You have just received the
UNC* virus. As the school
don't have any technology
or programming experience,
this virus works on the honor
system.
Please delete all the files from
your hard drive and manually
forward this virus to everyone
on your mailing list.
Thank you for your cooperation.
UNC Computer Department
*Please see "comments" for
additional pertinent & germane
information.
*Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
ReplyDeletehumor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), N.U.T., A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some
ReplyDeletepeople appear bright until you hear them speak.
TRIVIA:
ReplyDeleteDID YOU KNOW...
With an exchange rate running at an average of 428,287.55
Ukranian Karbovanets to the dollar, total assests of just
$5.62 will qualify a person as a Ukranian millionaire.
***
Figs have the highest dietary fiber content of any common
fruit, nut, or vegetable.
***
The corkscrew was invented by M.L. Bryn in 1860.
***
OYSTERS FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH & DINNER?
Oysters were a major part of life in New York in the late
1800s. They were eaten for breakfast, lunch, and dinner;
they were pickled, stewed, baked, roasted, fried, scalloped,
and used in soups, patties, and puddings. Oystering in New
York supported large numbers of families, and oyster theft
was a prevalent problem.
***
WHAT IS A "BLIND ROAD"?
In England, the term "blind road" means a cul-de-sac or
dead-end street.
***
WHERE DID CHICAGO'S FIRST LIBRARY GET ITS BOOKS?
In 1871, Queen Victoria and the people of Britain shipped
cartons of books to the city of Chicago. English novelist
Thomas Hughes helped organize the books, which were the
basis of the city's first library.
==================
A UNC grad is a waitress at a hotel. One morning a
customer was sitting at the table in the dining area, and
said to the grad: "I'd like a cup of coffee, no cream."
The grad went to get the coffee, but after 2 minutes came
back to ask, "I'm sorry sir, we are out of cream. Would you
want your coffee without milk instead?"
==================
If you stop believing what your professor told you
had to be true and if you start thinking for yourself
you may come to some conclusions you hadn't
expected. You may find the Bible makes more
sense than you thought or were told to think.
Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regard
to what you always thought could be true. Can
you believe what you don't understand?You
and I believe everyday what we don't understand
unless it comes to the issue to salvation. Dr. Woodrow Kroll
==================
A N.C. highway patrolman pulled alongside
a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see
that the UNC student behind the wheel was
knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to
his flashing light sand siren, the trooper
cranked down his window, turned on his
bullhorn and yelled, "Pull over!"
"No," the student yelled back, "It's a scarf!"
==================
An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when
a car pulls over next to him.
"If you get in the car," the driver says, "I'll give you $10
and a piece of candy."
The boy refuses and keeps on walking.
A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man
driving the car pulls over again. "How about $20 and two
pieces of candy?"
The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on
walking.
Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side
road.
"OK," he says, "this is my final offer. I'll give you $50
and all the candy you can eat."The little boy stops, goes
to the car and leans in.
"Look," he says to the driver. "You bought the Chevrolet,
Dad. You'll have to live with it!"
==================
To those who've asked: We received your address from
a friend of yours, your Mom, or perhaps even a caring
professor. Additionally some received "Thought & Humor"
because they were predestined or due to the ups & downs
of kismet (which do you think is right). Please enjoy...
==================
Dear Howdy,
I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting
and fishing, my family eats a considerable amount of wild
game. So much, in fact, that one evening as I set a platter
of broiled venison steaks on the dinner table, my 6-year-old
daughter looked up and said, "Boy, it sure would be nice if
pizzas lived in the woods.
John R.
==================
A young man was talking to a UNC student that he had just met, and
asked for her name.
"I don't want to tell you," she said, "I'm named after both of my
parents, and it's kind of embarrassing."
"Well, what could be so bad about that?" the gentleman asked.
"My mother's name is Eliza, and my father's name is Ferdinand." the
lady answered.
"Well, those are nice names" the guy replied.
"But they named me Ferdeliza!"
==================
The motto "In God We Trust" was adopted as the US national motto
by President Dwight Eisenhower. History of the adoption of "In God
We Trust".
==================
The importance of Jerusalem popularly accepted by
today’s Muslim derives from the belief that within the
Dome of the Rock lies the sacred site from which
Mohammed allegedly ascended to heaven.
