood you're in, the jam you're in, "You have been put
in this position for such a time as this. Use that position to tell people
about My Son."

I guess in a sense, we are all Esther. God has placed us where we are in
order to save some lives there; lives that Jesus died for. And God has put
those people within your reach so you can rescue them. How are you doing
on the reason you're there?

Remember who you are - Christ's personal ambassador to the people around
you - and don't forget why you're there: to help some of those people around
you be in heaven with you forever.

Chuck Colson & BreakPoint.org said...

The Divorce Generation -
Finding Redemption



Note: This commentary was delivered by PFM President Mark Earley.

It is a common, oft-repeated statistic: One in two American marriages will
end in divorce—even within the Church. It hangs over our nation like a dark
cloud. But what is truly sobering is that an entire generation of Americans
has grown up in a culture where statistically, divorce is every bit as
normal as marriage itself.

Writing in a recent Newsweek article titled, "The Divorce Generation Grows
Up," David Jefferson tells the stories of the Grant High School class of
1982. "In our parents' generation, marriage was still the most powerful
social force," he writes. "In ours, it was divorce. My 44-year-old
classmates and I have watched divorce morph from something shocking, even
shameful, into a routine fact of American life."

Indeed, no-fault divorce laws have been in place for nearly 40 years—leaving
broken lives scattered in its wake.

The statistics are depressing: Every year "1 million children watch their
parents split apart, triple the number in the '50s." They are twice as
likely as their peers to divorce and more likely to experience mental-health
problems. And children in single-parent homes, as we have seen at Prison
Fellowship, are more likely to commit crimes.

Kids also take on emotional burdens they are not ready to carry. "I was a
15-year-old high-school freshman who was forced to become a crisis
counselor," says Jefferson's friend Chris, "trying to keep [my dad] from
completely breaking down." Chris ended up "doing damage to himself, encasing
his own emotions in a dispassionate shell," writes Jefferson, affecting both
his professional and personal life.

Many of Jefferson's classmates later also got divorces; some avoided
marriage altogether.

But others had a different reaction. "In many ways," Jefferson writes, "the
urge to stay married is stronger in my classmates' generation than the urge
to get divorced was in my parents'." Understanding the pain of divorce may
be driving younger people to keep their marriages whole.

Unfortunately, the only solace Jefferson could offer Newsweek readers was
that their parents' and their own divorces "were probably for the best," and
that maybe they could find "acceptance of our parents and their life
choices."

But as Kristine Steakley, author of the forthcoming book Child of Divorce,
Child of God and a blogger at The Point, wrote recently, "God offers us a
better comfort. He doesn't give us acceptance; He gives us redemption. . . .
His comfort does not say, 'Well, that's just the way things are; better get
used to it.' Rather, His comfort says that our world is essentially broken
and that our only hope is the redemption that He himself offers."

And that is the message the Church must send to the Divorce Generation. The
brokenness caused by divorce is palpable. The pain is real. There is a
reason God says, "I hate divorce." But He is also the God who makes all
things new, Who binds up the broken-hearted.

If we want future generations to see marriage not as a hit-or-miss
relationship, but as an enduring sign of God's grace and love, then the
Church has some work to do. We must promote the sanctity of marriage in our
congregations and in our culture. We must reach out to husbands and wives
who are struggling. And we need to show a hurting world the true joy and
blessing of strong, holy marriages.

Professor Howdy said...

The world's population grows by some 100 million each year.
Some 950 million people in the world are malnourished.

***

The average male adult is 5'9'' tall and weighs 155 pounds.
The average female adult is 5'3'' tall and weighs 125 pounds.

***

There are 106 boys born for every 100 girls.

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