The 12 Days Of Christmas!

December 14, 2014

My dearest darling John:

Who ever in the whole world 

would dream of getting a real 
Partridge in a Pear Tree?

How can I ever express my 
pleasure? Thank you a hundred 
times for thinking of me this way.

My love always,

*Please see "comments" for
additional eleven romantic


Professor Howdy said...

The 12 days of Christmas

December 14, 2006
My dearest darling John:

Who ever in the whole world would dream
of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree?
How can I ever express my pleasure.
Thank you a hundred times for thinking
of me this way.

My love always,


December 15, 2006

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.
Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted
at your very thoughtful gift.

They are just adorable.

All my love,


December 16, 2006

Dear John:

Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest.
I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens.

They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

All my love,


December 17, 2006
Dear John:

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really,
they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough.
You are being too romantic.



December 18, 2006
Dearest John:

What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings,
one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.

Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love,


December 19, 2006
Dear John:

When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying
on my front steps.

So you're back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge.
Where will I ever keep them?

The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.
Please stop.



December 20, 2006

What's with you and those #### birds??

Seven swans a swimming. What kind of #### joke is this?

There's bird #### all over the house and they never stop the
racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny.

So stop those #### birds.


Professor Howdy said...


December 21, 2006
OK. Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What the #### am I going to do with
8 maids a milking?

It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but
they had to bring their #### cows.

There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house.
Just lay off me, smart ####.



December 22, 2006
Hey ####:

What are you.....some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing.

And #### do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids
since they got here yesterday morning.

The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching
birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to
evict me.

You'll get yours!


December 23, 2006
You rotten jerk::

Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those #### ladies.

They've been chasing those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep
and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of ####.

The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the
building shouldn't be condemned. I'm calling the police on you!



December 24, 2006
Listen ####:

What's with those eleven lords a leaping all over?
Some of those people will never walk again.

Those pipers ran ran the maids and have been
causing several injuries.

All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled
to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.

You're sworn enemy,


December 25, 2006
Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which
you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.

The destruction, of course, was total.

All correspondence should come to our attention.

If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium,
the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight. With this letter
please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Law Offices of Badger, Bender and Chole

Professor Howdy said...

We'd stopped for gas next to an Interstate that takes you at 75 MPH across long miles of desert. I love the west. That's where I saw the sign: "Dead End - 3 Miles Ahead." I thought, "I wonder if anyone ever said, 'I'm not sure that's true of that old dirt road. I think I'll drive that way and check it out for myself.'" We got back on the Interstate, and of course, I had to see where that other road went. Sure enough, that bumpy road ended three miles later in the middle of nothing in the desert...right next to a road that speeds you to a lot of great destinations.

Why would anyone drive down a road that goes nowhere, especially when there's another road nearby that takes you to some wonderful places? Sadly, people are doing it all the time. Not with their vehicle, but with their life! Maybe because they missed the dead-end sign or they didn't believe it. Someone who's listening right now may be making that very mistake and not even realizing it.

God has put up a sign that warns us to avoid the dead-end streets. In fact, He's written in some big, bold letters. It's posted in our word for today from the Word of God in James 1:14-15. It says: "Each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."

That's pretty clear. Every sinful choice is a dead-end street. It leaves you dead at the end. Of course, temptation never announces where it's taking you; only the "goodies" that it seems to be offering you. Sin says, "This may be wrong but it will give you love." You go for it, and you end up more lonely or used than loved. Sin says, "Don't worry. This will give your life some excitement!" You go for it, and you end up hating yourself for what you've done. Sin says, "Come on, you'll feel better about yourself." You drive down the road and you end up feeling worse about yourself.

Sin always kills. Always. It kills your self-respect, it kills people's trust in you, it kills your reputation, people you love, your future, your closeness to God. First, sin fascinates you, then it assassinates you. But the road looks so promising that you blow by God's "Dead End" sign.

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it" (Matthew 7:13). What's important is not how nice the road looks but where it's going to take you, and God has made that ironclad clear!

Don't waste any more time on a road that's ultimately going to leave you in the middle of nowhere, even if you can't see that now. God's Word will prove true. When we don't find what we hoped to find on a road we should never be on, we sometimes make a choice that only makes it worse. We decide we need to do more of what already hasn't worked! God says to you, as recorded in Isaiah 48, "I am the Lord your God who teaches you what is best for you...If only you had paid attention to My commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea."

Now that sounds like where you'd like to be, doesn't it? Then it's time to turn back from a road you never should have been on in the first place. What's ahead is only disappointment, despair and death. Within your reach is the Jesus-road; the one that leads to life! He's waiting to welcome you, forgive you and then lead you onto the road you were made to be on! Here's the choice you have in God's own words:

"I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." (Deuteronomy 30:19)

Professor Howdy said...

To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please visit: Yours for Life or call 1-888-966-7325.
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