That tradition, however, though now firmly established
in the Muslim mind, is of very recent origin. It is, in fact,
a fabrication invented by Yasser Arafat’s uncle, Haj Amin
el-Husseini, past Grand Mufti of Jerusalem. He promoted
this myth in the 1920s and 1930s in order to arouse Arab
sentiment against the growing Jewish presence in Jerualem
and to justify the location of the Dome of the Rock on the
Temple site.
Dave Hunt, A Cup of Trembling
Hi!
ReplyDeletebecause Iam not in the town ( I am in unc right now)I ve just have a chance to read some of your blogs they are all nice ! Thanks!
.....*
New studies show that cell phones, amidst other technologies with intentions of furthering social structure, are altering social behavior in ways that would seem counterintuitive. Friends remain on their phones when they are together. Answering a ringing phone at dinner or in a meeting is less likely to be viewed as an interruption (by the answerer) than it was even five years ago. Phones created with the intention of fostering communication now seem to be furthering qualities of poor communication--or in some cases no communication at all.
ReplyDeleteOne major company has recently introduced what it refers to an added functionality for their subscribers. A service they are calling "Escape-A-Date" allows users to arrange for their cell phone to ring at a specified time. The call then guides the answerer through an automated "escape script" that allows the individual to talk his or her way out of being with the gullible person across the table any longer.
The evening comes to an abrupt end as half of the party is seemingly in need of rushing off to tend to business. If the date is going well, the courtesy call is simply not answered.
This added functionality rivals its non-automated partners in crime, "alibi clubs," in which online members enlist one another to create an alibi. One only has to post a request for an alibi, which is then answered and acted out to maintain a façade of innocence. Complete strangers call each other's spouses, bosses, or children, explaining the delay, lessening the disappointment, providing an excuse that allows the one in trouble to go free. Even the most ridiculous scenarios need only the compassion of a fellow stranger to keep the lines of communication "open."
There is a phrase in the psalmist's mouth that leaps out at me as I read of these emerging functionalities that come into our lives and wreck havoc on genuine functionality. Such counterproductive fruit springing up all around us is
something like the “grass on a rooftop” the psalmist describes. In psalm 129, he is referring to the deceptive or the wicked, those who work against God's kingdom. Crying out to God he asks that they be like "grass on a rooftop" (129:6).
At first glance it seems at best an odd request. But in the crevices of the flat roofs of Eastern houses grass indeed springs up, seeming almost to boast about its heightened position in rebellious places. Like the tufts of grass that seem to tirelessly fight back to own a place in the cracks of our sidewalks and driveways, grass on the rooftop stubbornly declares its existence and demands attention, lest the roof itself be damaged. Still, why would anyone ask God to make his enemies like the annoying grass with which he unremittingly fights each year? The conclusions seem almost disheartening. Will the corruption and counterproduction that endlessly springs forth in the crevices of society ever cease? Will the deception and wickedness that
grows like weeds not be stopped?
The psalmist's colorful description reminds us that, for now, it will likely not be stopped. But in the image of grass upon a roof the psalmist wisely bids us to see--and to pray--something more of our enemies and their schemes that threaten: "May they be as useless as grass on a rooftop, turning yellow when only half grown, ignored by the harvester, despised by the binder" (Psalm 129:6-7).
The weeds of certain and hazardous corruption will remain, but like grass on a rooftop it will never be grass as it was intended, or even as it might hope. Communication that is spoken through alibi clubs and escape scripts is not communication and eventually will bear its counterproductive fruit. Grass on a rooftop cannot fill the reapers' hands, nor can it fill the gatherers' arms. It may boast in its elevated position and rebellious standing, but having shallow roots and nowhere to grow, it cannot remain standing. It bears no fulfillment, nothing to cut
or to carry, nothing for the hand to grasp, nothing that will last.
In the words of the Count of Monte Cristo, we therefore wait and hope. “For until the day comes when God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these words: Wait and hope." We wait for the coming kingdom in its fullness and we take hope in its signs in our midst today. And when we pray, we pray that those who work against the kingdom of God in whatever capacity shall be like grass on a rooftop, until the day when weeds shall be no more.
Jill Carattini is managing editor of A Slice of Infinity at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.
When there are no parameters, no defined boundaries, chaos is almost always the result. Join Ravi today as he looks at the importance of meaning and definition. Listen online to Ravi Zacharias as he teaches how to engage the culture with conversations that count on this week's Just
Thinking.
http://www.rzim.org/USA/Resources/Listen/JustThinking.aspx