Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture!
First Published In The Last Century - July 26, 1997!
Over 9 Million Hits!
An Amusement Park Of Ideas! #ProfHowdy
This UNC grad was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper. Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're asking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself." So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea. The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?" "Huh? I thought you were out of town."
One October my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington's Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about the conditions we might run into, we drove on. Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High Rain Forest road when we saw a sign: "Ice 10 miles." Five miles farther on there was another: "Ice 5 miles." The next one was: "Ice 1/2 mile." We practically crept that half-mile. We came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery, and it read: "Ice 75 cents."
When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?'"
DEFINITIONS DEAD RINGER: A broken telephone. DENIAL: A river in Egypt. DERANGE: A place where de cowboys ride. DERMATOLOGIST: One who makes rash statements. DESK: A trash can with drawers. DETOUR: The roughest distance between two points. HOWLING SUCCESS: The baby that always gets picked up. =============== Most rocks found at the Earth's surface were formed within a few tensof kilometers of the surface. But in some places, there are "magmapipes" (vertical tubes of molten rock) where rocks that were formedmuch deeper are brought to the surface.The rocks from the deepest known source are found on Malaita Islandin the Solomon Islands northeast of Australia. Scientists thererecently found diamonds and other kinds of crystals at the top of amagma pipe that could only be formed at pressures of 22 gigapascals(more than 217,000 times the air pressure at sea level). Thatpressure is only found at depths of 700 kilometers or more (435 miles).According to the scientists, the rocks found in the magma pipe onMalaita were broken off and carried to the surface as the magma movedupward through the Earth's mantle. What an amazing Creator we have.
*Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of yourpeople, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord. --Leviticus 19
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