Friday

Democrat Husband!



A Democrat came home to his wife 
and said to her: "Guess what? I've 
found a great job. A 10 AM start,
2 PM finish, no overtime, no week-
ends and it pays $600 a week!"

"That's great," his wife said.


"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. 

"You start Monday."

7 comments:

Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard said...

Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot's faster. You can catch cold.

Anonymous said...

My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be: I walked among the crowds of worshipers, leading a great procession to the house of God, singing for joy and giving thanks -- it was the sound of a great celebration! Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again -- my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember your kindness - Psalm 42

Professor Howdy said...

Children's children are the crown
of old men, And the glory of children
is their father. - Proverbs 17:6 NKJV

Professor Howdy said...

Parenting is not a precise science, you might say; you don't just mix certain ingredients and get a certain reaction. In fact, it's largely experimental. But after a while you learn more creative ways to do what is right. Now you can yell, you can overpower, you can threaten them until they're bigger than you are. Or you can work through the method I came to call "The Squeeze." It's a method that steers a child to the right choice. It's also known as "The Lousy Choice" approach.

It works like this: you give your child two choices, but the one is so bad you know your child will choose the other one. Now, maybe you should have your child cover their ears in case they're listening. We wouldn't want them to know this secret. Example: I might say to my son, "Uh, look, you can do your yard work and I'll help you if you get it done before noon today or you can do it all by yourself sometime before Friday." Okay, now obviously he's gonna want to do it when he's got some help. "Okay, you can set your own study hours or I'll set them." And usually he would end up choosing where he ought to be. I mean, that works even with a grownup child like you and me.

Now our word for today from the Word of God, here we go, Acts 1:8 - familiar words - Jesus says to His disciples, "You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem" (that's where they were, in Jerusalem). And then He says, "and in all Judea and Samaria," (well, they had no plans to go there) "and to the ends of the earth." I'm pretty sure they didn't have any plans to go there.

Now listen to Acts 8:1 - that was Acts 1:8 - now listen to Acts 8:1 - it tells you how it happened. "On that day a great persecution broke out against the Church of Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria." Now, that's an interesting way God got it to happen isn't it?

The Christians in Jerusalem maybe would have never gotten out of Jerusalem unless they were pushed. They were supposed to be out beyond the borders of Jerusalem, but they had to be squeezed to go and do what they should do. It's kind of like the squeeze approach with our children. I'll give you two choices, you can stay where you are in this painful situation or God says, "You can go where I have been trying to send you."


Now you and I are much like those first Christians; we get settled into a comfortable place - one way of doing things. We hunker down in a situation, not necessarily because its best or what God wants, but because it's familiar, and safe, and secure, comfy, and then God starts squeezing. You may be wondering why God has turned up the heat right now; why the pressure is growing. Maybe He wants to make a change in your life, and you won't move unless He squeezes you to do it. Oh you can stubbornly choose the pain of staying put if you want or you can obediently choose what He knows is best for you in His kingdom. Now if you're feeling the pressure right now, it isn't so much that God is mad at you - He's just got something better for you, something bigger for you, and He wants you to choose it.

Two thousand years ago the Gospel spread around the world by first breaking out of Jerusalem because some people were pushed and squeezed to do it, and right now He might be doing the same thing with you. If you're like my children or you're like the first century Jerusalem Christians, maybe you have to be squeezed to obey.


To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please visit: Yours for Life or call 1-888-966-7325.

"A Word With You" by Ron Hutchcraft

Professor Howdy said...

By Its Cover


In a study included in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine children were shown to overwhelmingly prefer the taste of food that comes in McDonald's wrappers. The study had preschoolers sample identical foods in packaging from McDonald's and in matched, but unbranded, packaging. The kids were then asked if the food tasted the same or if one tasted better. The unmarked foods lost the taste test every time. Even apple juice, carrots, and milk tasted better to the kids when taken from the familiar wrappings of the Golden Arches. "This study demonstrates simply and elegantly that advertising literally brainwashes young children into a baseless preference for certain food products," said a physician from Yale's School of Medicine. "Children, it seems, literally do judge a food by its cover. And they prefer the cover they know."(1)


The science of advertising is often about convincing the world that books can and should be judged by their covers. These
kids were not merely saying they preferred the taste of McDonald's food. They actually believed the chicken nugget they thought was from McDonald's tasted better than an identical nugget. From an early age and on through adulthood, branding is directive in telling us what we think and feel, who we are, and what matters.


But lest we blame television and marketing entirely for the wiles of brand recognition, we should recall that advertisers continue to have employment simply because advertising works. Perception is reality. That is, long before marketers were encouraging customers to judge by image, wrapping, and cover, we were judging by these methods anyway. When the ancient Samuel was looking for the person God would ordain as king, he had a particular image in mind. In fact, when he first laid eyes on Eliab, Samuel thought confidently that this was the one God had chosen. But on the contrary, God said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have
rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7).


The study with the preschoolers is startling because adults can see clearly that a carrot in a McDonald's bag is still inherently a carrot. Yet how often are we, too, blindsided by mere wrappings? Is the mistake of a child in believing the food tastes better in a yellow wrapper really any different than our own believing we are better people dressed with the right credentials, covered by the latest fashion, or wrapped in the right belief-systems? Covered in whatever comforts us or completely stripped of our many wrappings, we are the same people underneath.


(Continued Below!)

Professor Howdy said...

According to the apostle Paul, there is one exception. Paul writes of a kind of clothing that changes the one inside them. "[F]or all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor
female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:27-28). Clothed in the righteousness of the man Jesus, a person is wrapped in the identity of one without sin. They are given new packaging, new life, new robes worn only by Christ, and thus, like him, they are fitted to approach the throne of God.


Unlike the catch and costliness of well-marketed wrappings, the robes Paul describes are free. Christ requires only that we come without costume or pretense. The many robes we collect, the covers with which we judge the world, we must be willing to give him. He takes from tired shoulders robes of self-importance and false security. He tears from determined grasps those garments of self-pity and shame. And then he clothes the needful soul with garments of salvation, arrays us in robes of righteousness, and reminds us that we wear his holy name from the inside out.




Jill Carattini is managing editor of A Slice of Infinity at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in
Atlanta, Georgia.




(1) "Foods Tastes Better With McDonald's Logo, Kids Say," Forbes, August 6, 2007.

Professor Howdy said...


Four Important Things To KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews,
Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians,
Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist,
French, etc.) have sinned & fall
short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1)
are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation
from God, & damnation) but the Gift
(free & at no charge to you) of God
(Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through
(in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of the
Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly
prized the world (Americans, Muslims,
Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans,
Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons,
Methodist, French, etc.) that
He even gave up His only begotten
(unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living)
believes (trust in, relies on, clings to,
depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH,
& THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American,
Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist,
Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French,
etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with
GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -

(Rev. 3:20)




{Please note that church membership,
baptism, doing good things, etc. are not
requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}


Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad
is the road that leads to destruction
(Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small
is the gate and narrow the road that
leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it.



++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?




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But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

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